2020 was a traumatic year for a lot of us—a year when plans fell apart, certainties became uncertain, and many of us transitioned into new roles we didn’t expect or want. With the uncertainty and transitions came feelings of stress, confusion and even anxiety. And for those of us who parent children with special needs, these feelings were likely magnified. Because so much effort and planning goes into creating the routines and structure that enable our children and families to function well, seeing these things disintegrate may have felt almost catastrophic.
So, how do we, as special needs parents regain our footing so we can move forward with a renewed sense of clarity and peace? As I ask myself this question, I’m reminded of another season in my life when I felt desperate for clarity of direction and purpose. It was a time when what used to work was no longer working; things, roles and responsibilities were shifting and I knew I needed help adjusting.
After I’d spent a long while seeking answers, the Lord directed me to a Scripture I had known almost all my Christian life—a Scripture I’d automatically recited so many times that its familiarity had dulled my senses to its meaning:
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6”
Even though I knew the Scripture, I had catalogued it in my mind as an add-on to the more often cited preceding verse, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding...”. As a result, I had never really taken the time to consider the fullness of its meaning. So for the first time, as the Lord brought it (verse 6) to my remembrance, I decided to take a closer look at what this portion of Scripture had to say about my situation. This is what I learned:
1 - As used here, “acknowledge” (Hebrew word Yada) means to know intimately, perceive, understand, discern, to inform. It signifies a person’s relationship to the true God; it means to recognize His Lordship. Unlike the casual ways we are sometimes tempted to acknowledge God—you know, the spiritual head nod we make in God’s direction as we go about doing our own thing—this recognizes God’s right to have intimate involvement in our lives, up close, invited, and personal. And as Lord.
2 - The Scripture exhorts us to have this attitude about God “in all our ways” (Hebrew word Derek). In every course of our lives, in all our actions and behavior, in every circumstance, on every path and journey, whatever our lot in life, we need to acknowledge God’s lordship. We are to give Him open access as Lord over ALL our ways.
3 - And, as we do so, He promises to “make straight” (Yasar in Hebrew) our paths. He makes our paths level (not bumpy or uneven or riddled with potholes), He makes them plain (sounds like clarity to me), He makes them upright and lawful, He makes them approved (in His will versus not), and He makes them pleasing (to Him and us).
4 - Importantly, the word translated “paths” in this Scripture (Orah in Hebrew) is used figuratively to denote the reality that there can be a right choice that leads to righteousness or a wrong choice that leads to wickedness. (“There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12). As we acknowledge God appropriately, He helps us choose rightly. He directs us to the paths that lead to life and away from those that lead to death. He knows the plans He has for us—plans that have not been thwarted by a pandemic or civil unrest—and He directs us to the paths that lead to His plans.
So, where did all this deeper understanding of Proverbs 3:6 leave me? Well, as God had done with me in the past, He used a simple, familiar Scripture to restore my focus back to Him. He brought me back to a renewed commitment to do what verse 5 says—to trust in the LORD with all my heart, even when—especially when—my heart was struggling.
Nothing new here, right? Focusing on God, trusting Him as Lord to lead and guide—I knew all that. Something so basic and yet, without realizing it, I had let my focus drift from Him to the circumstances around me and the confusion within me. But thankfully, God was there to redirect my attention back to Him.
Photo credit: Joel Muniz on Unsplash.com.
And He is here now to do the same thing...again:
He’s here to remind me—and you—that His plans and purposes for us have not been displaced or disabled by the upheaval we are seeing or experiencing.
He Who knows the end from the beginning is not feeling overwhelmed or uncertain about what’s coming next or what to do.
He’s still the ONE who has all wisdom and will give it to us if we just ask.
He’s still the ONE whose Power is greater than fear.
He’s still the ONE who strengthens and helps us by ALWAYS being with us.
So I’m choosing to trade my confusion and frustration for His Truth and His assurance. Through the unrest I was feeling, He has reminded me AGAIN to turn my focus back to Him. So, that’s what I’m doing...again.
Will it be easy? No.
Will I have to be reminded AGAIN? Probably. Thank You, LORD, in advance for doing so.
But TODAY I CHOOSE to focus on Him.
Will you join me?
Sandy, who lives in New Jersey, is a wife to Terry and mom to 3 young adult children. Twenty years ago, after her son was diagnosed with multiple disabilities, Sandy also became his full time caregiver and advocate.
Sandy knows from experience how living in the world of special needs or disabilities can lead some to adopt what she calls a “disabled life” mindset: a mindset that focuses on limitations and settles for less life, less joy, less fulfillment. As a Certified Professional Coach her passion is to empower other special needs parents to see that they can choose purposeful, joy-filled lives; and, they can lead their families to do the same.
You can learn more about Sandy, her work and her blog at www.UNDisabledLIVES.org.
