You can pour from an empty cup. Some will differ with me. I will stick to it because I have lived it and perhaps YOU have as well.
What do we do with an empty cup? We fill it when we need to drink from it. It’s upon need.
Like the tension on a piece of elastic, we can handle a lot of tension and frustration for a long time; but at some point, something must give. And then we ride the road to weary. Weary happens when one cares for another full time (24/7) and there is often little to no time for the caregiver to care about themselves. The demand comes in second place and when it might come up for first place, another demand comes that trumps the caregivers time for self.
Image from @hudsoncrafted on Unsplash
Interesting that we sometimes know what we need to do but often believe we can’t slow down enough to take care of our own needs. Or we simply fail to see the need until something stops us. What might stop us? Perhaps some of the following:
The marital relationship is falling apart.
The children are showing signs of rebellion.
We are having health issues due to lack of sleep, eating improperly, etc.
We are having disagreements with others.
Realizing “I can’t do it all.”
The solution to this “empty cup” is: to fill it. How that will happen is often going to take time, sometimes using creativity, and always being intentional, purposeful, and direct. Here are a few ways that might help you think and consider how you can make it happen for yourself:
Share with others your need. Perhaps some will offer you help, time, etc. Don’t “expect it” but, you won’t know unless you try.
Seeking the Lord in prayer and asking Him for direction.
Reading God’s word – Proverbs is always a good start. Read one per day.
Realizing we can’t control others, but we can control ourselves-then plan.
Start to discipline yourself to find the time. You might find it in a 10-minute nap; sneaking in a visit to a store you find fun while running other “needed errands”; delegating things to others; bartering services (I’ll cook for you if you wash my windows), etc.
Sit outside on a nice day. Put your phone and books away. Just sit. Take it in. Listen to the birds and the breeze and just be.
Don’t give up. Keep trying.
Sometimes filling my cup happens on purpose (mostly) and sometimes the moments just happen, but for both I need to recognize it and then be content in it. Smiling more and being thankful are easy ways to fill our own cup! Try a few of these ideas and see what works. Keep trying. Fill your cup!
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey (order at www.cindiferrini.com). They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs. They spoke nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways for 20 years, authored *Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Janet Parshall at “In the Market”, and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at: www.cindiferrini.com
and via social media at:
www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini
