“Jesus said to his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields.” Matthew 9:37-38”
We get a taste of heaven on earth when we enjoy life together with others whose experiences and perspectives are different from our own. Diverse and inclusive communities add richness to life and relationships. It is a picture of sacred fellowship. As “Autism Pastor” Dr. Lamar Hardwick writes in his book Disability and the Church, “Churches that value the voices of all types of people tend to have a strong value for acknowledging and celebrating the image of God seen in all people.”
The church that cherishes life, the variety of gifts and the value of shared experiences will cultivate fellowship in community. That must include both diverse small groups that are accessible to families with special needs as well as groups that are specific to individuals and families impacted by special needs. There are times and reasons for gathering within themed or experience-specific groups, where there is a strong sense of resonance and credibility. This is why national programs like GriefShare and Celebrate Recovery thrive. God multiplies powerful encouragement and faith when people with shared experiences meet together.
Thankfully, a growing number of churches and faith-based organizations are hosting peer groups for caregivers, for parents raising children with special needs, for individuals with disabilities or mental health conditions and for siblings, too. The pandemic has spawned even more of these discussion groups, particularly for family caregivers who can gather online locally, nationwide and even globally.
The virtual format isn’t for everyone but it is, very often, much better than nothing. I have known more than a few caregivers who were quite resistant to participating in virtual communities. Yet few regret it once they have tried it. I have personally witnessed special needs parents finding great flexibility in attending a Zoom meeting with a child on their lap, headphones on their ears and their audio muted, except when it’s their turn to share. Surely it’s not an ideal scenario, and yet it is a desperately welcome and rewarding connection when options are severely limited.
When groups have not yet developed in our local churches, it helps to be aware of options for referrals. On several occasions, Key Ministry has partnered with disability ministry leaders to provide a platform for such groups. Earlier this year, Jolene Philo offered an online book study group on Sharing Love Abundantly in Special Needs Families. Key Ministry also lists several small group opportunities on its website.
SOAR Special Needs offers a Virtual Parent Support Group on the third Thursday evening of each month. Hope Anew and Rising Above Ministries also offer communities for parents.
Mary Tutterow’s Heart of the Caregiver and Peaceful Caregiver courses are helping both men and women who are caregivers go from trying to care out of self, to caring out of the love and knowledge of God.
Walk Right In Ministries offers Real Talk Connect on Tuesday afternoons. The group is specifically designed to bring together the perspectives of caregivers in families with special needs, for encouraging and Christ-pointing fellowship. Most participants are moms, but grandparents, dads, and adult siblings also participate from time to time. These are rich conversations where encouragement, resonance and hope flow freely and generously.
My husband and I recently participated in a virtual Awaken Love class with five other couples who are special needs parents. Knowing what great needs exist, it was exciting to be part of what may have been the first-ever formal group conversation about sex in marriage specifically for couples raising children with disabilities. Awkward as it may sound, it was an incredible opportunity to explore God’s design for biblical intimacy within covenant marriage, while intentionally factoring in the challenges of caregiving.
There are options for siblings as well. 99Balloons is an organization featuring rEcess respite events for kids with special needs. Those events include dedicated volunteers and programming just for siblings. (Sibshops, though recreationally focused and not faith-based, are another valuable opportunity for kids to talk about the good, not-so-good, and everything-in-between of having a sibling with special needs).
Why do wonderful opportunities like these exist?
Besides the desperate need for them, peer discussion groups exist because God intends the comfort of the Holy Spirit to be shared by those who have received it themselves (2 Corinthians 1:3-7). God raises up leaders from within the experience of disability to comfort, strengthen and empower other people in the midst of the same kinds of weighty challenges. He also uses His Church to provide platforms for those folks to use their voices, share their stories and take steps of faith to lead.
My own family is an example of one of this. Early in our experience as a family impacted by disability, God put us in a supportive Christian community. Then He used that bolstering, along with vocational experience, to build our confidence and grow a passion in us for leadership. In time, God made it clear that He’d put a unique calling on our lives.
God uses the Church in important ways to come alongside people He eventually calls to leadership. I’m currently seeing this in action with at least a half dozen individuals and couples we serve at WRIM. God has placed them in positions of receiving essential encouragement, prayer, support and equipping. In the process, He’s revealing their potential, as well as opportunities to move them into areas of ministry with other families impacted by disability.
Where there is emerging special needs ministry leadership, people are typically experiencing these things in their church community:
They feel both welcomed and wanted by their church.
Their community protects them from feeling like a burden.
They have supporters sticking with them for the long haul, recognizing that their burdens are constant and complex, as well as God-purposed.
Prayer for them is ongoing and intentional.
They have a church and/or faith-based community that is a place of rest, refreshing and worship.
Their gifts are seen and valued. They are regularly encouraged to serve, despite their limitations and with respect for any limitations.
They are helped to find a platform from which to share their story, vision and/or calling.
Many people in a family impacted by disability, mental health difficulties or other special needs will not have the margin or bandwidth to spearhead a ministry. Often, leadership will involve collaboration. Ideal candidates for specific roles can thrive with proper support. For example, you may find a mom or dad who is a wonderful discussion facilitator, who is positioned for success when they have another person to coordinate group communications, scheduling and other logistics. Likewise, you may find a person with a passion for baking the snacks that a small group shares at their meeting. Another may serve as the prayer coordinator.
Whether it’s through small group ministry or any other area of ministry, church leaders hold Kingdom-building influence when they recognize the gifts of individuals with special needs and their family members, then empower those folks to engage and grow in those gifts. When someone’s strengths, interests and availability are meaningfully sown into our faith communities, God’s work is multiplied.
Lord Jesus, our ultimate goal in Christian ministry is to help people move toward You. Just as Jesus moved toward people with compassion and good news, move my church/organization and our friends with special needs toward You and each other. Show us how to make it easy for these friends to connect in community and serve as You call them. Guide us in recognizing the wide variety of gifts in the people around us. Forgive us for getting in the way of anyone’s calling! God, we trust You to position us for thriving in faith and relationships together. AMEN.
Lisa Jamieson is a caregiver consultant, pastoral counsellor and author of popular books and Bible studies including Finding Glory in the Thorns and Jesus, Let’s Talk. Lisa and her husband, Larry, live in Minnesota with the youngest of their three grown daughters, Carly, who has Angelman Syndrome. Together, the Jamiesons founded Walk Right In Ministries in 2008, a non-profit organization building faith and community with special needs families.
