The pregnancy seemed normal except for the fact that I had morning sickness all day long.
It was amazing for me to think that God was knitting my baby together in my womb as Psalm 139 indicates. Perfectly.
Then we had "the test." You know the one where they take blood and check to see if your child has Down syndrome. We were not even certain we wanted this test but agreed only because we thought maybe it would be better to know so we could prepare our hearts.
The test came back positive, so I was taken to the high risk doctor where they could monitor growth in the child closely and often. Never in those nine months could they ever be certain of the outcome.
I did battle some fears in this. Fears of the unknown.
When the day came for my child to be born, she did not have Down syndrome. Why did the test indicate a positive then? I knew not to trust the test for my next child. But again, the doctors took the test, it indicted a positive. Yet my child was born without Down syndrome.
There is no prenatal test for autism, although I have heard of tests like these are being created. But autism is a spectrum. Not all are the same. And again, would it help for someone to know ahead of time? It took seven years to really understand this was what my child had.Would an early test make a difference?
The sad part about these tests is that if you get a positive result, the doctors are required to talk to you about your options, including the option to end the pregnancy and the life of the unborn baby.
I know the Psalms are poetry but indicating God as the one who knits us together in the womb is active and intimate in how we are designed. God is also good and sovereign. I must believe He is good in His design. Even with those of us with disabilities. His glory shines brightly through all His image bearers. Period.
I write this as a reminder that the world does not always see disability as anything but a burden. We must be the advocate and always fight for what is right for our children. We must be their voice. God sees them and calls them remarkably and wonderfully made. The verse goes on to indicate that we know that full well. Do we know that when working with disability? Mental health issues? Chronic illness issues?
Let's see what God says about it here.
"For it was you who created my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from you when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in your book and planned before a single one of them began" (Psalm 139:13-16, CSB.)
Lord, help us see all image bearers as beautiful image bearers. Convict our hearts when we don't. Thank you for your personal involvement in our lives. You are a good Father. Amen.
