We ran into a host of orange barrels
coming home from our third son’s birth.
Our daily route,
parenthood-by-the-book,
ended.
No detour sign in sight.
No big, black arrows
pointing the way forward.
Photo credit: Kathleen Bolduc.
We drove in circles
before pulling into a gas station
to ask for directions.
Funny, how gas station attendants,
even ones with Ph.D.’s,
don’t know the names of
side streets leading back
to well-traveled roads.
We got lost.
Really lost.
But we kept on driving,
taking turns,
two boys wrestling in the back,
incessantly asking,
“Are we there yet?"
Third boy repeating himself again and again,
“Starving. Starving. Starving. Starving.”
Twenty-four years later
we’re still driving back roads,
this time by choice.
We love the not-knowing nature
of these scenic byways –
the lush, green landscapes of prayer;
strangers who materialize out of mist
hitching rides straight into our hearts,
artist friends who make the invisible, visible,
saying, “Here. I hope this helps.”
The best part of all?
The Word become Flesh
riding right here beside us,
steering the car around orange barrels
like an Indy 500 driver.
Filled with praise there’s no room
for fear about details
like where we are going
or when we will arrive.
It’s time to sit back
and simply enjoy the ride.
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For those of you just starting the journey as a parent of a child with autism or any one of a myriad of other disabilities, I offer this poem as an encouragement to keep your eyes open for God's presence along the road. Yes, the detours are numerous, the roads bumpy, and the maps either nonexistent, outdated, or not specific enough for your family's configuration. But one truth is rock solid: The Lord is riding with you. And in those moments when you're able to take a deep breath and look around with eyes wide open, you will feel that presence deep in your bones.
Our road with Joel (who is now 35 years young) has led us to a contemplative retreat center outside of Oxford, Ohio. We've named it Cloudland. It has led me to being a spiritual director. It has led Joel to his own home, a self-directed day program and a rich social life with his church and the Best Buddies program at Miami University. We praise God for His faithfulness!
I recently stood at a fork in the road and had to make a hard decision: whether to keep contributing to this blog or to pursue writing about the contemplative journey. I don't seem to be able to do both along with retreat work and spiritual direction. And so it is with bittersweet emotions that I say farewell. This has been an awesome journey over the past 8 years. Over 70 blogs written. So many comments enjoyed and conversations begun. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and pray that your eyes will be opened to the incredible driver known as the Word become Flesh. He's riding beside you, and will help steer your car around whatever orange barrels litter your path. He's an awesome driver.
Alleluia!
Kathy is a spiritual director, author, and co-owner, with her husband, of Cloudland, a contemplative retreat center outside of Oxford, Ohio. The mother of 3 sons, 1 daughter-of-heart, and 1 grandson, she also enjoys writing middle grade fiction. You can reach her through her website, kathleenbolduc.com.
