Today was a bad pain day. I never cry from pain. Never, except for today. I cry in frustration or anger, but I never cry from pain. I full out ugly cried today. I hate crying in front of people. It’s the worst watching my hurts hurt them. I digress.
For the purposes of this blog, let’s establish one of my core beliefs about God. God is still a healer. Just like He was in the Old Testament, like He was when He walked the earth, and like He was through His disciples after He ascended. I believe this with every fiber of my being. I have lived through miracles; I have seen God heal people with prayer. God. Is. A. Healer. That’s a part of who He is. Yet sometimes, He says no. Sometimes, He tells us to wait. For the time being, this chronic pain I walk through is one of those times. I am tired friends, so tired of hurting, but I have faith that God is true to His word. That He will work out all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. And so, I praise Him where I am.
We have worked so hard on making our church inclusive, open, and accepting to people of all abilities, all who want to draw closer to our Savior. I am a staff pastor at our church so I’m part of that team. But today I saw a flaw and it hit me where it hurt, literally. I’ve noticed this flaw at a glance before, but today it hit me, hard.
Today, in my church—one after another—the matriarchs of our church walked up to me as I walked down the aisle after service to do some of my daily duties. One, praying that I would just believe, so He could heal me. One, that I would repent. One, that I would stop assuming God was using this pain and just believe and be healed. It was an unintentional, love-driven assault.
And I was not just hurt. I was mad. “Get behind me, Satan,” level mad. Not at them, but at the enemy. With that, may I suggest that we have a conversation, my fellow church.
God is a healer. Hallelujah and amen! But being healed is more complicated than just believing.
Feel free to reach out to me about my theology, but this is the way I see it. God will one day heal every believer. Whether on Earth or in Heaven we will be made whole, but healing is not promised to all of us while walking the earth. If healing were a guarantee, no one would die. Sometimes God says no, and He is still good in that no.
Let me put this simply: there are two options for my brothers and sisters with chronic illness, pain, and other disabilities. Either God will heal you or He will sustain you. That’s the bottom line. Because God is faithful, even in the no. Even in the wait. Whom He does not heal, He sustains.
There are many reasons why healing doesn’t happen. Here are three I would like to suggest:
1) Perhaps we need a thorn to keep us humble, just like Paul. If this is true, we can rejoice in the fact His power is made perfect in our weakness.
2) Perhaps we are asking in pride and entitlement instead of desperation. There’s a difference between acting like God is a genie in a bottle who has to give us what we want because that is His job, and behaving like He is a loving Father. I liken the reason God says no sometimes to the reason my kids have had to endure the pain of an IV; God sees the benefit when I only see the pain.
3) Perhaps others will see God’s faithfulness in our struggles and praise Him!
Photo credit: Harlie Raethel on Unsplash.com
At the risk of being dramatic here, I have to say this: How dare we, Church! How dare we assume we know better than God’s timing. Yes: ask, seek, knock. But whether or not He says yes, He is still the only one worthy of praise. Not being healed is not necessarily a sign of weak faith or even sin. Sometimes, our pain is meant to be used for God’s glory. Sometimes we have to wait for the right moment, like the woman with the pervasive bleeding problem. I refuse to be like an indignant, spoiled child who throws a tantrum for not getting her way. I want to not hurt. I am so tired of pain. But we need to stop assuming we know God’s will, which our feeble minds could not begin to comprehend, and start saying, “Thy will be done.” Look at what God said to Job when Job questioned Him. God lists a snippet of His infinite knowledge, and control, and then says:
“Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? Let him who accuses God answer Him!”
I want to clarify that in all this, Job didn’t sin. But doesn’t his story teach us not to question our God’s purposes or timing? To trust His goodness through the pain?
If the church treats pain like my sweet sisters, who I love dearly, did today, we are taking a huge gamble. We are gambling with people’s faith. What if we stopped saying, “Just believe,” and started saying, “I see you believe, I will believe for you in moments when it’s hard.” Assuming failure to believe or sin risks causing stumbling, to those to whom God says wait or no.
Fellow Christians, I implore you, stop assuming you know God’s will. Pray in faith for the hurting to be healed. Please do. Often, we have not because we ask not. But remember also to pray that God’s will be done in their lives. Remember to pray that God will sustain them. Help them find their hallelujah where they are. And please, please, stop assuming people in pain don’t have faith, if you don’t want us to assume the same when your broken arm is not instantly healed.
With love,
Pastor Jo
Joanna French is the special needs pastor at Flint Hills Church, Junction City, KS. Joanna and her husband Jairmie have two boys with autism. In 2017, Joanna started Flint Hills Embrace with the goal to make Flint Hills Church a place where everyone belongs. Why? Because we all have a place in God's plan.
