What caregiving is teaching me about writing fiction could fill a book. If someone had tried to tell me, when I was a kid emptying my dad's urinal and operating his Hoyer Lift, that caregiving and writing have a lot in common, I wouldn't have believed it. Nor would I have believed it as a young mom caring for our medically-fragile baby. But as my mother's health continues to decline and deadlines for my mystery series are looming, I can't ignore the similarities between the two.
Writing may or may not be part of God's plan for your future. However, I know He has something in store for your future, and He's using your life as a caregiver to prepare you for it. Maybe He'll also use these four lessons caregiving is teaching me about writing fiction to prepare you for whatever lies ahead in your life.
#1: Planning Is Important
As caregivers, we devote portions of our days to planning. We schedule appointments, check to see that the car is gassed up, and investigate special needs trusts long before our kids turn 18. Had this skill been put to use when I began working on my first mystery novel, maybe it wouldn't have taken me 10 years to finish it. Thanks to my daughter, who showed me a method she created for plot planning, the second mystery was done in a year.
#2: Surprises Happen Despite our Plans
Caregivers can plan and plan and plan, and things will still surprise us, right? To weather bad surprises, we lean into them and keep going. The best surprises bring us joy and delight. I've found the same to be true when writing. Ideas I thought would work spectacularly went nowhere. All I could do was delete and start over. Unplanned funny characters pop up, take over scenes, and become reader favorites.
#3: Attend to Details at the Right Time
Sometimes, especially when caregivers are stressed and anxious, we tend to over plan. It makes us feel like we're in control. However, a focus on details about how to handle your child's transition home when she'll be in the hospital for a few more weeks is an exercise in futility because those details will likely change. Instead, a focus on the details for today and tomorrow is more likely to result in positive action. It's like making sure every sentence of a first draft of a book is perfect. Chances are, most sentences will change future drafts and the punctuation will, too. First drafts are for getting the story on paper. Perfect punctuation can wait until later.
#4: You Need Someone to Talk To
Our duties as caregivers can be isolating. We begin to perceive ourselves as a committee of one. That's not good for us or the loved ones in our care. We need someone to talk to. Prayer is a good place to start, but the writer of Ecclesiastes says that a chord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). In other words, people need divine and human support. We need people in our lives who will encourage us when we're down, people to bounce ideas off of, people who can share their different perspectives and help us see more clearly. This caregiving lesson reminds me to talk to someone when I'm dealing with writer's block, or a scene is falling flat. Doing so leads to fresh ideas and renewed desire to write.
The creativity and economy of God is a constant source of amazement to me. Who but God can use endeavors as different as caregiving and writing to increase my ability to do both? If He can do it for me, He can do it for you.
I invite you to experience God's attention to your situation by completing the following sentence.
How is God using caregiving to teach me about ____________________ in my life.
Now, take a few minutes to reflect on lessons you've learned as a caregiver that apply to what you wrote in the blank.
Finally, be prepared to be amazed at what God has taught you already, and how He may use it in the future.
Jolene Philo is the author of several books for the caregivng community. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon. See Jane Run!, the first book in the West River cozy mystery series will be released in June of 2022.
Register now!
