Karen had Jacob in the water when he was an infant through a local college program. We decided to have him take swimming lessons when he was about nine years old. His instructor was not a specialist who worked with special needs children. In fact, she may never have worked in the special needs population at all. She just taught swimming.
There was one thing she did not do, and it was something that could have caused us to back away from her if we were different kinds of parents. She did not feel sorry for him.
As I reflect back, I sort of envision her as a Marine drill sergeant swimming coach who said in that excited but stern military tone of voice, “That boy will swim!”
She did not concern herself with what he could not do. She had expectations for this young man. He would learn to swim. And he did, actually very well.
At one lesson, we were sitting by the side of the pool, observing closely as our son came swimming towards us from the other end of the pool. The water was deep there, at least six feet deep where we sat. Suddenly, he started to falter and flail, his arms kind of beating the water without rhythm. He was struggling. Being a good mom, Karen started to get up to go and grab him, to save her son from almost certain mayhem.
But she was denied. The drill sergeant swim instructor raised her arm, blocking Karen from going to the rescue, then very matter-of-factly said, “He’s fine, let him go.” Okay, I still think of her as a Marine.
About a second later, Jake recovered and was on his way. He didn’t even notice his mom or me. He swam another 20 yards or so and finished his lap, as he was expected to.
Fast forward several lessons and Jake is jumping off the 15-foot high board, then safely swimming to shore, smiling and wanting to do it again. He has won several swimming medals at Special Olympics state meets in Ohio.
Not that long after that we were at a Sunday morning Special Olympics swimming practice. Jake was a teenager then. Same rec center, same pool. The kids were swimming laps, but things were not going smoothly. Lots of kids, lots of volunteers. Coaches were trying to get the kids to swim, and the new volunteers did not know what to do.
There were several first-time volunteers from the Strongsville High School swim team. Some were young lady swimmers in sleek bathing suits. One of them was working with Jake. She had never met Jake, didn’t know him from Adam, and for sure did not know he could swim extremely well, or his other skills.
Jake on a recent vacation to Florida.
So, there we were, sitting several yards away from the pool. But not much was happening. Jake was not swimming. As Karen got up and walked over to the pool, there was Jake, in the water. He had his arms strategically placed around the young lady volunteer’s waist. He was holding her close, like a kid who did not know how to swim. Again, she did not know Jake. It was her first time as a Special Olympics volunteer. She may have thought, “This poor kid with Down syndrome, so nice, so loveable, likes to hug. And the poor dear can barely keep his head above water. I better hold on to him…closely.”
Karen walked over to the pool, and looked down at Jake. The smile on his face was as wide and bright as an instant lottery millionaire winner. The boy was grinning ear to ear! He was right where he wanted to be.
But the gig was up. “Throw his butt in the water,” Karen said. “He swims like a fish!” The volunteer released him and he started swimming quite well on his way down the pool. The volunteer might have thought, “What a mean mom, forcing her ‘disabled’ boy to swim.” Or maybe she observed, “Wow, that little blank really can swim.”
Three Considerations for Parents:
The swim instructor had expectations. She did not look at limitations or a disability. She looked at a student that she would teach to swim. Hoo-rah!
Get your child in the water early. Jake was in the water before he was a 1-year old. There are many adaptive swim programs for the very young. If possible, don’t wait until they are older.
Do NOT underestimate your child’s abilities related to athletics, or at being con artists. They are often pretty good charmers and know how to work the system.
This story is an excerpt from Down Right Joy, by Tony D’Orazio, available on Amazon.
Tony D’Orazio is a graduate of Ohio Northern University; he and his wife Karen have three children. In addition to a successful career with a national disability and workers compensation organization, Tony has served with a boys’ home organization, working with disadvantaged and challenged adolescent boys. In 2011, along with sons Ray and Jake, Tony founded Jacob’s Ladder Special Needs Fitness, to provide much needed exercise for those with special needs. Jake D’Orazio is a 2019 Graduate of Strongsville (Ohio) High School, and is a certified group fitness instructor for individuals with special needs. Jake is CPR certified, and currently works as a Down to Box boxing instructor for individuals with special needs. Jake loves the Lord Jesus, his mom and dad, and all Rocky movies.
