How opportune to talk about being taxed in the month we have to pay our financial taxes. But another definition of being “taxed” is carrying a heavy burden. Have you felt that? Are you currently? In the journey of caring for one with special needs, there have been many moments, and sometimes months that have been difficult, as we carry the heavy burden of all that is required in 24/7 care.
Ways We are Taxed
We’ve recognized that special needs has waves that ebb and flow in different areas that make us feel like we’re taxed and overwhelmed. Things like:
Lack of sleep
Body fatigue and exhaustion
Compassion fatigue
Health care of one with special needs
Health care of us personally
Doctors, therapists, rehab appointments
Extended family care
Needing time alone
Needing to get recharged
Finances
_____________(name your own)
_____________(name your own)
Some Ways to Get A Break
While we can’t have everything all at once, it sure would be nice to experience rest, a normal work load, and plenty of personal free time, all at one time, just to see what it’s like! Because that is a very unlikely scenario, here are a few things we can do with the help of our spouse to get those moments of reprieve:
Alternate who “gets” to sleep in on the weekend
Alternate the load of running errands, preparing dinner, yard work, etc. so the brunt of chores won’t fall more on one person
Divide and conquer kids and their activities
Get away for an overnight together, or have everyone get away one time a year (more if you can afford the finances and time to get away). One night away won’t solve problems, but it can rejuvenate you and your marriage, and it will be a treat.
Perhaps you’re not married and feel you have no one to help you in the ways we just described. It will be important for you to pursue help from others, to give you a break from time to time. It might take time to get this kind of process to work well, but it’s worth the effort.
Will these ideas cure the feeling of being overloaded and taxed? Probably not 100% of the time, but it will give you some things to look forward to, so you can get back in the game of life and stay in the game for the long haul.
Making excuses for why some ideas won’t work is simply an excuse not to try. Don’t quit. Be creative, use trial and error, and find something that works, if even for a season. It’ll be worth the time and effort spent to give it a try.
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on family and special needs. They speak nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways, authored Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at www.cindiferrini.comand social media at: www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini, www.facebook.com/UnexpectedJourney/, www.facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters/
