This world is full of that self-care hooey-fooey talk for women these days. Warning: true talk coming. I don't know what planet you live on if you get self-care, but it's not mine.
Self-care looks a lot like waiting for that migraine med to kick in while fighting off the migraine gags, all while still caring for my kids. Yep, the same ones who have some heavy needs that didn't go away just because I got a migraine. Self-care is thanking God for that beautiful, numbing med.
Self-care most days is locking the bathroom door, having a good (while fast) cry, remembering there are women in this world who are carrying water jugs on their head for miles back to their family. Self-care is thanking God I have six jugs of water sitting in my kitchen right now to flush that Gtube (the same Gtube I have a love/hate relationship with), even if it is through blurry eyes in the middle of the night.
Self-care is coffee. "The lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions." #kickingandscreaming. Coffee on coffee after listening to your child cough all night from the things filling his lungs that will eventually take hold of his breathing and make decisions too hard for this momma to handle. Coffee with extra mocha noir almond milk is fueling the day after a brutal talk with a doctor who is giving up before this battle-worn, but not-done-yet mom. Hugh Jackman's coffee is self-care today.
When I finally give up me-first, when I'm in a puddle and my head won't shut up, the only self-care I know that truly works, is the Word of God. It is what is carrying me through today and everyday. "I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust" (Psalm 91:2 NIV). Fortress is a place of security, a stronghold, to support and protect. HE is our place of self-care.
All my attempts at self-care—my migraine medicine, crying in the closet, and that mocha almond milk coffee buzz—it's all hooey-fooey. They will only take me so far before I can't go anymore and I'm a blubbering mess 24/7. But if my self is found in Jesus first, he will care for me. He is my refuge and strength, my fortress. He is my place of self-care.
My husband and I are parents of all boys. One of whom is a young adult with both physical and intellectual disabilities. I don't always know what I'm doing as I parent these guys. But what I do know is God is teaching me big things through our trials that I probably would have never learned without them. You can find more from me at www.mostlyeandme.com, on Facebook, and on Twitter @mostlyeandme.
