For this week’s podcast episode (094) we are re-running a great episode by Lamar Hardwick. In episode 004 of Key Ministry the Podcast, Lamar Hardwick examines how our theology influences disability ministry and how the experience of disability influences our understanding of God, faith, and life. We will talk about how understanding disability doesn’t begin with having all the right answers, but how understanding disability requires that we ask the right questions.
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Before we get started, let me take some time to answer your questions about me. Most people know me online as “the Autism Pastor”, and that’s because in 2014 after years of struggling with social anxiety, sensory processing, and many other invisible challenges, I was diagnosed with autism.
Following my diagnoses, I begin to write and blog about my experiences and one day I received a message from a mother of a child with autism who encouraged me to keep writing and keep serving because I was in her words “The pastor for many in the autism community because they often did not feel welcome in their local church. I changed my social media handles to autism pastor because it made it easier for people to find me, especially if they needed prayer or encouragement.
I am a husband, father of three boys, and I am the lead pastor of Tri-Cities Church located in Atlanta, GA. In addition to being a pastor, I am an author and scholar, writing about disability, theology, faith, and how the church can become more loving and inclusive of those in the disability community. But most of all, I love to ask questions.
Facing life with a disability can be a daunting task. When I was first diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, I was both relieved and remorseful all within the same moment. I was diagnosed at age 36 so I was relieved because my diagnosis helped to answer some very puzzling questions about me, my behavior, and my challenge of social skills, body language, facial expressions, and social anxiety. On the other hand, I felt remorse because I had a sense of guilt over all the relationships, I felt I had ruined over the years because I had inadvertently offended someone.
A diagnosis of any kind always comes with questions. What does that mean? How did I get it? Is it fatal? Is there a cure? From common colds to cancer one thing is certain, being diagnosed with anything usually comes with far more questions than answers. Being diagnosed with autism is no different; in fact, it may actually cause an even greater line of questioning because as far as we know there are no known causes or cures for autism.
Knowing that there is neither a cause nor a cure for something creates curiosity. I often have many questions about my own life as a result of my diagnosis and as if my questions aren’t enough to deal with, I also have to deal with the questions and curiosity of others. Normally I welcome questions about autism. As an autism self-advocate, I am prepared to handle serious questions about how autism impacts my life. Then there are the questions I receive as a pastor that at times take my advocacy in an entirely different direction.
“Why was I born with autism?” Believe it or not, I get this question a lot. Whether the question is from another person diagnosed with autism, or someone wanting to know why I believe I was personally born with autism, the question is one that raises the issue of faith and at the same time it wrestles with the question about the future.
Honestly, I understand the heart behind this question because it can be difficult very difficult to live in a world that isn’t always affirming of those with autism or any disability for that matter. People have questions about the cause of your “limitation” and even more questions about the possibility of curing whatever they believe is wrong with you. It’s hard not to be affected by the curiosity and questions of well-meaning people.
One of my favorite Bible stories illustrates just why this issue is so complicated. But what’s beautiful about this story is that Jesus doesn’t avoid the questions, instead he asks an even better question.
“As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man who had been blind from birth. ‘Rabbi,’ his disciples asked him, ‘why was this man born blind? Was it because of his own sins of his parents’ sins?’ ‘It was no because of his sins or his parents’ sins,’ Jesus answered.’ ‘This happened so the power of God could be seen in him’.” John 9:1-2 NLT)
When it comes to understanding life, faith, and God questions are necessary, but what Jesus shows us in this story is that what’s most important is learning to ask the right questions. Like many of us the disciples wanted to know why the man was born with a physical limitation. Why was he born blind? What was the source for his disability?
I wish we could be shocked by the question, but in reality, the question the disciples ask isn’t all that shocking because historically speaking, many people believed that congenital disability, or being born disabled, was a direct result of sin. Although this is a very common historical and theological view of disability, the sad news is that there are still many people today that still believe that people with disabilities are disabled because of their sin.
So, when we listen to Jesus answer his followers, we aren’t just eavesdropping on a conversation between Jesus and his followers. We also get to hear Jesus enter into a conversation with historical views about disability.
The question is ultimately about why the man cannot see, but Jesus redirects the conversation away from defining the man by his deficits and he directs the conversation toward defining the man by his destiny.
Jesus has a simple response. It was no one’s fault that the man could not see, but the value of his life will be determined not by his lack of sight but by how the power of God would be seen in him.
In other words the best question is not “Why can’t this man see?” but rather “How can God be seen?”
In the face of what seems to be a life limiting disability, the better question is not “Why was I born this way?” but “Why was I born?”
The last several years of my life have been a journey toward both self-discovery and self-advocacy and as I have slowly stepped out of the shadows, I am continually gaining the confidence to add my voice to the valuable discussion about disability in communities of faith.
This is why I was born. This is why we were all born. Like Paul and his mysterious “thorn” I am learning that God often uses the platform of our what others may see as weakness to show his strength. The reason I have become more confident in sharing my struggles as a person with a disability is because when the world can see what I am up against, they can clearly see what God is up to.
God is seen working in my life with social anxiety and sensory processing challenges. God is seen when I face obstacles, challenges, and stereotypes. God is seen when I am inspired to share my struggles in hopes that it will inspire others to never give up.
Life is a precious gift and God is the giver. If you or someone you love lives with a disability then know that no matter how many ways that life’s circumstances or society wants to restrict you from feeling “normal” remember that Jesus doesn’t question your value, instead Jesus brings attention to the fact that God is seen in you.
Thank you for listening to today’s episode of Key Ministry The Podcast. I want to invite and encourage you to hit the subscribe button so you never miss an episode, and to leave a 5 star rating and review and most of all be sure to share with a friend.
Lamar Hardwick will be speaking at our Disability & the Church 2024 Conference! Go to www.keyministry.org/datc2024 to register now and hear from him!
