Drawing on their research and experience in children’s ministry and mental health care, the Crosbys explain why trauma-informed ministry benefits all children. They introduce
Calm, Care, Coach, a memorable framework that helps volunteers respond thoughtfully while maintaining appropriate boundaries and expectations.
This conversation will help pastors, children’s ministry leaders, and volunteers look beyond disruptions to recognize opportunities to communicate Christ’s love and help children belong.
In this episode:
- What trauma means and how difficult experiences can shape a child’s behavior.
- What researchers learned from churches where hurting children felt loved, valued, and connected.
- Why relationships and playful engagement are foundational to ministry.
- How to use Calm, Care, Coach when a child is struggling.
- Why understanding behavior does not mean excusing harmful behavior.
- How teaching practices and ministry environments can help children participate and learn.
- How churches can offer supportive, healing relationships without taking on the role of a child’s therapist.
- Resources for equipping your entire volunteer team.
Episode chapters
00:00 — Meet Dr. Robert and Lori Crosby
03:22 — When hurting children are asked to leave church
11:21 — What welcoming churches were doing differently
18:12 — Defining trauma and understanding childhood adversity
24:18 — Why trauma-informed practices help all children
28:52 — Expectations that make participation difficult
31:01 — Looking beneath challenging behavior
33:56 — The three Cs: Calm, Care, Coach
39:01 — Supporting healing without becoming a therapist
40:43 — Adapting teaching and ministry environments
45:13 — Why the language of trauma-informed ministry matters
48:13 — Training options for ministry leaders and volunteers
54:20 — Where to find resources and research
Resources mentioned
A next step for your team: Discuss the Calm, Care, Coach framework together. Identify one way you could strengthen relationships or adjust your ministry environment to better support a child who is struggling.
