“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.…” Romans 8:1 NASB
This morning, as I planned for the day, I saw that my son’s physical therapist would be coming to the house this afternoon. Then I remembered that exactly one week ago, she spent much of the session teaching me some important stretches I should start doing with him daily. She had also emailed me the program with photos and descriptions, in case I wasn’t clear on any of it. For a split second this morning, I felt like the worst mom in the world. We had a busy week. I never did one stretch, not for the whole week.
I feel like another parent out there needs to know this today. Even us “expert” bloggers and speakers, the “we’ve got our act together” special needs advocates who guide and advise you, we drop the ball. None of us do it all, none of us do everything perfectly.
This morning there was a moment when I felt like a failure, but that feeling quickly passed. I remembered how several years back, that feeling often lingered with me for days at a time, how I secretly felt like I was woefully inadequate in my discipline, research, and resolve to do all the things a special needs child required. I was reminded how something like this would have spurred loads of negative self-talk. The comparisons I used to make to the perfect moms I invented in my head were never-ending.
This morning, when I realized I’d completely forgotten to begin our new home program, I got mad at myself for a minute, and then I began to pray. I asked my Heavenly Father to help me. I asked the Holy Spirit to remind me of the stretches, show me new systems to put in place in our rigid daily routine, and where the stretches and exercises would fit in the schedule. I asked for grace to get it all done, and thanked God for this new therapist who was pushing me to do new things.
And then I felt peace. I felt no weight, no condemnation or guilt. I know that “new” takes time, and if I messed up last week there’s always this week, and the next.
God did not look upon me with disappointment this week. He doesn’t shake His head in disapproval whenever we mess up or drop the ball. He could not be more proud of you, even on the days when you do everything wrong. I wish someone had told me that years ago, when I struggled with my perceived inadequacy to do this job, to run this marathon of special needs parenting. Today I’m telling you: it’s okay!
The next time you hear negative self-talk starting in your head, shut it down and talk to God instead. Pour it out on His kind, gracious ears, and walk away with that burden lifted instead of beaten down, with a confidence that you can do whatever is required, when you rely on Him.
But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NASB
Follow Melanie Gomez at https://redefinespecial.com and on Facebook.
