Many of us are being asked, “How has social distancing and the quarantine impacted you?”
For us, we had numerous ministry speaking opportunities and travel canceled. Meetings have gone from in person to Zoom. Church is now by Zoom. Additionally, this pandemic has affected us in our personal lives, in that we must remain very mindful of staying calm and steady for our son Joey, who is 38, has special needs and doesn’t understand what is happening. If we show any fear, anger, or uncertainty, he would pick up on that, and that would change the dynamics of everything in our home! He understands that we’re awaiting word from President Trump and Ohio Governor DeWine, so I guess we’re off the hook! But special needs or not, we all are affected and impacted by this time of quarantine!
Ohio Governor Mike DeWine. Photo credit: statenews.org, March 23, 2020.
The pandemic has also helped us recognize that those of us in special needs family situations experience quarantine most, if not all of the time. With that thought, let's realize a few things together as we all readjust to a new normal of quarantine:
Good hard laughter is as good as a hard cry. Laughing at some of the funny memes, just finding joy in the little things, and keeping worry on the lighter side lightens the load we feel.
The realization we are ALL affected. I think we’re all feeling like a hamster in a cage, looking out the front window with grieving, sadness, feeling stuck, and frustrated. Yet while we can experience some or many of the same things, we will all react or respond differently. We are all:
Grieving cancelled events
Cancelled big trips
Loss of jobs
Loss of income
Loss of investments
Loss of touch
Need for child care
Your specific loss.
And then, many of us are grieving the loss of LIFE EVENTS, which can’t all be rescheduled, such as
Graduation, proms, etc.
Deaths, that mean that life can’t be honored right now
Postponed marriages, and figuring out “now what?”
What if God asks you the most important quarantine question: “WHERE has this quarantine hit you personally the hardest?”
Even though our lives have been hit hard with the full time care of our son with special needs, we know that God is continuing to be at work in and through us. He might just be asking us to go a little deeper into our walk with Him and our walk with others. As we consider what has hit us the hardest, here are some introspective questions to ask ourselves:
What am I embracing that I need to surrender?
What should I consider doing as a next step in some area of life where God is speaking to me?
Maybe I’m young and don’t think I can do certain things, but maybe I’m old and think I’m of no value or worth?
And what will be my answer? Well, let’s get encouraged!
Our friend David Szafranski says, “Times like these reveal our faith.”
Another dear friend, Karin Csora, is an on-call triage nurse. She posted the following on social media about her observances during this time of quarantine:
“I have seen people’s general personality traits become more intense during this pandemic and rarely change.
The kind become kinder.
The angry are angrier.
The selfish become more selfish.
Those that isolate become more isolated.
The giving, give more sacrificially.
The creative become more creative.
The pessimistic have become more pessimistic.
The optimistic have become more optimistic.
Those who have a faith in God have more faith in God.”
These observations help us to ask ourselves:
Is this pandemic/quarantine a wake up call to how I’m handling things—or not?
Is what is hardest for me the very thing I need to work on or get ready for?
Do I want to miss or waste the lessons to be learned?
Do I think this is all about the quarantine impacting me, or should I consider what MY impact could be?
Who do I want to be or become during this time of seclusion, quarantine, and solitude? (See the 4 C’s below).
What if God is speaking to me regarding a “calling” or direction He has for me? What if I’m not listening because I’m whining about how lousy the quarantine is for little old me?
We all want to get moving again! But let’s be mindful of what we have the opportunity to learn before that happens:
CHALLENGES — We are all facing something now. While our circumstances will always change, God does not. He never will leave us or forsake us. And His loving kindness is eternal. Challenges grow us.
CHOICES — We have responsibilities! Where will we make new, better or different choices? We won’t be content until we’ve been brought to a place in our heart—maybe a low place—to realize that contentment is not in or about us, but outside of us. It might mean that things I don’t think I have time to do may actually be a wake up call to do that very thing! Catch up. Finish things we’ve started, and realize the pleasure in how good that will feel!
CHANCES — Maybe for some, this is the beauty of second chances! If our poor finances are an issue, what will we do in the near future to prepare for when—not if—the next “big” thing happens? If it’s our attitude, what can we do to make it better and improve it, for next time?
CHARITY — Charity can always be given and expressed, even when times are tough for you and me. Some of the most helpful, caring, and giving people are those who've embraced their special needs journey and give to many, besides those they care for! Keep connecting. Where you can’t give money, give time. When you can’t offer time, give money. You get the picture!
Let's be purposeful and intentional, as we find where we will be of greatest impact! And enjoy the journey!
Ps. 90:12, 17 NLT says, “Teach us to make the most of our time so that we might grow in wisdom.” “And may the Lord our God show us his approval and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful.”
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey. They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs. They speak nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways, authored Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife, Janet Parshall, Chris Brooks, and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at www.cindiferrini.com and social media at: www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini, www.facebook.com/UnexpectedJourney/, www.facebook.com/MyMarriageMatters/.
