A few years ago Hurricane Harvey hit our area. As I watched the newscasts from the coast, I noticed the palm trees bending as the wind whipped by, gusting well over 100 miles per hour. They bent, but they didn’t break. Why? Because God created them to be flexible. I don’t want to break this Christmas season, so I will remember the palm tree and be flexible when it’s best for my family.
Christmas break can feel like a hurricane of activity and stress. I don’t want to break this Christmas season, so I will remember the palm tree and be flexible when the hurricane is gusting around me.
As we plan ahead for Christmas, we can anticipate the challenges we will face. For my son who has profound autism, being out of his routine and dealing with sensory issues are our biggest issues.
Even though Christmas break is just two weeks, those two weeks are packed with extra church services and family activities. No day is exactly like the one before, and for our kids who thrive on routine, this can be really hard. Here are some ideas that have helped:
We use “first, then” throughout the day. “First we’ll eat breakfast, then you can get on your iPad,” or “First we’ll go to church, then we’ll go to Grandma’s house and open presents.” It helps James to know what’s coming next.
Make a visual schedule. This was so helpful for us over summer break! I printed out pictures of him doing most of the activities we did in a week. Then I put them on a dry-erase board in order of our day. Even small things like “read books” and “rest time” were on the board. That way he knew what to expect for the entire day.
Use a timer. For James we use a visual timer so he can see how much time is left until the next activity. For our older son David (who is typical, but also thrives on routine and doesn’t like being surprised), we can just give him a count down, “You have 10 more minutes on the X-box and then it’s time for lunch.”
Another cause of stress over the Christmas break is sensory issues. One of my favorite Christmas books when I was growing up was The Sweet Smell of Christmas, a scented story book. You could scratch and sniff a pine tree, an orange, hot chocolate, and a candy cane. But when I bought it for my own boys, they reacted to it differently than I did over thirty years ago. David wrinkled his nose, “Too smelly!” he said and didn’t want to open it again. James loved the smells, and carried it around, scratching the smelly spots in the book until there wasn’t anything left to smell.
When I observed my sensory avoider and my sensory seeker reading that book, it helped me realize all the sensory experiences Christmas brings. Think of the changes in temperature, which also bring changes to the clothes your kids have to wear—shoes and sock or maybe itchy hats or scarves. And the lights you put on the tree and around the outside of the house that twinkle. And the extra noise of Christmas songs we love to play this time of year even if your home is normally quieter. And the smells of cookies baking or apple cider simmering. All these details are what makes Christmas feel like Christmas to most of us, but our kids can be overwhelmed by the changes.
When we’re out of school for breaks, we plan a “sensory diet” to make sure James is getting his sensory needs met. He’s mostly a sensory seeker, but he has some big avoidances as well. I hope these ideas help your family:
For sensory seekers:
We get outside. Even if you live in a cooler climate, it’s still good for our kids to spend time outside. We go for a family hike through a state park in Houston. If it’s especially warm like it was last Christmas, we may go to the beach. We especially love when we can find swings to help his vestibular regulation.
We meet the needs before they become an issue. James puts non-food items in his mouth, and it’s worse this time of year with Christmas ornaments that look like food and different textures, like tinsel. We offer him lots of crunchy foods like apples and carrots so he works those mouth muscles and gets sensory input. We also have chew tubes for times he needs them.
We work out those big and little muscle groups. We have a little trampoline in the house for jumping. We wrap James up tight like a burrito in his blanket (head out of course). He gets lots and lots of tickles. We also play with Play-Doh and zoom cars around the floor so he works out all his muscles.
For sensory avoiders:
We calm down our home environment so even if we spend time at a relative’s house or at church where it looks very different than usual, he can come home and feel comfortable. We still have a tree, but the lights are soft white and they don’t twinkle.
We use noise reducing headphones for places we know will be loud, like restaurants or stores.
We created a quiet area. Well, honestly, James created it for himself. At school they converted a closet (that doesn’t lock) into a safe and soft place for the kids to go when they feel overwhelmed. We noticed James kept dragging blankets and stuffed animals into our closet when he wanted some quiet time. We have made it comfortable for him and we let him hang out in there when he needs to.
I hope these practical ideas help your family like they have mine! Let me share a prayer for my family and for yours:
God, Christmas is a time of celebration, but it is also can be a time of stress. Please help us manage the stress so we can focus on the celebration. We know the night Jesus was born wasn’t as silent as the songs make us think. He became a man so he could be God with us. Be with us now God as we help our children be as calm and comfortable as possible. In Jesus’s name, amen.
Sandra Peoples (M Div) is a special-needs mom and sibling. She and her family live outside of Houston, TX where she serves her church as the Inclusion Coordinator for Special Needs Families. She is also the Special Needs Ministry Consultant for the Southern Baptist of Texas Convention. She’s the author of Unexpected Blessings: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special-Needs Family and cohost of the podcast, Self Care and Soul Care for the Caregiver. You can connect with her at sandrapeoples.com.
