There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
How many of us counted the cost (both emotionally and financially) of what it would take to raise a child and/or care for an aging parent? Many are doing both…Because we love our child, we don’t often consider the cost because we simply do what is needed and want the best for them.
My daughter arrived in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) in the middle of the night on the eve of Thanksgiving. A tough respiratory virus attacked her lungs, and she needed a substantial amount of oxygen support. And now, this unexpected illness meant Thanksgiving was going to be completely different than we had all planned.
Are you scrounging for thankfulness this holiday season? Holidays can be a challenge for those walking through hard days. Perhaps you feel like you've been handed the short-end of the stick; your child is struggling, you’re exhausted and it seems like everybody else has life with a bit more gravy. It’s easy to focus on our circumstances, take stock of what we have and where we are and end up feeling completely void of thankfulness. Is there a cure for this?
When we go through dark, lonely times it’s easy for our thinking to get cloudy, to forget the things we know, and to get confused. It’s easy to start believing lies instead of truth. During my doubting, fighting-daily-for-faith years, I started a list of thoughts I struggled with and Bible verses that I could go to in order to combat those lies or struggles. Here is my list; maybe you’ll find some of these helpful.
In one of our workshops, I ask the participants what their breaking point is and go on to share about a time when I had personally reached my breaking point. I find myself reflecting back on this moment, as I am again struggling with health issues and hovering on the brink of exhaustion, and vacillating between hopeful and overwhelmed as I consider all that needs to be done in so many areas of life.
During some seasons of our life, we had what seemed to be no free time whatsoever; at other times, we had some. We’ve had seasons when we don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But over time, we have purposed to take back the sound track of our life and change some of the noise into music we want to hear. We’ve learned the freedom experienced when we don’t have a lot of plates spinning. What are some things we can do to get to that place? Here are a few thoughts that with a little creativity can help us embrace this place.
As I reflected on Howard Thurman’s poem over the past several days, the proverbial light bulb suddenly switched on in a brain that's been dimmed by the too-muchness of Christmas. The "work of Christmas" of which the poet speaks is what we do every day as we parent children (and adult children) with disabilities.
For several years, a part of me dreaded the holiday season. By January 2nd—and sometimes long before that—I was exhausted, depressed and racked with guilt feelings for being self-centered and dragging others down with me. Thankfully, God has provided some tools that are softening the edges of my emotions and keeping me more mentally positive. I’m grateful to be learning about things that give me victory over the shadows.
