There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
How many of us counted the cost (both emotionally and financially) of what it would take to raise a child and/or care for an aging parent? Many are doing both…Because we love our child, we don’t often consider the cost because we simply do what is needed and want the best for them.
My daughter arrived in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) in the middle of the night on the eve of Thanksgiving. A tough respiratory virus attacked her lungs, and she needed a substantial amount of oxygen support. And now, this unexpected illness meant Thanksgiving was going to be completely different than we had all planned.
Are you scrounging for thankfulness this holiday season? Holidays can be a challenge for those walking through hard days. Perhaps you feel like you've been handed the short-end of the stick; your child is struggling, you’re exhausted and it seems like everybody else has life with a bit more gravy. It’s easy to focus on our circumstances, take stock of what we have and where we are and end up feeling completely void of thankfulness. Is there a cure for this?
As I talked with my high school classmate, he recalled that the girls in our class weren't very nice to one girl in elementary school. He recounted how the girl was ostracized for being different. I knew exactly who he was talking about, and what had happened. I took a deep breath. "I was one of the mean girls."
Most of us on this special needs journey put on a good face in public, but often behind closed doors we are weary, tired, sometimes frustrated, along with other challenging word choices. But we are most thankful and grateful for the stress, because of all we have learned in the midst of it. We realize that if everything went smoothly, if everything was simple and easy, we wouldn’t have any need for or room for God in our lives. We’d go with the flow, enjoy the smooth ride on the river of life, and seldom need to paddle because the ride would be so effortless.
The new device will help my son be more aware of himself, his actions and words, so he can communicate better, conduct himself in socially acceptable ways with others, and as a believer, become more Christ-like. But I'm not off the hook just because I'm a neurotypical person. More than the frustration my son feels with therapies and resources to make his life better, I felt like this tool was a sanctification device that maybe we should all use.
It seemed to me that the experience of learning how to hitch and tow a trailer was a lot like my journey as a special needs parent, and in reality it was the perfect analogy for our lives. So here are some takeaways from my time in relative isolation driving to Ontario to have our trailer hitch installed. I hope that some of these may ring true for you as well.
