I am in a significantly depressed season. One where I don’t want to leave my room, where I am too numb to cry. I appear extremely high functioning, so most people probably think I am okay. It’s in these seasons where it seems the farther I am from my home, the easier it is for me to do the ‘things’ that need done. For example, I can do my checklist at church where I pastor with minimal struggle. I am still able to complete the same number of tasks, even if it is done pragmatically and not with the joy that I would in a typical season.
I am sure it’s not exactly what God would want for me, and it’s not what I want for myself, but I don’t think going into checklist mode dishonors God. The God I serve is more concerned with the fact that I am faithfully serving Him because I love Him, even when I am having a hard time and less concerned with keeping a smile on my face. Yes, at church I can effectively serve.
Maybe you’re like me. You can give at work, but you cannot give at home. I believe today that a productive thing I can do to help someone else is to share ‘go-to’ strategies of how I perform necessary tasks on my list while my brain wants me to do nothing but disappear into my bedroom, upon returning home from a full day. These are my favorite—and most effective—depression hacks, and I sincerely hope they help you.
1. BEGIN WITH GRACE: You cannot ever be your best you every single day. In fact, if we try to make our standard for a good day based on one of our best days, we are going to have absolutely miserable lives. It’s okay to set a goal and not attain it in the time desired. If we have understanding for others, we must have it for ourselves. Give yourself grace.
2. SPRINT CLEANING: I do this when I have to wait on something, because I hate waiting. For example, today when I was making a cup of coffee for my husband, I did a quick ‘sprint clean.’ I removed all the trash that my family left sitting on the kitchen counter. I put dishes in the sink, and I put away spices from last night’s dinner. As soon as his coffee was done, so was I. Sprint cleaning is designed to help me have a visible end in sight. I did it again while warming up my lunch: I loaded the dishwasher with the dishes I placed in the sink earlier. Sprint cleaning when I am depressed is a life saver.
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3. COUNTDOWN CLEANING: Much like sprint cleaning, I also use countdown cleaning. I set a timer for 15 minutes (a reasonable end time is important) and do tasks that take longer than a minute or two. I may do something like pick up the floor, vacuum, and maybe even mop, but as soon as my timer goes off, I am done. I respect my brain’s boundaries; as such, my brain allows me to clean without having a panic attack when I am depressed. It’s a win-win!
4. READY-MADE MEALS: In ‘up’ seasons, I pre-cook ground beef, pre-boil and shred chicken, and sometimes even pre-cook whole meals. If I have a day where the kitchen is not a great place for me to be, I can quickly cook and still feed my family.
5. ASKING FOR HELP: When I am depressed, little things look and feel so big. So I have learned to ask for help. Although it makes no logical sense, I cannot perform many simple tasks when I am depressed. For example, I can go to work but I cannot take out the trash. For some reason I do not understand, this chore mentally wipes me out. So I ask for help. Ask for help with jobs you can delegate.
On ‘down’ days, I sprint clean three times and countdown clean a minimum of twice. I put even more of a requirement on my kids to do their own chores; I cannot pick up any slack on these days. The house maintains a safe standard, but it isn’t what I would readily call clean. As a mom with two children, this means some things don’t get done. But these seasons don’t last forever, and we must give ourselves grace. Our priority should not be the cleanliness of our homes, but the health of ourselves and families. These practical tips have helped me weather some difficult seasons. They aren’t perfect, but everyone’s needs are met, even mine.
Give it a try, maybe it will work for you, too. Above all, please, remember to give yourself grace.
Joanna French is the special needs pastor at Flint Hills Church, Junction City, KS. Joanna and her husband Jairmie have two boys with autism. In 2017, Joanna started Flint Hills Embrace, with the goal to make Flint Hills Church a place where everyone belongs. Why? Because we all have a place in God's plan.
