"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:8 NIV
The special needs parenting journey can be exhausting, overwhelming and full of loneliness, challenges, and struggles. It can be easy to focus on how hard things are. But with Thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner, I find the whole month of November to be the perfect time to reflect on the things that I am thankful for. It’s a great time to flip my mindset, to focus not just on the busyness and stress, but onto the blessings, and having a heart of gratitude and thankfulness. Once I get started thinking this way, I realize there really are a lot of things to be thankful for.
Today, I'd like to share with you five things I am thankful for in this special needs journey.
1) Progress
It's so easy to focus on all the areas where our children are struggling, their weaknesses, and how far they are behind their peers.
In the Genesis account of God creating the world, He said "it was good" after everything He created. He didn't just say "it was good" when it was all done. We must do that too. Celebrate the little victories as well as the big. Celebrate not just the huge milestones, but every little inch in between. And whether they've made a lot of progress or just a little, progress is progress and I'm very thankful for it!
I'm thankful for each new word or phrase out of my sons' mouths. I'm thankful for the positive changes I've seen in their behaviors. I'm thankful for the growth, no matter how slow it may seem sometimes. I'm thankful that they're learning new things at school, at church, at their therapies, and at home, and each of the things they've learned is worth celebrating.
2) Strength
Being a special needs parent molds you into a different person. Sometimes it's easy to feel stressed out and exhausted, but when I really think about it, I realize that I've become stronger since becoming a special needs parent. I've become more determined, more resilient, more organized, more vocal in advocating for my childrens' needs, more compassionate toward others. I'm thankful for that.
But the way I've grown the strongest? My faith. Sure, I've questioned God a lot in this journey, but I also trust Him more than I ever did before. I need to rely on God like never before. My faith is totally different now than it was six or seven years ago, when my older son started getting diagnosis after diagnosis. I am so very thankful for that. He has proven His faithfulness to me and my family over and over again, and while I may not always see it at the moment, looking back I can see God's hand continually upon our family.
3) Community
I'll admit, I've lost a few friends in this special needs journey. But I've gained so many more. Whether I met them online or God's allowed our paths to cross in real life, I've met people I never would have had the opportunity to meet otherwise on this special needs parenting journey.
And I'm so thankful for each and every one of my friends, family members, my children's teachers and therapists. They say it takes a village to raise a child and I'm so grateful for mine, for all the people who pour into my children in ways I cannot, and celebrate with me every new bit of progress.
4) Education
I have a Master's degree in secondary English education, so I thought I was pretty well educated before I became a special needs parent. The things I've learned since this special needs parenting journey began are priceless to me. I devour books on sensory processing, speech and language, and constantly consult Google about other things I want to learn more about. I've learned a whole new language of medical terms, therapies, diets and supplements. I appreciate all the new things I've learned that have helped me care for my own children, and I'm always thankful when I'm able to share my new insights with others.
This new education I've attained has opened my eyes to a bigger world than I had previously experienced: a world where I now have more compassion, more understanding, more passion for advocating for what is best for each and every child. The way I teach my students is different now because of all the things I've learned from my own children, and from having the experience of sitting on both ends of the IEP table. I am thankful for that as well.
And last, but definitely not least,
5) My Children
I loved my children even before they were born. And when both of them received diagnosis after diagnosis, I grieved. I cried. I feared for their future. I've compared them to other kids and felt devastated at how far behind they are their peers.
But I'm thankful I have the privilege of watching them blossom in their own way. I'm proud of how hard they work to learn what comes so easily to others. I'm proud of their little hearts and how they show love to others. I love the gifts and talents and passions God gave them. I love how they are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:13-14). I love celebrating with them when they learn a new word or a new skill. They bring so much joy and purpose to my life and I am so thankful that God gave them to me.
There's so much more I have to be thankful for, but I think now it's your turn. What you are thankful for in your own special needs parenting journey?
Jenn Soehnlin is a middle school English teacher and a mother to two young boys who are precious blessings and who both have special needs. She is the author of Embracing This Special Life: Learning to Flourish as a Mother of a Child with Special Needs. Jenn enjoys blogging about faith, praying scripture, and special needs parenting at www.embracing.life. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
