Churches are wrestling with how they will return to their traditions with special care for the families in their midst who are impacted by disability. You are prayerfully wondering how best to adapt and transition to the post-quarantine era. Well, there may be less need to ‘just wonder’ than you think.
There is a powerful way, an effective way, to answer the question, “How should we handle this?”
The way is simple. The way might be hard sometimes. But the way is immersed in love and saturated with opportunity for ministry.
The way is this: just ask us.
You don’t need to adapt in the way the church down the street or at another website is adapting. You need to adapt according to what best ministers to the unique families in your own congregation.
Ask the special needs families in your congregation, “How can we respond to the COVID-era transitions back to community, in a way that will be most helpful and meaningful for you and your family?” You could also ask, “What things has our church been doing since early March that have been most helpful and most challenging for you?”
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Their answer may present enormous challenges. Take courage, you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, Church!
But their answers may be much more straightforward and doable than you expected. You may find you’ve already been doing some things that are quite helpful. Praise God and thank you, Church!
Special needs families may be overwhelmed by your question. They may even hesitate to respond very specifically or at all. Special needs families will often deeply appreciate being asked for their input, yet exhausted from all the problem-solving they have to do every single day, and the enormous demands of creativity put on them. They may be afraid to answer for fear of asking too much. They may be afraid to answer and be disappointed with the response. They may be unsure they can trust themselves to respond in a reasonable way because they fully recognize that their needs are complicated. But, rest assured, they are blessed to be asked. They are abundantly blessed to have someone invest time in hearing their perspective and helping them think through the possibilities. Special-needs parents absolutely love people who are willing to take initiative with them and advocate on their behalf. Who doesn’t love knowing someone “has their back?”
Visionary and compassionate leaders from your congregation can be making phone calls to individuals impacted by disability in your congregation—even if those phone calls take much more time than you hoped. You can hold Zoom prayer meetings to lift these questions before our Heavenly Father. You can gather perspectives from different peopl,e such as special needs parents, special siblings, career caregivers, group home staff members, special-needs educators, medical professionals, counselors and others to brainstorm ways of supporting individuals and families for whom church engagement is complicated by COVID-19.
This is ministry, Church. Make no mistake, the process itself is ministry. Asking the question with genuine interest in knowing someone’s perspective is ministry. When the answers feel complicated, when the church starts to feel intimidated or worry about responding perfectly, please don’t stop asking. You can simply respond with a message in this spirit:
We cannot promise a perfect response for any individual or family in our congregation. But we will surely try. We want to hear what you think could help. You matter to us. And you matter to God. We want to assure you that we love you and your family!
We appreciate your grace while we listen and learn and try things and fall short and make adjustments and try again. Please pray with us. You are part of this family and we want to follow Jesus into the world together with you.
1 John 3:18-19
Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God.
1 John 4:12
No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
Lisa Jamieson is a caregiver consultant, pastoral counsellor and author of popular books and Bible studies including Finding Glory in the Thorns and Jesus, Let’s Talk. Lisa and her husband, Larry, live in Minnesota with the youngest of their three grown daughters, Carly, who has Angelman Syndrome. Together, the Jamiesons founded Walk Right In Ministries in 2008, a non-profit organization building faith and community with special needs families.
