Are you scrounging for thankfulness this holiday season? Holidays can be a challenge for those walking through hard days. Perhaps you feel like you've been handed the short-end of the stick; your child is struggling, you’re exhausted and it seems like everybody else has life with a bit more gravy. It’s easy to focus on our circumstances, take stock of what we have and where we are and end up feeling completely void of thankfulness. Is there a cure for this?
I first suspected I had ADHD as a teenager, but finding the right professional to take me seriously was much harder than I expected. Previous attempts only ended in frustration and tears.
Enjoying the holidays with a food allergy sounds like an oxymoron doesn’t it? After all, eating together is an integral component of the holiday season. I looked forward to making our traditional holiday foods until I was diagnosed with a dairy allergy in 2012. What was to enjoy about the holidays when the foods associated with it were off limits to me?
It was a short, ten-minute drive from the hotel to the residential facility. I maintained composure while I navigated the busy public roads, and then residential streets. I had a whole range of emotions racing through my body, mind and spirit as we pulled into the campus. This was not just a pleasure drive or a routine errand, this was a significant milestone in the life of my son and our family.
While Halloween is a fun time of year for many children, it can be a really difficult time for some, including many children with additional/special needs. For them it can be a confusing, anxiety-inducing, or even utterly terrifying time. But it doesn’t have to be like that. If we stop for a moment to think about the things they might find hard and how to put things in place to help them, children with special needs can safely join in the fun, too. So what are some of the things about Halloween that children with additional needs can find hard?
Parents of children with disabilities face unique challenges that can make the journey of parenting even more demanding. While advice like “practice self-care” is common, it doesn’t always provide the deep, meaningful support parents truly need. So, here are some unique and uncommon ways to find joy and strength as a parent.
Parenting a child with disabilities can mean celebrating milestones that may seem small to others but are monumental for your family. Take time to celebrate those moments with pride and joy. It could be as simple as sharing a video of your child’s new achievement with friends or throwing a mini party when they reach a personal goal. Celebrating these moments helps remind you that progress, no matter the pace, is still progress—and it deserves recognition.
A personal joy journal is a space where you can document the beautiful moments of the day—even the tiniest ones. Whether it's a smile from your child or five minutes of peace with a cup of tea, jot it down. Reflect on these small but significant moments of happiness. This can shift your focus from the stress to the joy that often gets overshadowed. Over time, you’ll have a collection of moments that serve as a reminder of the love, hope, and resilience within your journey.
Often, parents of children with disabilities find their social circles shrinking. Cultivate friendships that bring you energy and life. Be intentional about reconnecting with old friends who lift you up or forging new bonds with people who truly understand your journey. Encourage reciprocal friendships—ones where you give and receive support without feeling drained. This not only nourishes you but can create a meaningful support network around you.
Image from @scoutcity on Unsplash
Rest doesn’t always mean sleep or relaxation. For some parents, engaging in a creative hobby can be incredibly rejuvenating. Whether it’s painting, gardening, or writing, engaging in an activity that sparks your creativity can help you recharge emotionally. Creating something of your own allows you to express feelings that words might not capture and can become an outlet for healing.
We often hear about extending compassion to others but practicing it for ourselves is equally important. Give yourself permission to have tough days. On those days, remind yourself that it's okay if things don’t go according to plan, and you don’t have to meet every expectation. Compassion towards yourself also means accepting help when it’s offered and understanding that you don’t need to do everything perfectly.
For parents of children with disabilities, it can feel like you’re constantly giving. Create a system with other parents where you exchange small gestures of support—like cooking extra dinner for one another, offering to pick up groceries, or giving an hour of respite care. These exchanges build a sense of community and help parents feel supported without the feeling of burden.
In the rush of caring for your child and managing life, it’s easy to forget to give yourself grace. Designate a physical space in your home that reminds you of this—perhaps a corner with comfortable seating, calming music, or meaningful quotes. Spend time here when you need to decompress or remind yourself that it’s okay to pause and breathe.
Supporting parents of children with disabilities means understanding that their journey is unique, and their needs may not always fit into typical solutions. By focusing on meaningful, intentional actions, both parents and those who support them can create spaces of genuine care and compassion.
Written by Terisha Lee, PhD a Practical Theologian and Parent Educator. For more information about Terisha and her work please visit DrTerishaLee.com.
Margaret Vasquez explained that emotions aren’t who we are. Rather, they are similar to physical sensations. When we feel something hot, cold, sharp, or painful, our bodies are alerting us to approach with caution something in our environment. When we feel emotions––big and small––our mind is alerting us to something internal that deserves our attention.
“My daughter has changed so much in this area during her 18 years of life. It’s progress, and it’s a small thing that I appreciate as her mother now. During those years when it didn’t go well, they were hard. Haircuts haven’t been the only area of growth. I recall being completely anxious every time I left the house with my daughter alone as she would run off and not respond to my pleas to stop. The running off and the anxiousness eventually stopped, but life was hard until then.” Evana Sandusky
Like a new outfit that looks crisp and sharp or an old outfit that is so worn out it’s comfy and we wear it all the time….is often how we wear the banner of the special needs journey. How does it look on us? On you? Is our attire crisp and sharp or rather worn out? Cindi Ferrini writes on how YOU wear special needs and caregiving.
