Sandra Peoples grew up with a sister with Down syndrome and now has a teenager with level 3 autism, so she knows how different the holidays can feel for a family like hers. But they don't have to feel different at church! With a few steps of consideration, she shares how families can feel included and valued. Let's make sure special-needs families can hear the message of hope this Christmas!
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Hi friends, I'm Sandra Peoples, one of your cohosts for Key Ministry: The Podcast. This is episode 29, and today we're talking about how to include special needs families in your church's Christmas activities. I grew up with a sister with Down syndrome and now have a teenager with level 3 autism, so I know how different the holidays can feel for a family like mine. But we don't have to feel different at church! With a few steps of consideration, we can feel included and valued. And we can experience the message of hope—the light of Christ that shines into our darkness.
I serve as the special needs ministry consultant for the Southern Baptist of Texas Convention, and when I sit down with a church to talk about how they are welcoming families, we envision where the families currently are and where we want them to be.
Are they in the lobby of the church or staying home, unsure if they are welcome?
Are they in classrooms for discipleship?
Are they in the sanctuary or worship center, participating in the service?
Are they welcome in church member’s homes for fellowship and friendship?
And are they empowered and equipped to serve with their gifts?
We want special needs families to have full access to opportunities just like every other family has. Many churches get them in the door and have classes for the members of the family with a disability, but those classes can look more like babysitting than they do like discipleship. And it's even rarer that a family like mine has the opportunity to attend and enjoy everything the church offers, especially at Christmas time.
As church leaders, we have two opportunities to make sure special-needs families are included: we can take steps to make families feel welcome and comfortable in our services and celebrations, and we can offer activities especially designed with their needs in mind. I think a both/and approach is ideal, but this can take some prayer and planning. So as you listen to the ideas I'm sharing today, think of steps you can take this year, but also plan ahead for next year so you can keep expanding and including more families!
First, let's talk about steps to make families feel welcome in whole-church activities:
1. Buddy bags in the lobby - We borrowed the idea from podcast co-host Beth Golik to have buddy bags and noise-reducing headphones in the lobby available for anyone who needs them. There's a tag that says: “Feeling fidgety or having sensory overload? Grab a bag on the way in to help!” On the way out, there's a basket where they can put the bags so we can clean the fidgets and headphones and make them available for the next service.
2. Child care available - Not everyone is comfortable in the service, even with sensory tools. If you have child care available for a certain age, like birth to five, consider also having a room open for kids with disabilities who would feel more comfortable there so their parents and siblings can still attend the service.
3. Social stories available that will explain how the services will be different—kids can get used to what services are like on a Sunday morning, but when they come on Christmas Eve, things may be different! Can you take pictures of the stage to show them the decoration or create a social story explaining the differences and email them to the parents to share with their kids ahead of time? It could really help decrease their anxiety! (Check out Awe & Wonder for a great social stories!)
4. Buddies with the kids in programs and performances—If the kids are performing special music or a skit, are the kids who usually have buddies included? (I hope so!) One way to help them feel more comfortable for the performance is to have their buddies close or even on stage with them. Let's help them feel as comfortable as possible on stage when we would all be a little extra nervous!
Now let's talk about activities designed specifically for families:
1. Respite night - A respite night in December is such a blessing for parents who need to go Christmas shopping or wrap gifts. There's still time to plan for a couple hours one weekend so they can have the opportunity!
2. Sensory-friendly service - Designing a service with people with disabilities in mind is fun for everyone who attends! Here in the Houston area, Houston's First Baptist has a special service, and lots of other churches do as well. If you're a small or medium-sized church, maybe you can work together with other churches in your area to offer a sensory-friendly service together that's open to the community.
3. Family pictures with Santa or a Christmas-themed backdrop - It is hard for my family to get good family pictures. It would be such a gift to have an opportunity for someone patient and easygoing to take pictures either at an event with Santa or even just in front of a Christmas-themed backdrop. This may be the simplest idea on the list since even the cameras on our phones can take great pictures. You could let families know that you'll open up the church lobby at a certain time so they can meet you there for pictures without them being rushed into a service or out the doors on the way home.
4. Advent devotional with activities - Families can feel like they are missing out on what other families are able to do during the holidays. But they don't have to miss out on doing Advent devotionals together! My friend Elaina Marchenko, who grew up with two sisters with disabilities, has written an advent devotional with Scripture readings and activity ideas. Use them once a week or for the days leading up to Christmas after school is out!
Thanks so much for listening and hopefully getting some ideas for helping families like mine have access to everything your church offers, even at Christmas time!
