I am disabled. I am high functioning, but it is still true. My neurodivergence and trauma mingle with my autoimmune condition and make me uniquely disabled.
About a year ago, I called one of my friends in tears, just needing help. I cried to her about what I needed. Feeling terrible, I didn’t just finish there. Instead, the conversation devolved into a panic attack which ended with the following two statements:
“When are you going to get so tired of me needing you that you just walk away? When are you going to say, ‘She’s too much work,’ and be done? I wouldn’t blame you if you were just done. I am a lot.”
Her response was one of the most profound affirmations I have ever received. She said “I know you need me. I know you’re disabled and you need me. But here is the thing, I need you too. Who else am I going to call when my husband’s PTSD is bad and I don’t know how to help? Who else am I going to have 12AM theological conversations with? Who else is going to call me, at random, just to tell me how much she loves me? Normal people don’t do that. I don’t need normal, or easy. I need my friend, and I don’t just need you, I want you.”
God brought this conversation back to my mind today as I was praying over what to write in this article. He reminded me how we as the church need each other. You see, God made us all wonderfully handicapped. Hear me out, okay? We all have an innate need for others. None of us by ourselves is enough. I need my friend, she needs me.
Faith requires being willing to lean on others’ wisdom, giftings, and insights—not to just grow, but to be healthy. We depend on each other. So, my question to us all is this: why do we let the fact that someone is disabled keep us from learning from them, growing with them, and celebrating their wisdom? Are we really better off without them?
In 1 Corinthians 12:12-26, we see a parallel drawn between the church and a body. In short, Paul—through the Holy Spirit—says, “You need each other—you cannot do this alone.” This is still true. We need each other, and yes, we even need friends with disabilities and mental illness. That’s biblical; just look:
“The eye cannot say to the hand ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ On the contrary those parts of the body that seem weaker are indispensable.”
Indispensable is defined as absolutely necessary or essential. So those of us who seem weaker are important, which begs these questions:
o What essential functions is the church not completing?
o How do we push past our prejudices and learn from those who seem weaker?
o How do we reach those who are lost and/or alone?
Photo credit: DisabilityIsBeautiful.com
Let me try to answer these quickly:
What essential functions is the church not completing?
To start, we are not sharing the Gospel with everyone, but mostly just with those who look like us. It’s human nature to surround ourselves with those who make us feel comfortable. That is completely normal! It’s also completely not what God has for us. I am not saying you should do things morally wrong. I am saying it is contrary to God’s heart for us to live in holy huddles of safe sameness, while there are people out there struggling! We must start sharing our faith both boldly and creatively.
How do we push past our prejudices and learn from those who seem weaker?
This starts by recognizing that we are all weak. In one way or another, we are all not enough. It is hubris to think just because we don’t have glaring disabilities that we don’t need those who do. It’s pride.
Human nature is to compare ourselves to others. “Well, at least I am not ___ like ____ is.” Comparisons lull us into a false sense of being better than others. We must combat that tendency not just in the physical world but spiritually. We have to pray to learn all we can from everyone, and to see others the way God sees them—even and especially those with disabilities.
Please notice the scripture says they seem weaker. Not that they are. From our view, they may look like they are just a little less than us. I assure you that they are not. The disabled and the mentally ill have much to teach us, if we would just be open to the lesson. It’s a heart issue though, and must be dealt with at the source. The only one who can change our hearts is God, so prayer is invaluable.
How do we reach those who are lost and/or alone?
It starts by seeing them. This is a community that has been—at large—burned by the church. You have to see people with disabilities, and you must be consistent. Create spaces for them to be successful. Create spaces for them to thrive. Create areas of belonging for their caregivers, as well as those with disabilities. They will come.
As much as they need you—and they do—you need them, too. Go where they are and just be their friend. Attend Special Olympics events. Hold a respite. Talk openly about disability from the pulpit, and not in an arrogant way. Value them! I phrased this question intentionally, by the way. Not all people without a church home are lost, but if they don’t have a church home and have Jesus, they are alone. They need a place to belong. They need you, and you need them.
We are dependent on each other in the body of Christ. We need each other, but may we reach the point that we don’t just need each other, we want each other, too. Because that interdependence represents my Jesus the best.
Joanna French is the special needs pastor at Flint Hills Church, Junction City, KS. Joanna and her husband Jairmie have two boys with autism. In 2017, Joanna started Flint Hills Embrace, with the goal to make Flint Hills Church a place where everyone belongs. Why? Because we all have a place in God's plan.
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