I’ve felt especially inadequate contemplating today’s blog post. As we wrap up a year where every single one of us faced unbelievable challenges, I cannot think of one thing to write as an “expert” or “advice giver” that would remotely respond to the question of how to make 2021 better than 2020.
I started by examining what went wrong in 2020. Not the obvious answers of what went wrong in our world, but what went wrong in me. The trouble with 2020 was that it threw me off my game. So many things took me completely out of my routine, my comfort zone, and laid waste to my areas of expertise in the special needs mom arena. As I look to the coming year, I know now that there is one thing I need to do better, in order to make the year better: REMAIN.
I recently spent some time in the book of John and read anew the verses where Jesus asks us to remain in Him. In John 15:4, Jesus says, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” As the waves of 2020 crashed against me, they tossed me out of my remaining posture. Time and again I found myself worried, questioning, and lamenting outside of the vine where I was to remain.
How do we know we aren’t remaining in Him? John 15:11 explains, “I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”
Photo credit: Design Beast on Lightstock.com.
What does that mean for my special needs mom life in 2021? It means that I’m going to build in a lot more “pauses.” School closes again? Pause, read, pray, remain In Him. Illness of a loved one? Pause, read, pray, remain In Him. Difficult new diagnosis or behavior? Pause, read, pray, remain In Him. Challenges within and around our family? Pause, read, pray, remain In Him.
That may sound a bit too spiritualized with no practical application, but I beg to differ. This year I found myself speaking things I should’ve never spoken. Thinking thoughts I shouldn’t have thought. Harboring anger, disappointment and fear that had no place in my heart. Each of these things caused me to act in a way that I didn’t want to act, to make decisions I later regretted. So a very practical, daily application for my 2021 will be to wake up and intentionally choose to Remain in Him throughout the day, come what may. Putting His presence first will change my focus and actions throughout the day and year. Remaining in Jesus’ commands will, as He points out in John 15: 10, cause us to remain in His love. That’s the sweet spot. In His love I can endure and overcome whatever situation life throws at me. I can keep my joy and my peace when all around me is in chaos.
The personal benefit to remaining is clear and obvious, but the benefit goes beyond self for a special needs parent. It’s not just about my survival. It’s about the fact that my son, though he is 20 years old, has a vital need for a mom who remains in the love of Jesus. His understanding of 2021 will be absolutely based on how his momma interprets it for him.
I pray that your 2021 and mine will be far better than we can hope or imagine. And I pray that no matter what it looks like, we can remain in the vine that gives us life, joy and peace. If you don’t have a reading plan yet, I suggest you start the new year in the book of John, reminding yourself where you need to remain for every one of the 365 days of 2021.
Follow Melanie Gomez at https://redefinespecial.com and on Facebook.
