When life is not as it should be, whether the cause is a global pandemic or a child's diagnosis, we have a choice to make. As our hearts break and our faith is tested, we have to decide to respond from either a short term or long term perspective.
In 1959 my parents were in that "when life is not as it should be" place.
They were not yet 30 when Dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. People gave them plenty of support, from a woman advising Mom to go on welfare to co-workers taking out a life insurance policy for Dad. Somehow, in the midst of conflicting advice and mounting fear as Dad's health deteriorated rapidly, my parents chose a long term perspective. To that end, they set two goals they felt were best for the long term well-being of their children.
First, they decided to keep Dad in our home as long as possible so their kids could grow up around their father.
Second, they would provide the support their kids would need to graduate from high school and go to college.
The goals they set drove every short term decision they made for two decades. To this day my siblings and I, as well as our children and their children, are benefiting from those long term goals.
In 1982 my husband and I landed in that "when life is not as it should be" place.
Our newborn was diagnosed with a birth defect. My husband was taking a shower at a friend's house when the doctor relayed the diagnosis to me at the hospital. Our baby needed to get to a major medical center for immediate surgery to save his life. When my husband returned and had time to absorb all that had changed in his short absence, we set long term, eternal goals for our son and for us.
First, we would put our son's life in God's hand.
Second, we would trust Him with whatever His will for our son is.
Those goals drove our short term medical decisions on our baby's behalf when he was very sick. They drove our daily decisions for him as he grew and thrived and for our daughter when she was born. To this day, they frame our view of who God is. They are our source of peace in good times and in bad.
Photo credit: National Cancer Institute on Unsplash.com.
You may be in the "when life is not as it should be" place today.
Maybe you're wondering whether or not to send your child to school this fall. Whether or not to wear masks when you venture out. Whether or not to vaccinate when that option becomes available. Whether or not you're pursuing the right treatments and therapies for your child who's been diagnosed with cancer or cystic fibrosis or autism or a multitude of other conditions.
Whatever your circumstances, you have to decide the perspective from which you will respond.
I'm not saying you have to set the same long term goals my parents did. That would be silly because your goals should be tailored to your circumstances. I am saying that setting long term goals is crucial so you can evaluate your circumstances and make wise short term decisions.
I'm also saying that as worthy as long term goals are, eternal goals are everlastingly superior.
Eternal goals lead to peace in hard places. They remind us of the glory yet to come. And they are the hope of Christ put into practice as we make our way through this "not as it should be" world.
Jolene Philo is the author of the Different Dream series for parents of kids with special needs. She speaks at parenting and special needs conferences around the country. She's also the creator and host of the Different Dream website. Sharing Love Abundantly With Special Needs Families: The 5 Love Languages® for Parents Raising Children with Disabilities, which she co-authored with Dr. Gary Chapman, was released in August of 2019 and is available at local bookstores, their bookstore website, and at Amazon.
