Elaina Marchenko sits down with Rachael VerMeulen from A Little Extra Love Ministries to talk about the reality for families affected by special needs, the need for disability support in Colorado, and what Rachael will be sharing at Disability & the Church Conference.
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Elaina Marchenko: Hi everyone. Thank you for joining us again on Key Ministry, the podcast. Today we have Rachael VerMeulen from A Little Extra Love and we're really excited to hear about her ministry and her testimony and how God is using her and her family right now in Colorado with families affected by disability. And we're just excited to hear from her, ask our questions and also connect. She's also a speaker at Disability in the church conference in April, April 29th through May 1st, and so we can't wait to hear more from her, but today's kind of a sneak peek and an introduction to who she is, her family and her ministry. So we're just excited to have you Racheal.
Rachael VerMeulen: Hi Elaina. I'm so happy to be here with you.
Elaina Marchenko: Yeah, thank you. Thanks for making time.
Rachael VerMeulen: Oh yeah, always love what you guys are doing and just key Ministry's heart. It is so evident for our community.
Elaina Marchenko: We love that. And I've had the pleasure of getting to know you a little bit too, and so I'm excited for everyone to get to know you as well and hear your heart for Jesus and for this community is just really special.
Rachael VerMeulen: Thank you so much.
Elaina Marchenko: So can you share a little bit about your ministry, how it got started, maybe how God pulled you in, and then obviously after I want to hear about what it looks like day-to-day and maybe if there's things that kind of our listeners can get involved in as well, we would love to share about that.
Rachael VerMeulen: Awesome. Yeah, so our story begins with my son Caleb. He was born five years ago. We're actually coming up on what I like to call his D-Day, which is his diagnosis day when I got his diagnosis when I was 13 weeks pregnant and it was on January 26th, six years ago. And so he was born with Down syndrome, medical complexities, and then recently was diagnosed with autism. And life with him has been totally different than anything I ever expected. I had Caleb when I was 22. Young mom, quickly became a single mom and just felt so isolated and rejected and just in such a tough spot as a young adult. And I just was walking through a spiritual desert during that season with very little support. There was very little spiritual support, the spiritual support I would seek out. At this time, I was working in the ministry space and transitioning out and I just needed someone something to tell me that it was going to be okay, that God had it.
And I could not find that in our space. I couldn't find that as a disability parent and as a caregiver or as a single mom. And it was really, really, I was just struggling. I was in a tough spot. Fast forward, I met my husband Kyle, and from the get go I always blogged about Caleb's story online, just about my journey as a disability parent and the way God was working through that. Even if I couldn't see him, I still wrote about it and tried to share about it to help other parents because I couldn't find anything. The only place I found anything about Down syndrome that seemed to be accurate or real life was like Instagram. And so that community became a lifeline for me. It became a space where I could seek out support and seek out advice in this journey of raising a child with different needs.
And also it being my first child, my only child I had ever experienced had different needs. And so that was particularly the season where I was like, okay, there might be something here that I need to create to impact these families because I couldn't get that need met. Fast Forward, met my husband, Kyle. He's raised Caleb since he was a year old. And as we went through the journey of being disability parents, going to church, trying to find community back in Las Vegas, Nevada, which is where we're from, it just was so tough. There was no resources, no support groups, and the things that we did have were very lacksadasial, it was not intentional. It was very much like, here's a piece of paper on how to do breath work or just things that aren't tangible and truly effective when you're in a spiritual desert and you are a disability parent and your kids in the hospital all the time and all of the things.
So fast forward a little bit forward more, Caleb ends up with some severe medical complexities ending up having to go to travel from Nevada to doctors in Colorado over and over. And we're just meeting people at Children's Hospital Colorado, constantly like tons of disability parents every single day we're living in the Ronald McDonald House and just seeing this need for these parents to have some type of spiritual support. And there is none. At this time, we had essentially been rejected from almost every church we had been at. We would go to church for a while and then they'd stop meeting Caleb's needs and we'd have to leave. And so we'd continuously be jumping from community to community trying to find what we needed. And then as we were in Colorado doing these visits, we were like, wow, this is crazy. This is nothing we ever experienced. We thought Nevada was spiritually a spiritual desert, but we get to Colorado and now we're in the Ronald McDonald's house and these families have literally nothing. There's no space for spiritual support, literally just drowning in the needs of their child and their family without any support. How are you going to be mentally, physically, spiritually healthy if there is no support?
And so fast forward doctors tell us we have to move to Colorado ASAP. So we moved to Colorado to get Caleb the medical care he needs, and Kyle and I just start praying about what it might look like to serve families here and what that might look like. And so I started getting connected in different support groups, mom's groups here in Colorado, and doing just some research of my own research while making community. But I'm like, okay, so most of these families don't go to church or they've told me, Hey, there is no church for them to go to. And it was one of those things where I was like, why aren't families with disabilities in any of the churches that we're visiting? They're not in their sanctuary, they're not in the children's ministry. They're not at the table. So what does that mean? It means they don't have access.
There's no one here to give them the opportunity to open their doors to come through. And so we ended up just dreaming up, praying and starting some bible studies. We were like, okay, let's just open our home, start a couple bible studies and see how it goes. Over the last year, those Bible studies have reached over 380 families here in Colorado. We serve, have multiple different programs now, but through our dad's night outs, mom's night outs, and then our Bible studies and sibling grow groups, we are serving so many families here now. So many families are getting their needs met, but so many families still aren't attending church. They can't get through the door or they get through the door and they're rejected essentially. Or they'll be told, Hey, we don't have the resources for you, which got me kind of researching. I started to, I'm a big, I love to advocate. I love to really know. I really like to know the know. And so I started reading through the ADA and one of the only places that ADA doesn't protect is religious institutions. And so I was like, wow. So we want to be the heart of God. We want to be the church, but we're going to just marginalize 10% of people and tell them they can't come
Just because we're a religious institution. That makes no sense to me. So Kyle and I started to pray about that. My background is nonprofit, ministry, writing programming, and so I just started to really dig deep and dig deep into the word and figure out, okay, how can we best serve families here? Started connecting with different therapists in our community, different moms doing case studies and just researching like, Hey, what do these families actually need within the church? And when it boils down to it, it's belonging. They need a place to belong, not just a place to be welcomed, not just a place to be included, but a place to truly intentionally belong. And that's kind of where we stemmed inclusive pathways from, which is a program within A Little Extra Love Ministries. And that's kind of our story. That's where we are now installing disability ministries in churches, creating and fostering an environment of belonging, and then just running all of these different Bible studies throughout Colorado and then now also online serving thousands of families online through those.
And so it's really, really fun to be able to just watch the Lord work through something that was just me sharing my story blogging on Instagram. So cool that God has created all of this out of what once was a really broken situation in a spiritual desert for me, that he has not only been a balm to my heart through this and shown me like, wow, I'm not alone in that isolation I felt six years ago now. But I also get to be a landing space for these families who are in that spiritual desert now.
Elaina Marchenko: And I imagine it's very redeeming for you as well to even though you're on the other side serving families, even when you're serving, you're in community and people are serving you as their friendships. And not feeling isolated. And it's really cool that God used that. I mean, that's a really cool story. I actually didn't know all of that.
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah, the Lord totally is just so good to be able to take something that is once so broken, like single mom, 22 years old, leaving ministry because my ex-husband was doing it. So that's how I was doing it. And it just transformed to something that is totally only could have been God only could have God take something that was so broken and make it beautiful and say, Hey, not only am I going to make it beautiful, but I'm going to bring you these people who not only are your people who get what you go through on the deepest level, but who also just love the Lord. And also so many of our families within that started in the OG Bible, so we call 'em like the OG Bible studies. They were like, it very, were very grassroots. My husband and I did not, we were never like, oh, we're going to make this into this thing. It just naturally
Elaina Marchenko: That wasn't your plan.
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah, it wasn't our plan. My husband works in tech and I was just trying to just be a mom, and the Lord just totally decided, Hey, that is not the plan. We want to do something totally different here. And now we're able to just do ministry in this way that it has given us this intense community around us to pray us through it too. So we have families walking alongside us that have become some of our best friends who do ministry with us, who help us lead the Bible studies, who help us plan these, we do moms night out events, dad's night out events, and we're planning a spiritual retreat for moms in the fall, like a small one, 20 people. Really intentional. But I have people to do that with me that I never expected. I never expected to have those friendships, but because God placed us here in Colorado and told us to keep leaning in to our story and to the ministry, he's brought us everyone we've needed and everything we've needed in order to sustain it.
Elaina Marchenko: I love that. And do you feel like it's changed your view of church as well? I mean, leaving ministry and maybe having, I imagine some church hurt. How has that changed your experience with church and then also how are churches responding in Colorado?
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah, so one of the biggest things for me is that I faced a lot of rejection within the church after having Caleb. So even as a newborn, I would try to take him to nursery and they would be like, we don't have the resources for him, but I'm like, he's just a baby. He's a baby on oxygen. I promise he's fine. And they're like, no, we don't have the resources for that. And so there was a lot of rejection in that space, and I think for me, that's where a lot of the church hurt stems from is that space of rejection. But God's heart isn't for rejection. And so I see that so clearly. And so that kind of also shifted us into the space of the church is really promoting belonging in the church because people don't know until they know. They stay ignorant until they're educated.
And if no one else in Colorado is going to meet that need, I have to, for the families we serve, we want our families to be in the community. We, thankfully are in an incredible church now that uses Inclusive Pathways that just disciples, Kyle and I pours into us and our kids and Caleb and makes sure he's learning the gospel on Sundays. And I want that for everyone. I want that for every family, but that's just not happening here. Colorado is super well, so Colorado Springs specifically super well churched. We have I think the most churches per capita in the country. And so it's like crazy.
Elaina Marchenko: Yes, I've heard that.
Rachael VerMeulen: It's a big church, big ministry spot. We did not know that when we moved here, but we quickly found that out after as we were visiting churches and continuously got rejected, would go for a few weeks and then Caleb would to, we would take Caleb out and he would be gravely ill because he has severe celiac disease and they just would not care and give him snacks and things that are very much just not okay if you're trusting someone with your child. And we just saw that and saw that, okay, there's churches that have the heart and are trying to do it that need help. Then there's churches that just won't do it at all. But there was no one that was doing it really well.
Elaina Marchenko: Sure. Yeah.
Rachael VerMeulen: So we couldn't get our needs met even. Kyle and I, even when we started going to the church we're at now, very small church, we met with them before we went to the church, sat down with them, told them Caleb's needs, told them what we're doing or whatever, and what we think that we need for him. And we had to be his buddy for, while we built out the programming at this church because we knew that, okay, we like this church, we like these pastors. We know they have the heart for it, but they can't, they're, they're not educated. They don't know. They're still in this space of ignorance, so we're going to have to teach them how to do it. And they had to literally partner with us in order for us to even just attend their church.
Elaina Marchenko: But Praise God that they're willing to do that!
Rachael VerMeulen: But praise God that they're willing to do that. And so many families within our community now go to our church and love it and are thriving there. And it is amazing. But when we think about how families have to do that in order to receive access to a space that should be easy to go to, it's hard because most families wouldn't sit down with a pastor before they go to the church. Most families wouldn't say, Hey, I'll be background checked and be the buddy for my child until you can find buddies. That is just not a thing for families that have children with disabilities or families that are affected by disabilities outside of a ministry family.
Elaina Marchenko: Right.
Rachael VerMeulen: And so it's really that lack of access that we see that we need to be able to grow this space in Colorado to serve one in 20 families has a child affected by disability here. We know one in 12 children have a developmental disability. We know one in 66 has an intellectual disability. We know one in 112, it has a ambulatory disability. So we know that there's a huge need just in the country in general. But when we look at the one in 20 rate here in Colorado, we see, okay, that's one in 20 families not going to church. And that's one in 20 families living in a spiritual desert. And so through Inclusive Pathways and Bible studies. So it kind of gives us a mix. We can go through the church if people feel comfortable, but if not, they can come to our house. And we do church here and we churches where two or more are gathered. And so it's a really easy level entry with our Bible studies to get people to this space where they're ready to go back to church after being rejected so often.
Elaina Marchenko: Yeah, that's great. So can you explain a little bit of what Inclusive Pathways looks like?
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah. Yeah. So inclusive,
Elaina Marchenko: I guess I don't know a lot about it, so I just want to hear more about how it works.
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah, so essentially we go in, we start identifying gaps in their current programming facilities and culture. So we look at all three, kind of look through it, see it, have an evaluation, meet with their whole church staff, is our goal. We truly believe fostering a culture belonging starts at the top of the church.
It doesn't start within the congregation. And so we go in, we evaluate, and then we start church staff and volunteers on everything from understanding sensory needs to learning practical ways to support families. And we prepare every team to serve every family really well. We really emphasize family support systems within Inclusive Pathways. We feel like that is a key within disability ministry and a lot of programs that's being missed, honestly, especially in churches, they'll adapt curriculum and there's incredible curriculums out there. I mean, Courtney from Awe & Wonder kills that there's just so many people who are killing it in curriculum, but on the other side of it, then these families are lacking so much. They're not getting the support there need. These siblings aren't being seen. These moms and dads are still in spiritual deserts. They're just surviving. They don't have any support or support system.
So we really, really focus on supporting the whole family well, and then we guide essentially the whole team in making your church spaces as physically accessible and welcoming to all, making sure sensory, there's a sensory room set up, that it's physically accessible, ramps are in place, doorways, all of the things that you would need at least having one of each in a certain space within the church. And then we help you build out essentially buddy ministries, youth groups and worship environments that engage and include every adult, no matter their adult or child, no matter their ability. So we focus on full spectrum, zero to 100. We want everyone to be served really well, and that starts in fostering and cultivating that culture of belonging.
Elaina Marchenko: So true. I love that. Yeah. Great. That's great. Yeah, like you're saying with the curriculum, I think it's so important, but like you're saying, it's only Sundays, and so you have to have support throughout the week and real relationships with people checking on others because otherwise it's not enough.
Rachael VerMeulen: Exactly.
Elaina Marchenko: Great. Sunday is life-giving, but it's not enough for your life. You still need that daily, personally daily time with the Lord, but also you need that's checking in on you and that you're pouring back into them as well.
Rachael VerMeulen: Exactly. And we do curriculum adaptation in a way by, like I said, we're big connectors, so we connect with other resources to be able to provide the right curriculum for that church, and we evaluate to get you that right curriculum. But our biggest goal is to really disciple parents to be able to raise their kids in a home that is teaching them the word and teaching them about Jesus and the gospel every single day. Our kids might have a mental deficit, there might be a physical deficit, but there is no spiritual deficit. The Holy Spirit is we have access every single one of us, but our kids have to hear it to know it.
Elaina Marchenko: Yes. Yeah, that's so true. I love that. That's so powerful. There's not a spiritual deficit. It's so true. You don't know how God's working.
Rachael VerMeulen: No, we don't. And people are so quick to say, oh, because they're intellectually disabled that they don't know the Lord. They shouldn't be baptized. Why? If they're raising their hands in worship, if they're saying on their AC device that they want to go to church, that they want to worship, they're telling you. They're showing you. And so we also help adapt, baptism, adapt, even we're open to working with Catholic churches First communion. We will help you adapt your programming in order to serve all abilities.
Elaina Marchenko: I love that. Yeah. Important. I love that. Okay, well that's so good to hear. Just more about the background and the practical day-to-day, what you guys are up to.
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah.
Elaina Marchenko: You're speaking at our conference, right?
Rachael VerMeulen: Yes.
Elaina Marchenko: Okay. So do you want to give us a little bit of a peek or a little summary of what you're going to be sharing with us at Disability and the Church?
Rachael VerMeulen: So at Disability and the Church, I'll be giving a talk on connecting the community, building bridges in the community. And what I mean by that is collaborating with other change-makers, other groups who are doing the work, that are doing the work in the same space as you, but in a way that is different so we can collaborate to reach more families, serve more families, and love more families well.
Elaina Marchenko: I love that. And that's something that's super important to us here at Key Ministry as well. We just want to connect as many people as we can. We want to provide a space, like a conference and online. We have multiple gatherings every month to really gather people together and share ideas and troubleshoot and encouragement. And I actually just listened to this month's Disability Ministry Video Roundtable, and we're talking about sensory, how to have a sensory room when you don't have a room kind of thing.
And it's been a while since I really, because Beth, who's awesome, our ministry director kind of runs those. And so it's been a while since I really sat down and listened and I was so encouraged. I'm like, we have so many great ideas. People are sharing their encouragement, sharing their ideas, troubleshooting, and there's just such a wealth of knowledge. And in God's kingdom, we're just all sharing it for the same purpose. And so it's so cool, it's so powerful, and I'm glad that A Little Extra Love has that same mindset and I think it's so special.
Rachael VerMeulen: Absolutely, yeah, and I mean, I've said before, community and collaboration is so much more important than being competitive. 10% of the nation is disabled. We have to reach these people, and it can't just be one group. Literally. There's not enough people doing disability ministry. There's not enough disability missionaries, there's not enough people on the ground doing this work that in order to actually get the work done, we have to do it together.
Elaina Marchenko: Yes, yes. What is it? The harvest is plenty, but the laborers are few.
Rachael VerMeulen: Yes.
Elaina Marchenko: So true. So true. So true. As much as from the word, yeah, as much as in our world, I feel like we're always talking about it. You step out of disability world and you realize that that is not the case for most churches. It's not the case for most communities, for most, like you're saying states, even Colorado, you're missing so many people and so many resources in so many areas of the country and worldwide as well. So I love that. Just sharing all of the good stuff that the Lord is teaching us. Well, thank you for being on. I think that's it. I don't have a ton of questions. I'm excited to hear from you at Disability and the Church Conference. I'm so thankful to hear more about your story and how God wove it all together and encouraged that. It's just always good to remember that God redeems things.
Sometimes it's easy to forget or you're in a rut, or like you're saying, a spiritual desert. But just to be reminded in your life and many times in mine and anyone listening, that God is redeeming and he's working even when you can't see it, and he is doing things for you and for your good and for His glory. And maybe today we don't realize it, but Lord willing, he'll show us and just kind of keeping our eye out for that as well and seeing that redemption in our lives and also in all the families that you guys serve, and along with Key Ministry as well.
Rachael VerMeulen: Yeah. Thank you so much. Yeah. God always is so good to bring beauty from brokenness. He always brings a message from the mess, I like to say.
Elaina Marchenko: That's so true. Well, thank you so much. It was such a fun time chatting with you, and I look forward to seeing you at the conference.
Rachael VerMeulen: Can't wait. Thanks, Elaina.
