I’ve had the joy of working with children my entire life. When I say my entire life, I mean it—I was that kid teaching my dolls in a makeshift classroom, begging my teachers for leftover curriculum to teach my “students” all summer long.

It’s no surprise that I eventually became a teacher, working in inclusive classrooms where children with diverse abilities learned side by side. Later, I became a mom, got deeply connected to my church, and—as often happens when you volunteer a lot—joined the staff. I served as a preschool leader, children’s pastor, and multi-campus ministry leader.

I’ve had so many wonderful days leading kids, parents, and volunteers. But one of the hardest days came not as a leader but as a church attendee.

The Sunday That Broke Me

I had transitioned from leading in ministry to serving as a ministry coach while staying connected to the kids’ environment. But every Sunday, I walked to pick up my son, Matthew, with a pit in my stomach. Weekly, I was met with comments like, “We’re so glad Matthew is here, but…” followed by a list of challenges: “He had trouble sitting,” “He disrupted the small group,” “He ran around during the lesson.”

As a parent, those conversations felt deeply personal. I was already advocating for Matthew at school, attending IEP meetings, and fighting to ensure he had support. I desperately wanted one day where we could feel loved and supported without me having to fight for it.

One Sunday, after yet another difficult conversation, I broke. A follow-up phone call about Matthew’s behavior brought me to tears. The weight of it all was too much. The church felt no different than the world.

The Church Needs to Be Different

Statistics tell us that one in five families has a member with a disability. Yet over 80% of those families do not attend church. Why? Because too often, the church mirrors the world instead of being a refuge of love and inclusion.

But we are called to be different, and Jesus modeled this over and over again.

• The Paralytic and His Friends
  In Mark 2, friends carried a paralytic to Jesus. Unable to get through the crowd, they lowered him through the roof. That’s the kind of church we’re called to be—a community that overcomes obstacles to bring everyone to Jesus. Notice that Jesus addressed the man’s spiritual need first: “Son, your sins are forgiven” (Mark 2:5). Physical or mental differences are not barriers to faith. A person’s relationship with God matters more than their ability to conform to societal norms.

• The Blind Man in John 9
  In John 9, Jesus healed a man born blind. When asked if the disability was caused by sin, Jesus replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned…but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (John 9:3). Disabilities are not failures but opportunities for God’s glory to shine.

• Jesus and the Marginalized
  Jesus consistently embraced those society marginalized. He touched lepers (Matthew 8:3), healed a bleeding woman (Luke 8:43-48), and dined with tax collectors (Luke 5:29-32). He made them central to His ministry. If Jesus wasn’t afraid to break norms, why should we be?

Practical Steps to Create Belonging

How can we follow Jesus’ example and create spaces where everyone—especially those with disabilities—feels they belong?

1. Change Your Mindset
   Inclusion begins with a shift in perspective. Stop seeing disabilities as obstacles and start seeing them as opportunities to reflect God’s love.

2. Educate Yourself and Your Team
   If this isn’t your lived experience, there’s a learning curve. Partner with organizations that serve individuals with disabilities. Invite leaders and individuals to share their stories. Offer trauma-informed care training for volunteers.

3. Build a Plan
   Start small, but start somewhere. Practical steps include:

   • Buddy Programs: Pair volunteers with individuals needing extra support.

   • Sensory-Friendly Areas: Provide tools like noise-canceling headphones or weighted blankets.

   • Accessible Events: Adapt lighting, sound, and facilities to accommodate diverse needs.

4. Prioritize Relationships Over Compliance
   Focus on genuine connections. Worship and service should reflect who God created each person to be, not societal expectations.

Easter Sunday: The Ripple Effect of Belonging

I’ll never forget an Easter Sunday when a new family visited our church. Their son, Jonas, found the trampoline in the kids’ area and stayed there the entire hour. My team and I took turns as his “jumping buddies.”

Did Jonas hear the resurrection story? Probably not. But he felt Christ’s love through a community that met him where he was. His family experienced belonging in a place where they had often felt excluded. When his mom picked him up, she hugged me with tears in her eyes and said, “I haven’t been to church on Easter Sunday in years. Thank you.”

The Call to Be Different

The church has the power to be a place of healing and belonging. Let’s follow Jesus’ example. Let’s educate ourselves, embrace differences, and create spaces where everyone can experience Christ’s love.

Because when we build spaces of belonging, they will come.

Blog written by Missy Purcell