As we transition from “Stay Home” to “Stay Safe,” a quick return to life in community is unlikely for those of us who have vulnerable family members. In the meantime, I am hearing many families express heightened fears and concerns about the costs of an extended isolation period. The situation has me reflecting on something that happened two decades ago when our daughter was diagnosed with Angelman Syndrome.

Carly was two and a half years old when she had her first grand mal status seizure and started taking heavy doses of anti-convulsant medications. I still remember that first Sunday at church following several days of scary, uncontrolled seizures. One of the widows in our congregation was a prayer warrior and friend. She came up to me asking how Carly was doing. She was clearly eager to pray but started by asking a couple of questions about what the doctors were saying and what they had recommended we do. I explained that they had started Carly on some powerful medications and I mentioned our concerns about the potential long-term effects of those medications. With a thoughtful pause, a firm look in her eye and confident compassion, my friend said something I have never forgotten:

“We are going to keep praying for God’s healing work in Carly. And if that’s what the doctors say Carly needs, then we will pray it works exactly as they hope. We will pray that the medication does what it is supposed to do — no more and no less. We will pray against side effects. We will pray that the medications do no damage and that Carly will be able to stop taking them as soon as God wills. And we will pray that He gives you and Larry wisdom to know if and when that time comes.”

In that moment, the situation felt settled. I think I looked at her wide-eyed with a sense that she had both covered Carly with an anointed prayer and poured wisdom into me that would reap benefits for a lifetime. All I could do was hug that dear woman with tears falling down my cheeks in thanksgiving for her grace and wisdom. Her prayer has become a model for many of my own. I thank God for her profound influence on my faith and my manner of ministry.

Now we are facing the COVID-19 pandemic, and this kind of prayer has been a whisper on my lips for my family and others. I’ve been reading social media comments and hearing my counseling clients describe fears, frustrations and challenges:

Fears about the virus’ potential impact on our medically-vulnerable family members
Questions about how to balance trust in God with wise personal healthcare strategies
Impatience with a lockdown season that isn’t likely to end soon for the vulnerable, even though others are now venturing out
Concerns about our child’s confusion and anxiety about being socially isolated and limited in activities
A sense of insufficiency and overwhelm while trying to prioritize learning over education
Worry that hard-earned skills will be lost
Overwhelm that our child with disabilities may require a more demanding level of care after the pandemic if this season causes him/her to significantly regress
Discomfort with asking for prayer (e.g., will we “wear out our welcome” with such chronic needs? Will people misunderstand or judge our choices? Will we be forgotten and then feel new wounds of hurt or disappointment? Will God make us wait for help or answers and test us beyond exhaustion?)

Up to this point, my own household has not become sick from COVID-19. But the virus certainly is making a mark on us. As a family, we find it helpful to have occasional conversations about our frustrations and sorrows. The sting of losses, disappointments and grief has been brutal, at times. But there is also encouragement and that’s where we are trying to keep our focus. In fact, I’ve been keeping a running list in the notes on my phone to keep me accountable to focusing on positives, so that we never forget the ways God has been faithful to minimize the losses and multiply the gains.

These are some ways we are seeing God’s faithfulness—so far—in this pandemic season, with our daughter Carly:

She is learning to take turns and follow more social cues. I attribute this to the frequent use of things like FaceTime, Marco Polo and Zoom.
She is vocalizing more often and this may be because the boredom at home caused us to pull out her therapeutic listening program. Sometimes she’s screaming in frustration, but finding more vocal control has appeared quite empowering for her.
We’ve learned several new ASL signs. Each of us has been more focused during Zoom signing circle tutoring sessions than we were when doing it in person. And we’re more intentional about practicing signs when we play Farkle with grandma or friends via Zoom.
Carly is learning to throw Farkle dice with intention, rather than pushing them away or violently thrashing against having expectations placed on her. Her attention for the game lasts about three turns or 15 minutes now, compared to one turn and 5 minutes pre-COVID.
She’s learning to power ON her own electronic toys. With limited fine motor skills, she interacts with toys much like a 12-month old and we’ve worked on higher level interactions without success for years—until now.
She has started shutting car doors for herself and pushing the garage door button.
She has started independently placing her small pillow on the clothes dryer after being dressed for bed on a changing table in the laundry room. This is enormous breakthrough following more than a year of nightly efforts (sometimes all-out war) to teach personal responsibility.

Until God releases us from threats like COVID-19, my family leans hard into prayer. In many ways, we’re paraphrasing again that very helpful prayer from so many years ago. I hope extended families, friends and churches will join us too.

“Lord God, if social distancing and strategic hygiene are what leaders and medical professional believe is necessary, then make good of our best efforts. Holy Spirit, we ask You to minimize losses and multiply the gains associated with things like isolation, sickness, job limitations and school closures. We believe there is no damage the lockdown can do that You can’t reverse or use for the benefit of Your Kingdom. Please give us wisdom to know the best way and timing of ‘re-entry.’ Thank you for being our ultimate Protector. Encourage your people. Use this season to grow our compassion for one another. Help us to do life in alignment with You, empowered by Your authority and anchored in Your hope. May our joy in You be the strength that gets us through.”

Lisa Jamieson is a caregiver consultant, pastoral counsellor and author of popular books and Bible studies including Finding Glory in the Thorns and Jesus, Let’s Talk. Lisa and her husband, Larry, live in Minnesota with the youngest of their three grown daughters, Carly, who has Angelman Syndrome. Together, the Jamiesons founded Walk Right In Ministries in 2008, a non-profit organization building faith and community with special needs families.