In today’s episode, Sandra shares an idea for organizing care for disability families in your church and how the parable of the Good Samaritan provides guiding principles for how and why we provide that care.
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Hi friends! I’m so glad you’re joining me today for Key Ministry the podcast episode 091! I’m Sandra Peoples. And Today we’re talking about a tool I share with the students in my congregational care in disability ministry class at Liberty University. It’s an easy and organized way to provide care for special needs families (and other families when they need care). I call them family care plans!
Before we walk through what a family care plan is, I’m going to start with the biblical foundation for the concept. Essentially, it’s kindness. Kindness is tough to define. It's one of those "you know it when you see it" kind of characteristics. But I thought about examples of kindness from people I know and people in Scripture. And here's what they have in common: they move toward people.
I'd like to share a little devotion with you about the Good Samaritan, a character in a parable Jesus used to show his audience at the time and those of us who have read it in Scripture for centuries. What is remarkable about the Good Samaritan was his kindness—the way he moved toward someone who was suffering and met his needs.
Let me read the entire parable from Luke 10:25-37,
25 And behold, a lawyer stood up to put Jesus to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” 27 And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” 28 And Jesus said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
29 But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” 30 Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. 32 So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ 36 Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?”37 He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise."
Let’s talk through three ways we can "go and do likewise" in the lives of others:
1. Like the Good Samaritan, we can move toward people. The priest and the Levite both saw the need and moved away, crossing on the other side of the path. They got as far away from the suffering man as they could. But the Samaritan moved toward him.
He stopped, he came close, he saw the wounds, and he met the needs. He took time. We can be so busy that we don't even see people. But if we ourselves have been ignored or overlooked, we are more likely to see the needs of others and take time to help. We encourage others with the encouragement we have received!
2. Like the Good Samaritan, we can be generous with what we have. He used his bandages, oil, wine, and donkey. Did he have one of those "always prepared mom purses" that has everything someone would need? Did he take off one of his traveling garments and rip the material and make these bandages? I imagine that since he was a Samaritan, he knew if he were attacked on this road, that no one would help him. So he came prepared for the worst with everything he might need.
Think about what you have today: the possessions and supplies, the skills and talents, the expertise and experience. Do you hold them with open hands, asking God to show you needs and how you can meet them? Do you trust in the God of abundance to provide for you and allow Him to use you to provide for others?
3. Like the Good Samaritan, we can provide long term care. Here's maybe my favorite part and where the family care plans can really help. The Good Samaritan provided for the long term needs of the wounded man. In my experience, there are more people equipped to help in a quick way than to stick with someone through a long season of suffering. It's called compassion fatigue. They have compassion for a while, but when the situation doesn't get better, they grow weary in helping. Unfortunately, the needs for many people with disabilities and their families don't stop quickly and neatly.
And what is also helpful from this story is that the Samaritan man himself doesn't necessarily have to provide the long-term care, but he does make a way for someone else to provide it. He is the bridge between the ongoing need and getting that need met. That’s what a family care plan is—a connection between the family and getting the family’s needs met.
There are three ways the Good Samaritan served the wounded man: with his time, his possessions, and his wealth. All three of these were necessary. And I'm thankful he chose to give of his time, possessions, and wealth. But when we work together as we should, the full responsibility isn't one just one of us. There are even different stages of life when we are better equipped to share our time, our possessions, or our wealth. That's another reason the family care plans are so helpful. The responsibility to help doesn't fall on just one person.
So let’s jump into the details of a family care plan:
A family care plan is an info sheet kept by the church staff to help know the family and care for their needs. Instead of having to ask a bunch of questions when a family is in crisis, you already have the information you need.
You can create the plan when a family joins the church if you know they will be a part of the disability ministry or when a family who is part of your church gets a diagnosis. Anyone on staff who knows the family can go over the information with them. Once it’s on file, the staff, small group/ ministry leaders, and/or those who are part of your mercy ministries program can have access to it. Essentially anyone who would be organizing care for the family can first look at the FCP to make it easier to provide the care they will need.
What to include:
Names and ages of family members, Contact info, Classes/small groups the family members attend, How they serve (so ministry leaders can get coverage when they aren’t going to be at church)
School(s) they attend, Diagnoses, medical concerns, allergies
And The family’s chosen go-to person who will step in to organize help when needed and who will communicate with the staff: this is helpful so the family isn't overwhelmed by messages that say "just let me know how I can help!" or requests for details they aren't comfortable sharing.
Part of the process for creating the plan is also going over what the church offers as practical help and how the family can access that help. At our church, that includes who we recommend for counseling, respite opportunities, help with bills, meal train access, carpool opportunities, support groups through our church and other local churches, and advocacy agencies in the community. We let them know what's available when they need it!
These family care plans make moving toward these families easier because we already have the detailed info we would need to step in and help!
In the class I teach at Liberty, the students do an assignment that helps them create family care plans for a fictional family. I’ll share the profiles they get to pick from with you because I think it helps to hear an example of when the family care plan would be helpful!
Family 1: Doug and Jackie have been married 10 years and have two children: Nathan (8) and Ryan (5). Nathan has been diagnosed with ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and a learning disability. Ryan has sensory processing disorder and delayed speech development. Both boys attend public school with IEP accommodations and receive therapy. Jackie works part time as a virtual assistant. Doug teaches high school history classes and coaches track and cross country, so he often has late practices and meets on the weekends. They attend church as a family on Sunday mornings 2-3 times a month. Doug and Jackie are in a Sunday morning small group for adults in their 30s-40s. The boys enjoy Sunday morning children's ministry activities and consistently participate in Wednesday night programming (both boys have support in place to help with sensory, social, and learning challenges). Jackie has shared with you that she is pregnant. She is concerned about how to support the boys as she cares for herself through the pregnancy. She's also worried the boys' challenging behavior and sensory needs will increase when the baby is born. How would your church support their family?
Family 2: Thomas and Kathy have been married 45 years. They have four adult children, including Naomi, who has Down syndrome and lives with them. Naomi volunteers 8-10 hours a week at a local food bank. Kathy is a real estate agent who mostly works evenings and weekends when Thomas can be home with Naomi. At church, Kathy teaches the Sunday morning class for 2- and 3-year-olds and Naomi helps. Thomas is part of a men's Sunday school class and sings in the choir. Kathy has confided in you that Thomas was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. He will start chemo soon. Kathy wants to support her husband as much as possible while also keeping Naomi's routine consistent during Thomas's treatments and hopefully adding new social or service opportunities that Naomi would enjoy. How would your church support their family?
Family 3: Jacob and Elizabeth recently gave birth to their fourth child, Cade. He was born prematurely and was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. He will be in the NICU for two more weeks and then require weekly follow up appointments and extra nursing care at home. Their older children are 6, 4, and 2 years old. Elizabeth is a stay-at-home mom who homeschools. Jacob works from home three days a week and commutes to the office the other days. They live in the suburbs of a major city, and Cade's hospital is forty-five minutes away (he will have his follow up appointments at this hospital). Jacob and Emily attend church regularly and host a small group in their home on Sunday nights for young families. The group eats a meal together and has two teen babysitters who watch the kids in the playroom while the parents have their Bible study time together. Your pastor has asked you to organize support for them as Cade transitions home.
Here are the details from the assignment: they have to
Describe the support system that currently exists for them at church
Create a family care plan that will meet their practical and spiritual needs
Include at least two resources you would recommend for the family. Can be books, podcasts, parachurch organizations that offer support, people to follow on social media they can relate to, or video resources
I hope that talking about family care plans and the biblical example of kindness that inspired the idea was helpful to you today! Caring for families is an important part of what we do as ministry leaders. In fact, at Disability and the Church, our conference that’s happening May 1-3 in Orlando, we have many sessions that would help you learn how to care for families in your church! Here are just some of the sessions: The Impact of Disabilities on Marriage - Joan & Jerry Borton, Dr. Todd & Kristin Evans, Rev. Dan & Rev. Dr. Stephanie Holmes, Faith and The Special Needs Single Father - John Felageller, Caring for Others from Your “Sweet Spots” - Lisa Jamieson, Addressing Mental Health Risks for Parent Caregivers - Kristin & Todd Evans, The 411 on Ministry to Special Needs Dads - Steve Chatman, and Siblings: The Forgotten Family Member - Tom Jones
You can find out more about Disability and the Church conference at keyministry.org/datc2024
Thanks for spending part of your day with me! Before you move on to what’s next on your to do list, take a minute to pray for the families in your church. Pray that they would feel supported by your church and the friends they have made there. Pray for the schedule and routine changes they will experience this month because of spring break and Easter. Pray for strength and pray for joy.
