Getting ready each day for school is one thing for our typically developing children, but often quite another for our children with special needs. And when we say “special needs” we know there is a great spectrum of various degrees in each diagnosis. So trying to sift getting from a school daze to happy and productive school days is quite a feat! But let’s give it a try!
Here are a few ideas for getting organized and productive for upcoming school days:
The Night Before
- Have each child choose their outfits for the next day. The child with special needs might need you to hold up 2 outfits of which they can choose from or going to the closet and making a sufficient choice.
- Have the same place to set out these outfits – in order to develop a routine.
- Items like bookbags, packing lunches, or getting shoes and coats ready to go, can be done the night before too.
In The Morning
- Wake up the same time each day during the school week.
- Whichever children can use an alarm of some type, let them use it. (For the child with special needs you might need to wake them gently to get them going)
- All media (TV, radio, phone, iPad, etc.) should be off. Often this time of day is chaotic and media outlets complicate listening and moving toward getting out the door. We used to notice some things on TV or fast noisy music would “work Joey up” making it hard to communicate with him. Perhaps consider playing quiet, soft, and calm music in the morning. You might notice a big difference, fast.) Also quiet calm voices are helpful.
Setting Limits
- Keep times for doing homework the same each day by telling the children, “We’ll work for _____ minutes and then we’ll take a break.” Use a timer so they realize it’s not going to be all night that they’re doing homework.
- Giving them outdoor time to run around, play a game, and enjoy the weather and a break from school is often helpful. Let them know there is a time limit.
Breaking Down Jobs
- If a task (homework, setting the table, getting out clothes, etc.) is overwhelming, help breakdown the job. Often for Joey it is helpful for him to see a list (with a square box next to each step to check off). For the child who can’t read, draw a picture. For the child who has other needs, use your creativity and knowledge of your child. Be as creative and fun as possible.
Delegation and Teamwork
- It’s often helpful to work together, or in some cases to simply give the task to someone who can help you, like another caregiver, a sibling, etc. Choose carefully knowing personalities and how they work together! Sometimes a parent needs “hands off” help and other times one of the parents are the only one who can help. Either way, learn to give others direction that are helpful to you.
Rewards
- What matters to the child? Words of affirmation? A prize? An outing? Is there a chart you can compile that when they’ve reached a certain point of success you reward them? If rewards aren’t important perhaps, they will….
Enjoy the Process and Success As It Is
- No matter what, it’s fun when we start to see things getting into a nice routine and a simplified way of doing things that is kind and helpful.
- Complimenting the child makes them feel good.
Often, we think of school as our own issue, but there are times our friends, the church, our family, and others can help us (people who are trusted and caring individuals.) They might do so by:
- Setting up times with older students or adults who might be willing to offer you after school help. You’ll have to supply good explanation and hands on help until they “get it.” (Tutoring, help with homework, etc.)
- Planning play dates or walks to the park or in the neighborhood to provide an outing with the child with special needs so you can help the other children with homework, etc.
- Consider your needs and suggest to your circle how others might help.
Hopefully as you enter this school year, you’ll get to create a nice flow of routine that allows you to feel good at the end of each day and not SCHOOL DAZED!
HELP IS ON THE WAY: A NEW BOOK by Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini is being written for Moody Publishing to encourage and equip parents who have a child with special needs! Additionally, they have written: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey. They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs, have spoken nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways for 20 years, authored Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Janet Parshall at “In the Market”, Chris Brooks of “Equipped” and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at:
www.cindiferrini.com and via social media at:
www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini