“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” -1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Rejoice always?
Pray continually?
Give thanks in all circumstances?
It’s not as easy as the scripture makes it sound, is it?
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
The world is heavy. So much is hard, complicated, and confusing. Sometimes it feels like we can hardly breathe. For special needs parents, the weight is sometimes different. I don’t know if it’s more or less since I’ve never been a parent of neurotypical children, but I do know it’s different.
There are many hard things, but to name a few:
It’s knowing you face a higher incidence of divorce, working with everything in you to protect your marriage, and raising your exceptional children to be healthy adults.
It’s the balancing act between maintaining your own mental health and making it to every doctor’s appointment your child must attend.
It’s the recognition that one day your child might be alone. Who’s going to take care of them when you die?
It’s the overwhelming additional cost of raising children with disabilities.
That’s just a few. I don’t know if it’s easier or harder; I just know it’s different. However, there is much strength to be found in common ground.
On that note, I wish to encourage you.
There is always, always, ALWAYS something for which to be thankful.
There is always, always, ALWAYS something in which to rejoice.
And even more encouraging, God is always, always, ALWAYS listening and bringing good from the darkness.
In case the holiday season is hard for you, I wanted to share some things for which we can all be thankful.
You are loved. Your feelings are not always factual, so if you feel unloved or unworthy, that doesn’t make it true. There are people who love you and want you in their lives. You are not a burden. And most importantly, God loves you. (Isaiah 54:10)
You have been blessed. I get it; sometimes parenthood is hard! And there are journeys some of us face in parenthood that we would never wish on anyone…but children are a blessing from the Lord. The Word gives no qualifiers for this because all children are blessings. (Psalm127:3)
You are supernaturally gifted. God has given you a host of talents and abilities that are beautiful and necessary not just for your family, but for his Church. If you don’t know what these gifts and talents are, I encourage you to search them out because you HAVE been given them. (Romans 12)
You are capable of this, for He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
You have a community behind you. Even if you don’t have a church home—which I encourage you to find—there is an entire community out here to whom you can reach out. The special needs parents’ online community is incredible. We are very blessed. Remember, we need each other. That is why the Word says not to forsake gathering together. (Hebrews 10:25)
I encourage you to journal in the hard seasons. Tell God what is amazing and what is hard. Ask Him to answer your much-needed prayers and watch Him work. In doing this faithfully, you will find more reasons to be thankful – at least that’s what I have experienced.
I desperately don’t want to be dismissive of the stress and great hardship we face at times.
Special-needs parenting is no joke. I know because I am a special-needs mom. I live with disabilities of my own—including but not limited to—neurodivergence, mental illness, and chronic pain. It’s hard sometimes. I want you to know if you’re in a season where it feels like your soul is crushed, you can without a doubt cry out to God. The same God we thank for the blessings holds us in the hard times, the same way you hold your babies when they hurt. If you’re going through a hard season, I encourage you to cast your anxieties, depression, doubt, and fear on the Lord—for He cares for you. And even in the worst seasons, try to find something to hold onto that you know is a blessing, it will serve as an anchor to your weary soul.
Joanna French is the special needs pastor at Flint Hills Church, Junction City, KS. Joanna and her husband Jairmie have two boys with autism. In 2017, Joanna started Flint Hills Embrace, with the goal to make Flint Hills Church a place where everyone belongs. Why? Because we all have a place in God's plan.
