April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Along with the October Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I would love to see Christian pastors and Christian counselors be at the forefront of not only bringing awareness, but also coming up with the solutions to serve domestic violence victims and sexual assault survivors, to end abuse. The hope is that if we can give better education and understanding about domestic violence, churches will want to act and bring the hope of Jesus to others, leading to less trauma, depression, anxiety, and substance misuse for the victims and their families.
The social definition of domestic violence is “a pattern of assaultive and coercive behaviors, including physical, sexual, and psychological attacks, as well as economic coercion, that adults or adolescents use against their intimate partners.” For those interested in getting involved through your church to help your community, listed below are some statistics that you can use to help get support through church leaders and the community, to find volunteers and funding for your efforts. For those who are interested in learning more about this, Church Mental Health Refreshers is an upcoming conference featuring Mike Sloan, talking on how to recognize and respond to domestic violence as the Church. You definitely want to check it out.
Photo credit: nsvrc.org
There is also fear that with COVID, people have been more isolated and therefore victims have not been seen or protected. Churches, reach out to your congregation; see how they are doing.
Women are much more likely than men to be victimized by a current or former intimate partner (National Criminal Victimization Survey). This means that if the family is coming to church, the domestic violence victim is coming to church with their abuser. How does your leadership and security team get involved? How do you do pastoral care for that individual, the children, and the community?
10% of Christian women answering the survey had experienced physical abuse in their relationship, and 7% of Christian men admitted perpetrating physical abuse (Evangelical Alliance). This is people who are willing to admit the abuse; no doubt the real statistic is much higher.
Nearly 30% of U.S. couples (married and unmarried) will experience intimate partner violence at some point in their relationship. Men who attend religious services several times a week are 72% less likely to abuse their female partners than men from comparable backgrounds who do not attend services. Compared with a woman who never attends religious services, a woman who shares similar demographic characteristics but attends several times a week is roughly 40% less likely to be a victim of domestic violence (Violence Against Women). It isn't that Church or faith is a cure-all, but being actively involved in your church reduces likelihood of domestic violence.
Nearly 1 in 5 women have been raped in their lifetime, while 1 in 71 men have been raped in their lifetime (CDC). We need to promote healthy understanding of sex and boundaries. We are the light of Christ; let's step up.
Abuse comes in many different forms, including the known physical, emotional, sexual abuse, stalking, intimidation, and threats, but also includes economic, spiritual, and psychological abuse, using children, and even using animals. A common concern that happens with domestic violence is the abuser will say things like, "she just didn't take her medication" or "she's just crazy, don't listen to her. She's going to counseling." Abusers also use housing, transportation, child care, and threats of divorce or filing for child custody.
Sexual assault does not happen because someone wears revealing clothing or behaves provocatively. Sexual assault is a sinful act of the abuser. Anything else is victim blaming and justifying the abuser (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network).
We want to be helpers, not rescuers. Helps listen for a request, offers, gives only what's needed, and checks for results. Rescuers give when not asked, don't ask if the offer of help is welcome, give more help and for longer than needed, and don't check results; rescuers talk more than listen.
This is a topic that takes more than a single article to tackle, but we encourage you to step up and be the Church. What other resources about abuse do you recommend for churches? Share in the comments below.
Jeremy Smith is a clinical mental health counselor in Ohio and founder of www.churchandmentalhealth.com.
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