While we’ve had many years of travel speaking together on marriage, discipleship, and other topics, we are seldom alone and “just us”. Cindi’s sister and now our daughters Kristina and Kathleen and families have and will care for Joey when we have a ministry opportunity and travel. Even in those opportunities, sometimes to groups of 500-1500, we are often meeting the needs of others in conversation, and it is certainly rewarding, but tiring.
In the everyday…we are seldom alone. Recently Joey has been able to join a day care program that is faith-based and fabulous, which has been great for him….and us, because for years he hasn’t had a “place” besides with us. That isn’t a complaint, just a fact. Certainly, we have had times of wonderful travel alone as a couple, but the overall is it’s not 2 of us; it’s 3 of us.
You may connect with us that this 3-some often makes things challenging, like:
Difficulty meeting friends out for a meal or simply coffee
Listening to radio, television, or other media isn’t always with the ability to see or listen to the end due to a “need” our son might have
Finding time for conversational and sexual intimacy when the child gets up at all hours
Our time isn’t “our” time. We are always on “watch” and ready to meet needs. So, getting involved in a project or opportunity, we need to be able to cover for each other.
While this applies to us and other couples, the situation is even more challenging for someone who is parenting alone for whatever their reason. There is a needed back-up plan for everything without a spouse or other help.
Image from @foxxmd on Unsplash
It’s the challenge of the call.
We need to recognize it’s our life and rise to the many occasions to which we are called. EASY? NO, but necessary. Then learn to enjoy those simple seldom moments we get to ourselves. Rest. Travel. Reading. Oh, and all of it with a good attitude, another challenge!
Consider how this looks for you and make changes as you’re able. Remember to allow time for the lane changes in your life. Use your turn signal and get off the road for time just for you!
Dr. Joe and Cindi Ferrini share their newest book: Love All-Ways: Embracing Marriage Together on the Special Needs Journey (order at www.cindiferrini.com). They are authors, speakers, and bloggers for several blogging sites on marriage, family and special needs. They spoke nationally for FamilyLife Weekend To Remember Marriage Get-a-Ways for 20 years, authored *Unexpected Journey – When Special Needs Change our Course, and have been interviewed on Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, Janet Parshall at “In the Market”, and various other radio and television venues. Connect with them at: www.cindiferrini.com
and via social media at:
www.facebook.com/cindi.ferrini
