Last year was crazy, ya know? It was overwhelming, jolting, stressful, wonderful, beautiful, and blessed. So many crazy amazing lessons were to be found in 2020. For many of us with mental health issues, we have seen new views of our mental illness. I know, I personally experienced a quarantine that triggered my PTSD, made countless amazing memories with my children, and had to re-imagine what special needs ministry looks like in a COVID-ridden world.
God still showed up in 2020. He has been faithful, but that doesn’t mean we have to deny how hard it is was. I have witnessed a more global understanding of mental illness. People are finally getting it, and that is amazing! Praise the Lord!
Well, it’s a new year, which means many people are making resolutions. I am the worst at making and keeping resolutions. Seriously…I think I’ve done it once. But this year, I have some specific ones I know I need to keep for my health. I hope you will commit to one or more of these with me.
1. Pray often and honestly. I have never been one to candy-coat things for anyone—but somehow, my prayer life became, “Hey, thanks God, love ya, dude. Hey, can you help this person ‘cuz they told me to ask you to. So yeah, amen.” In early December, I decided that is not what God wanted from me. Just the other day, I had 14 people text me, “How are you holding up?” (My stepmom died recently). And I didn’t answer them. Fifteen minutes later, I was in the car telling God I had literally no idea, and how I think it’s kind of stupid that there’s not a clear answer to this question. I proceeded to list off the following emotions: I am sad, I am weak, I am angry, I am distracted, I am numb, I am anxious, I am overwhelmed, and frankly, I’m not sure that even covers it. But I am still totally Yours, just so Ya know. I have resolved this year to pray like that.
2. Learn to say no. Say no when the yes either takes up more time than I can commit to or requires I devalue the giftings and callings God has given me. I don’t do anyone any favors by denying what I was called to do, just so I can say yes to those for whom I am ill-equipped to help. I will begin setting up clear boundaries that honor both the person asking and my real abilities to either do something with excellence, or pass on a burden that wasn’t meant to be mine.
Photo credit: Ben White on Unsplash.com.
3. Accept accolades. I will do my best to stop correcting or devaluing when people compliment me. Years of trauma and abuse have told me positive statements about me are all lies, but God tells me I am treasured, loved, able, and worth celebrating. I’ll begin being intentional about practicing the still uncomfortable but necessary art of the thank you. Deflecting both devalues me and teaches other people what to think of me. It makes others uncomfortable and denies the giftings God has given me. I will become better at accepting compliments and expressions of thanks with humble gratefulness.
4. Be open. I will be more open and honest about my mental health so that others who struggle in silence see that they don’t have to. I will stop telling people that when they hurt me, it’s no big deal. That makes it impossible for me to form strong relationships with people for whom I greatly care. I will instead be respectful and honest about how I am feeling, giving the other person a chance to learn more about what hurts me.
5. Talk. This one relates to “be open.” I will find three people with whom I can talk openly and honestly about any mental health struggles I am facing. They will be people who I trust to pray with me as well.
6. Remembrance. I will be more intentional about writing down what God has done for me. I will intentionally record what God is saying to me and how it impacts me, so in the darkest times, I can look back and remember His faithfulness.
It’s going to be a year of growth for me, no matter what COVID brings. I pray it can be for you, too. We are not able to remove our mental illnesses completely by sheer willpower and good boundaries. But we can help improve our mental wellness by using them as tools for which they were intended. Maybe you need to add some therapy or medication to your list! That’s fantastic, and if you need that, you should definitely do that. I have.
I pray these goals are useful for you in the upcoming year: that you end 2021 with a more honest relationship with God, better boundaries, a more Bible-based understanding of who you are, a sense of strength that comes from your story, trusted friends, and a clearer view of how God has shown up in your life. He goes before us friends; we need not be afraid. Jesus wept too; we need not be ashamed.
Joanna French is the special needs pastor at Flint Hills Church, Junction City, KS. Joanna and her husband Jairmie have two boys with autism. In 2017, Joanna started Flint Hills Embrace with the goal to make Flint Hills Church a place where everyone belongs. Why? Because we all have a place in God's plan.
