Margaret Vasquez explained that emotions aren’t who we are. Rather, they are similar to physical sensations. When we feel something hot, cold, sharp, or painful, our bodies are alerting us to approach with caution something in our environment. When we feel emotions––big and small––our mind is alerting us to something internal that deserves our attention.
The world might seem to have a lot to offer, but as it applies to the caring of a child or loved one with special needs, it offers us things that won’t make us happy and won’t deliver what we need. The world will always lack authenticity and the act of serving will not be very high on the rung of the ladder, by world standards.
God convicted me. He challenged how much I believed it. What would my and my husband’s actions tell us? Were we believing God for His plan for our son, or were we expecting Him to help with ours? Were we open to the possibility that His plans might be different from what we’ve envisioned?
Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities? Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities during his frequent medical crises as a baby? Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities when he was a young adult? Do I trust his plans now?
When we care for our child(ren) with special needs, it’s self-sacrificing. It is more than a “job” as some might say, it is an undertaking (as one of my friends shared so succinctly with me). Yet some of us have a different level and depth of care. Although our son needs 24/7 attention and care, he can do a good number of things on his own. Cindi Ferrini shares the difference between Self-less and Selfless.
Some days I just miss the normalcy of life. Some days I pretend we’re just like anybody else. Like this morning. I took my son up to my room with me and played a silent rebellion against the litany of medications waiting to be given, the nurse scheduled to arrive in an hour and respiratory treatments waiting to be done.
When my son was diagnosed with autism more than thirty years ago, I put on my yellow rescue vest, and rarely take it off. I’ve discovered that my work as rescuer has bled over into the rest of my life. I need to let go of the myth that I have the power to rescue or change anyone but myself. God is inviting me to take off the yellow rescue vest and let God be God!
