“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,’ even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”
A Complicated Recipe
Challenging circumstances. Grief. Chronic stress. Isolation. Financial burdens. Strained relationships. Lack of time for self-care. Traumatic events. Take any combination of these factors, and it’s not surprising that mental health decline may be the result. Then add in the ingredients of faith doubts, confusion, bitterness, and even anger, and you may find a person suffering in spiritual darkness.
When my pregnancy with my second child turned high-risk, I grieved the loss of a joyful, healthy pregnancy. Then, I learned that my daughter would be born with a different and more severe genetic disorder than my son’s. This news devastated me. I became angry with God. Why couldn’t I just have a healthy baby? How could God be good and steal this blessing from me—twice? And worse—how could God be good and allow my daughter to suffer like this?
By a miracle, Bethany Grace survived fetal distress and the emergency cesarean section. But my joy faded as I began to experience debilitating symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. Bringing my daughter home from the neonatal intensive care unit three months later, I lived in a constant state of stress and hypervigilance. She often went into serious condition, needing to be rushed back to the hospital. The developmental complications and care demands wore me down. The chronic stress changed my body chemistry, increasing my levels of stress hormones, compounding the problem.
In order to keep my daughter alive and advocate for her development, I stopped caring for my own physical, spiritual, and mental health, as well as my marriage. I had grown so distant and angry with God that I didn’t even want to go to church anymore. I had spiraled into deep depression. All these stressors erupted into a serious mental health crisis. I had waited sixteen months to seek professional help. By then it was too late. I made what should have been a lethal suicide attempt. Waking up in the intensive care unit four days later, from having lived on a ventilator, doctors could not explain how I had survived.
“Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.”
The Risk for Caregivers
My case was extreme, but is it that uncommon for caregivers to experience clinical mental health conditions? Studies show that parents caring for a child with special needs or disabilities have up to two times the risk for developing physical and mental health symptoms compared to parents caring for children without health or developmental special needs. We often experience stress, anxiety, anger, and depression at significantly higher levels than compared to the national average. To put it into perspective, the Centers for Disease Control reports that the combined national average for adults that experience mild to severe symptoms of depression is 18.5%. Whereas, up to 31% of parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities (IDD) reach the clinical cut-off score for moderate depression.[1] Traumatic experiences during pregnancy or with a child’s medical condition, as well as grief, can compound the risk for depression and anxiety. A 2021 Covid-19 pandemic study, in line with previous studies, found that approximately 20% of parents of children with severe illnesses met the criteria for post-traumatic stress disorder.[2] These statistics are significant.
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”
The Interconnection of Faith and Mental Health
Faith and mental health struggles are often interconnected. Studies show that parents of children with special needs are also at greater risk for experiencing faith struggles in addition to mental health conditions. But a healthy relationship with God has been found to improve mental health and is linked to stronger resilience when people are experiencing extreme stress. The opposite has also been shown. Avoidance of God has been linked to increased mental health symptoms.[3] One research study concluded that religious and spiritual struggles are “robust predictors of poor mental and physical health outcomes.”[4] When people who are experiencing significant stress turn to their faith to cope, they experience more positive psychological outcomes.[5] Faith in God gives us hope, which is the antithesis of depression.
“ He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.”
Photo credit: Marcel Strauss on Unsplash.com.
Rising Up Out of Hopelessness
Now, I am not saying by any means that just by having strong faith that mental health problems always improve. Sometimes they may. God may heal a person’s mental health through prayer and faith alone. But continued mental health disorders do not equal weakness or lack of faith. Mental health conditions are a physical illness that often also require professional psychiatric and psychological treatment. Strong stigma against seeking mental health treatment still exists in our society. The fact that mental health disorders are medical disorders is just now beginning to reach the awareness and acceptance of our country and the world. It is even more difficult for Christians to step out in courage to seek professional treatment due to their faith beliefs, the beliefs in their churches, and for fear of what others might think. As a result, fewer Christians seek professional mental health treatment and may have poorer mental health outcomes.[6]
Caregivers can experience waves of painful and mixed emotions. The chronic stress, loss, and grief can cause sadness, anxiety, and even a depressed mood. This response is expected. But it can be difficult to determine if the reaction is a typical response or a sign of a more serious mental health condition. When a person’s mood begins to negatively impact their daily functioning and quality of life and lasts longer than two weeks, then they need to assess for a more serious mental health condition. I pray that others do not wait to seek help like I did. Research shows that the earlier you seek treatment, the better the outcomes, especially when trauma is involved.
A person may live with their mental health symptoms long-term and never fully recover. Or God may guide them to recovery and healing through a therapist, physician, pastor, medications, speaking with others, and/or a caregiver support group. I can say from my experience of journeying through my spiritual despair and mental health crisis that it took all of the above to pull me out of my dark pit. I ultimately accepted that I do not know why God allowed our family to suffer. But now I can see that God’s presence and love was with me through it all. Embracing this mystery of faith lifted my soul and helped me rise up out of my depression. Our strength ultimately comes from relying on God for help, hope, and joy; through prayer and reciting promises in Scripture; and through worship and Christian community. God is the center and presence in our recovery and healing process.
Whether you or someone you know are managing typical caregiver stress or facing more serious mental health symptoms, I hope that you will find the support you need. I pray that God will fill you with hope and joy as you seek healing in your faith and mental health wholeness.
What practices do you believe are important for caregivers’ faith and mental health?
If you are in crisis or worried about your safety, call the national suicide prevention lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) or go to your nearest emergency room.
Resources
To learn more about your symptoms visit https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/my-mental-health-do-i-need-help
To find a mental health professional in your area https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
*The contents of this article are intended for informational purposes only and not a substitute for seeking professional mental health advice.
Guest blogger Kristin Faith Evans, MA, MS, LMSW is an author, a speaker, a Licensed Masters Social Worker, and a mother of two children with rare genetic disorders and complex needs. Her greatest passion is walking with others on their journeys to deeper faith and mental health wholeness. She has clinical experience in individual, couples and family, substance abuse, and crisis counseling. Kristin will be speaking at the One Word and Faith Inclusion Network C4A conferences this year and has written articles for Different Dream Living, The Joyful Life Magazine, Alive Now, and The Upper Room. She lives with her husband, Todd, and their two children in the Nashville, TN area. When she’s not enjoying life with her family, writing, or working with clients, you can find her training for triathlons, reading, or simply being out in nature. Follow Kristin at www.SpecialNeedsMomsBlog.com, on Instagram: @specialneedsmomsblog and @authorKristinEvans, LinkedIn: kristin-evans/, Twitter: @AuthorKristinEv and Facebook: kristin.evans.5895.
Footnotes and References
[1] Scherer, N., Verhey, I., & Kuper, H. (2019). Depression and Anxiety in Parents of Children with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. PLoS ONE, 1-18. Retrieved from https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0219888
[2] Corsi, M., Orsini, A., Pedrinelli, V., Santangel, A., Bertelloni, C. A., Carli, N., . . . Carmassi, C. (2021). PTSD in Parents of Children with Severe Diseases: A Systematic Review to Face Covid-19 Impact. Italian Journal of Pediatrics, 1-7. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1186/s13052-021-00957-1
[3] Keshavarz-Afshar, H., Sheikh, M., Karimian, A., & Ghahvehchi-Hosseini, F. (2016). Relationships Between Attachment to God and Marital Satisfaction and Mental Heath in Parents of Children with Special Needs. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 35-39.
[4] Grubbs, J. B., Wilt, J., Stauner, N., Exline, J. J., & Pargament, K. I. (2016). Self, Struggle, and Soul: Linking Personality, Self-Concept, and Religious/Spiritual Struggle. Personality and Individual Differences, 144-152.
[5] Ano, G. G., & Vasconcelles, E. B. (2005). Religious Coping and Psychological Adjustment to Stress: A Meta-Analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 461-480.
[6] McGuire, J. M., & Pace, A. C. (2018). Self-Stigma of Depression in Christians Versus the General Population. Mental Health, Religion, & Culture, 601-608.
Additional References
Brehaut, J. C., Guevremont, A., Arim, R., Garner, R. E., Miller, A. R., McGrail, K. M., . . . Kohen, D. E. (2019). Using Canadian Administrative Health Data to Examine the Health of Caregivers of Children With and Without Health Problems: A Demonstration of Feasibility. Retrieved from International Journal of Population Data Science: www.ijpds.org
Gajeton, K. L. (2015). Religious Coping and Spiritual Struggles in Parents of Children with Autism Specturm Disorder. Virginia Beach, VA: Regent University .
