We are all basically under quarantine until further notice. Life as we’ve known it has come to a screeching halt, and not just for some, but for everyone!
How hard for some who’ve had to cancel trips of a lifetime, trips for their usual spring vacations, trips to see family, and even trips to the store! It’s changed some of our attitudes, directions in life, investments, ways we clean, how we pray, how long we wash our hands, how much we listen to the news, and even relationships!
It’s hard not seeing others when we can normally do so quite easily, but we are seeing this time as a real opportunity. Because we can’t—or shouldn’t—go out except for the necessities, it is giving us more time to be still, quiet, talk, listen, write notes, play games, clean out closets and drawers, hear the birds outside our doors longing to create their nests (in our case, on our door), call a friend whom we’ve missed and not had time to call. But perhaps our favorite is really getting to know each other in our own marriage and family better through conversation.
In the special needs community we have the awesome and audacious task of caring for our loved one with special needs. That might be a little child, an adult child, or our aging parent(s). No matter which case, or all of the above, with the “lock down” right now, there is less on our plates. We are used to spinning a lot of plates all at once and we might even have a little anxiety wondering “what to do” with some of this free time. Let us help you to find some things to do that will create closer relationships in your family, oneness in your marriage, and a sense of deeper relationship. Even if you aren’t in the “special needs community” these ideas will be fun for you to include in your day, as well. We’re joining in on these, too!
Photo credit: National Cancer Institute on Unsplash.
Have a family meeting to discuss something you will do together each day (play a board game after dinner, answer a question at dinner that each of you have written on paper, exercise, call another family, etc.). Have someone in charge of each day to make sure it happens.
Ask each other some probing questions to learn something new about each other (fun questions, not probing into personal or private areas!). Some example questions: What did you love about elementary school? Who was your favorite teacher and why? Was it hard to grow up where you did? Be creative. Someday we’ll wish we’d have asked some of these questions!
Be deliberate and intentional about putting time aside to talk. Perhaps plan to sit down and have coffee or a beverage after dinner in the family room with the TV off. Everyone—including kids—can join in! How about waking up and doing a short devotional together that will apply to the whole family? Our Pause for Prayer (devotional) is at www.cindiferrini.com if you need to order one!
Make a little mailbox out of cardboard and have everyone write a note of encouragement to put in at the days’ end: to another individual, or something about the day. The next morning, during breakfast, talk about what each one says. Give everyone a chance to talk.
Surprise each other. Bring up a topic that might be fun for everyone: Where will we go on our next vacation when we can? What can we do when the weather gets better? If you go see anyone right now, who would it be? What dessert did I get that we’ll all enjoy tonight? The answers might surprise you!
Pray for others together. Let’s not miss the most important thing we can do. Pray while you wash your hands; think of how many people we can pray for in the 20 seconds we need to wash our hands. Pray at each meal. Pray for others, as you know they have need. Meet that need if you can! Pray TOGETHER as a family; it’s a bond like no other!
Perhaps you’ll have even better, more fun, more creative things to add to this list. Whatever you do, step out of your corner of quiet and enjoy each other. As you each talk, remember to also listen well. This quiet will end soon and we don’t want to miss the opportunities we have to enjoy this time together!
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey. They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs. They speak nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways, authored Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, Janet Parshall, Chris Brooks, and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at www.cindiferrini.com and social media at: www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini, www.facebook.com/UnexpectedJourney/, www.facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters/.
