Seasons help us to realize we’re not alone. We might still feel alone but we can see things differently and then change our thinking, and even our responses. We know everyone goes through “stuff” but sometimes we need to recognize it just happens to be our turn. The harder part is that we still have someone we are caring for full time, 24/7 added to the new hard stuff!
For families like mine, with an autistic child and my own ADHD and anxiety, Christmas is rarely “calm” or “bright.” In fact, it is often loud, noisy, and overwhelming. Our children get overwhelmed by the lights and the new items. We, as parents, get overwhelmed by all the mess and noise. There are so many sensory inputs flowing through that you feel like you are in a never-ending vacuum of noise. And, that doesn’t even take into account that I’m operating on just a few hours of sleep after leading multiple Christmas services as a pastor.
Ruth saw a bright future for herself. She didn’t have an exact plan in front of her. But at 18, she vaguely knew what she wanted in the future: a master’s degree, a husband, a job she enjoyed, and children. Emma was on another path altogether. When Emma turned 18, she was already enrolled in a school for students with more significant disabilities.
Zechariah, despite being visited by an angel, doubted what he had been told, and so Gabriel told him that because of this doubt, Zechariah would not be able to speak until his son was born. So, he became unable to speak, and therefore unable to communicate through speech. What did he do? And what does his story teach us about people who cannot communicate by speech, or choose not to, today?
There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
We were supposed to introduce ourselves to the other moms at our round table by saying our names and three quick facts about ourselves. When it was my turn, I said, "My name is Jenn, and I have two boys, and I am a special needs mom and...um..."I froze. My life revolved around the needs and endless appointments of my kids. I could not think of a single “other thing“ to say about me.
Whether it’s with my neighbors, the people with whom I minister; my family, my friends, the people with whom I disagree, or people I just don’t really care for, I realize that I need to be mindful of my directive: to sincerely want and need to CONNECT more than I want to CONFRONT. Here are some quick and easy steps for each of us to consider and when to take action.
We all love our children with special needs, caring for them with all the love we have inside of us. While love is the biggest most important thing we have going for us in this unexpected journey, there are indeed other things needed to get us to the finish line! Here are five that have been important to our family.
