This is the third and final post in the series: Churches That Encourage Adoption Should Be Trauma Informed and Disability Accommodating. Read Part 1 and Part 2.
Now that we understand the challenges children may have with behavior, based on the trauma they have experienced, let us focus on how to meet needs at different stages of development.
Preschool Ministry
Adopted children with special needs at the preschool age can usually start out in classes with their same-age peers. At the earliest stages, most of the modifications necessary are to the environment: having appropriate toys, taking extra safety precautions, being sensitive to food allergies or restrictions. As the children grow, the gap may widen between what they can do, compared to their typical peers.
Most churches choose to keep preschool children with special needs in the class that best fits their developmental stage, instead of their age. For example, a child who is late to walk is kept with the crawlers because it is a safer environment. Volunteers may need training on how to meet the needs of children who do not meet all the typical milestones with their peers, or behave as expected. Teachers and volunteers may need to adjust expectations and be sensitive to protecting a child's dignity when, for example, she potty trains later than her peers, and must leave the "big kid" class to get a diaper changed in a room with a changing table.
Amy Fenton Lee writes, "The educational and therapeutic settings are all about achievement. But that isn't what a relationship with Jesus Christ is about." Children in our preschool classes need to hear Jesus loves them and has a plan for their lives. We want them to enjoy coming to church and be safe.
Elementary-Age Ministry
The age when most children—adopted and biological—will receive a diagnosis for a mental health condition (such as ADD or ADHD) or a learning disability is during the transition into kindergarten or first grade. This is a time to support the parents and the child. Good communication is essential. The ministry’s role is to serve and support families while communicating the gospel. Churches can learn from educational and therapeutic settings, but the goal is not to replicate them. The goal is always the gospel. There are a variety of models to help ministries be able to meet the needs of the children, and communicate the gospel effectively.
The most important tool our church uses to meet this goal is what we call Individualized Spiritual Plans (similar to the Individual Education Plans students have at school). Creating ISPs for the students in your ministry will help the entire team be on the same page with the goals that are set for the student and the supports needed to reach those goals. The ISPs include modifications to the lessons, activities, and environment.
Our ISPs take into consideration the student’s likes, dislikes, strengths, goals, and behaviors. We decide on the goals after we get to know the student, and talk to the parents about what goals they have while their child is with us at church. The student is also invited to be part of the discussion about the goals he/she wants to set and meet, when the student is able.
Understanding how our students learn best helps us know how to communicate the gospel. If we do not get to know the students and their abilities, we may be communicating in ways that just sound like noise. We can apply Paul’s advice to the church in Corinth as we think about how to best communicate the gospel and adjust for our students:
“In the same way, unless you use your tongue for intelligible speech, how will what is spoken be known? For you will be speaking into the air. There are doubtless many different kinds of languages in the world, none is without meaning. Therefore, if I do not know the meaning of the language, I will be a foreigner to the speaker, and the speaker will be a foreigner to me. So also you—since you are zealous for spiritual gifts, seek to excel in building up the church.”
We do not want to sound like foreigners when teaching the good news of the gospel. Knowing how our students learn best will help us communicate clearly and build up the church.
The ISP goals set for the student can determine his/her placement. There are three common options for disability ministry: buddies in the existing/typical classes, a sensory room class, or a hybrid of both. After setting goals and discussing them with the parents, it is easy to show the parents which option is best for their child. Amy Fenton Lee writes, "While full inclusion inside our churches is ideal, that goal is secondary to making the gospel fully accessible."
Many churches are adopting the buddy ministry format to meet the needs of students who need extra help. There is even a biblical example we can learn from. Exodus 4:10-16 gives a biblical model for having help to fulfill what God calls us to do. As we read, Moses had a calling he could not fulfill on his own. He said he was slow of speech and could not stand before Pharaoh and speak for God. God answered that He knew exactly what limitations held Moses back. In fact, He responded that even those limitations were part of His plan. Then God provided Aaron as a helper. Aaron was strong where Moses was weak.
This dependence on others is a major characteristic of the Christian life. We were not created to do it all on our own. This dependence also reflects “one body with many members” from 1 Corinthians 12. Having a teen or adult buddy come alongside a child with a disability shows care and concern for that student. It reflects the interdependence we all have on each other.
Teen Ministry
As adopted children move into adolescence, new challenges and opportunities arise. At this age, more students are struggling with mental health diagnoses that affect their participation at church. As previously discussed, trauma can change the brain and how it functions. Puberty also changes the brain and how it functions. Dr. Keck writes,
The adolescent brain is very much a work in progress—just like the adolescent himself—and is responsible for both fueling and dousing the fires that are so typical at this age. One part of the adolescent brain, the limbic system, is responsible for impulsivity, risk-taking, sexual drive, and emotional responses. Another part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex, is responsible for emotional and behavioral regulation, task accomplishment, organization, planning, rational thinking, and decision making. Imagine that these two components are engaged in an ongoing tug of war throughout adolescence.
The challenges for inclusion and accommodations change as well, but the foundational steps taken by preschool and children's ministries can be built on and utilized in the youth group setting so participants can be successful at church. Students with significant or profound disabilities likely will continue to feel most comfortable in a class designed to meet their needs. At this age, churches could have a reverse inclusion class. It meets the needs of the participants by using curriculum and doing activities on their level, and includes typical peers to provide socialization.
Churches can continue to provide buddy help for teens who attend the regular youth ministry activities. Often college students and young adults are a great fit as buddies for teens. Amy Fenton Lee writes, "The goal of a buddy should never be to isolate and separate, but to encourage and facilitate full participation to the best of the student's ability."
Youth group leaders can also employee the strategies of writing ISPs for their students who struggle, keeping in mind the additional social pressures of this age. For example, a student with dyslexia may have in her ISP that she isn't asked to read a Bible passage out loud. A student with social anxiety may feel comfortable helping the adults serve breakfast, so he sees the other students who are there that morning, and can decide who he is most comfortable sitting with.
Social challenges can be a big factor at this age, determining whether or not a family feels comfortable and welcome in a church. Although youth ministry leaders cannot force teens to be friends with each other, they can model and teach how to be friendly and welcoming to those they consider different or even challenging to include. Having teens serve in the children's ministry as buddies helps them grow in compassion and friendship with peers who have disabilities as well. Disability ministry can change the DNA of church for the better, including the youth ministry.
Sandra Peoples is a special-needs mom and sibling. She and her family live outside of Houston, TX. Sandra is currently a PhD student at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in family ministry with an emphasis on inclusion for special-needs families. She is the disability ministry consultant for the Southern Baptists of Texas Convention and an adjunct professor for Liberty University, teaching classes in disability ministry. Sandra the author of Unexpected Blessings: The Joys and Possibilities of Life in a Special-Needs Family. You can connect with her at sandrapeoples.com.
