This morning I noticed a boxer dog looking very playful and relaxed. I went back 55 years in my mind to when we had a boxer. He was a lovely dog and was relaxed with the family. However he was often on high alert when out, and some dogs seemed very wary of him.
When we got the dog, I was mortified to see that his tail had been docked. I thought it was so cruel to cut off a puppy’s tail. It was not until more recently that I realized that it was not just a tail that was cut off, but the dog’s means of communication with other dogs. My dog, when meeting other dogs, would wag his stump to show other dogs that he wanted to be friendly, but they didn’t notice it. They couldn’t see his tail and therefore they did not pick up what he was trying to communicate with them.
Since that time, boxers usually get to keep their tails and the difference I have noticed is that they are calmer, happier and can socialize freely with other dogs.
Communication is so important for dogs. It is paramount for human beings!
We human beings are created in the image of a God who “is love.” He is a relational God who communicates with us. He commands us to love Him and love each other. He wants us to be in good relationship Him and with others. This obviously involves communication.
There are some people, however, who find communication difficult due to various disabilities. This is sometimes due to the fact that we expect everyone to communicate in the usual way, through speech.
Some children and adults with disabilities find it difficult or even impossible to communicate through speech. They may find speech difficult to understand, or they might find it difficult to express themselves through speech. This does not mean that they don’t want to communicate with others. It does not mean that they don’t have skills and abilities.
Photo credit: Amber Turner on Unsplash.com.
The story of Joey Deacon is a good example of this:
“Joey was committed to institutional care in 1928, certified, in the language of the day as ‘a chronic and harmless lunatic, idiot or imbecile such as might lawfully be detained in an institution.’ The certification documents mention his inability to speak or feed himself and his lack of control over his movements. The certifying doctor formed the opinion that ‘he is an imbecile, cannot answer any questions but seems able to understand what is said’.” Source: Joey Deacon: a suitable case for labelling?
“Joey Deacon had cerebral palsy and was not an imbecile, a medical term used in those days to describe someone with moderate to severe learning disability. It was only when a friend of Joey’s who lived in the same institution was able to interpret what Joey was saying that it was discovered that Joey had the mental capacity to write his autobiography.” **
Do we give up on people because we find it difficult to communicate with them? Do we make assumptions about them? Do we back off from them because we feel awkward or because we do not understand them?
Churches are supposed to be places of acceptance and inclusion for all people. Yet sometimes, we too make assumptions. Sometimes we are too busy to give our time. We don’t make an effort to learn to listen or communicate. We sometimes unknowingly exclude those who find our ways of communicating difficult.
Imagine being like my boxer dog, trying to communicate with only a stump for a tail. We don’t have to be like the other dogs, warily backing off because we don’t understand. We are human beings who can learn new ways to communicate.
Ideally we need as many people in our churches to learn nonverbal methods of communication such as signing, symbols and use of technology. We need people who can take time to understand individuals who have their own unique method of communication.
Even when using speech, we can make adjustments to aid genuine communication. The following are ideas:
• Speak slowly and clearly.
• Speak in short sentences and phrases.
• Do not use sentences containing more than one piece of information.
• Only use words which you know the disabled person understands.
• Take time to explain technical words that are necessary to use.
• Give straightforward instructions.
• Give one instruction at a time.
• Do not use idioms unless you know they understand them.
• Do not use sarcasm.
• Look at the person when you are talking and give them your full attention.
• Accompany speech with signs or gestures.
• Accompany speech with objects, pictures or photographs.
• Accompany speech with written text.
• Give time for the disabled person to respond.
• Check the disabled person has understood correctly. Asking them to explain what you have said may help.
• Be aware of your body language and voice tone. According to Mencap the way people communicate is made up of body language (55%), tone of voice (38%) and words (7%).”
Jesus never seemed too busy to stop and communicate with individuals. We need to follow His example.
**Sue Sutton “Living fulfilled lives – empowering people with a learning disability” Sarah Grace Publishing 2018.
Sue Sutton has nearly 50 years of experience working with people with learning disabilities. She has developed training programs for people working with a variety of learning disabilities and mental health issues. Sue is the author of “Living Fulfilled Lives: Empowering People With Learning Disabilities.” Connect with her on Facebook.
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