Shortly before Dr. Grcevich’s book Mental Health and the Church was published, we asked our readers to share their experiences, both good and bad, about mental health needs and church support. We continue to get responses, and want to share a few that we have received since we made our initial request, for the insight that churches and ministries can glean from the experiences of others. Some experiences are good, some experience obviously are bad. Names and some identifying information has been changed to protect confidentiality.
From Anne, a woman with Asperger’s/high functioning autism and bipolar disorder: A little more than a year ago, God led me to a new church. My previous church was very supportive when I was healthy, when I shared about God’s grace and hope. When I was ill or in the hospital, hardly anyone visited me. Last summer, after joining the new church, I was in crisis and afraid to talk with anyone in my new church. I was preparing to go on a mission trip to serve families with autistic children. My mission team leader was compassionate and genuinely caring. Others in the church showed me much caring and love, too. My therapist was surprised I did not need hospitalization in that crisis, but I knew it was because of the support from my new church.
From Jane, whose adult son has autism: When my son was a young man, he committed a felony theft. I was in shock and reached out to my pastor. Explaining this and other things, the pastor literally sat back and said, “Wow, I don’t know what I can do but pray.” But the pastor also took my son under his wing, and visited with him every Sunday before the church service. He formed a tremendous bond with my son. When the pastor retired, no one else has been able to take his spot and show the love of Christ so effectively.
From Karen, who is a foster parent: My church has always been supportive, and when I began fostering and adopted my youngest children, I felt confident relationships would grow at church for these children. Unfortunately, it's been several years since I adopted, and most in leadership still do not know my children’s names. I have been heartbroken over the missed opportunities to pour into the lives of these hurting children, who obviously could have been blessed by mentorship and companionship. The youngest child in my care has suffered traumatic, very obvious brain injury. The needs of the other child were less visible but just as real. I have learned mental illness is a big part of foster care, both for the children and parents. This is a ministry that cannot continue to be ignored, because of its vicious cycle. I sometimes think the battles required to fight for the hurting are one of the biggest forms of spiritual warfare.
From Tammy, whose young adult daughter has both mental and physical illness: My daughter began displaying symptoms of mental illness in middle school. Her physical health issues were not discovered and diagnosed until she was a young adult, but they were severe and are connected to her mental illness. When my daughter was a young teen, we attended a small local church. We found very little support from the leadership at the church except, “We will pray for you.” Adults who had known my daughter since she was a young child could have reached out, but instead withdrew, and began to encourage her peers to not spend time with her. We later found out that many of these peers had bullied my daughter for several years with many adult church leaders’ knowledge, and without sharing these concerns with us. The longer she struggled emotionally and spiritually, the less welcome we all felt. Many people verbally stated her problem was a spiritual problem. The youth ministry was woefully inept. My daughter now recounts bitterly, “They were too busy trying to save me; they ignored the things I needed the most, like friendship.” Her belief system is now disconnected from our grace and gospel oriented church, which no doubt is in part because of the way she was treated there. I have to wonder if the church had understood more about and been more understanding of her mental health problems if this disconnect would not have occurred.
We know ministry of any kind is a tough job. We share both the good and the bad experiences in the effort to be iron sharpening iron. Key Ministry exists to connect churches and families with hidden disabilities, particularly mental illness, to make disciples of Jesus. If you would like to share an experience with us, rather than posting in the comments, please email me at catherine@keyministry.org to protect the confidentiality of all involved.
Catherine Boyle is the Director of Mental Health Ministry for Key Ministry. You can follow her work here or on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and www.catherineboyle.com.
