The world might seem to have a lot to offer, but as it applies to the caring of a child or loved one with special needs, it offers us things that won’t make us happy and won’t deliver what we need. The world will always lack authenticity and the act of serving will not be very high on the rung of the ladder, by world standards.
God convicted me. He challenged how much I believed it. What would my and my husband’s actions tell us? Were we believing God for His plan for our son, or were we expecting Him to help with ours? Were we open to the possibility that His plans might be different from what we’ve envisioned?
Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities? Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities during his frequent medical crises as a baby? Did I trust God’s plan for the life of my child with disabilities when he was a young adult? Do I trust his plans now?
When we care for our child(ren) with special needs, it’s self-sacrificing. It is more than a “job” as some might say, it is an undertaking (as one of my friends shared so succinctly with me). Yet some of us have a different level and depth of care. Although our son needs 24/7 attention and care, he can do a good number of things on his own. Cindi Ferrini shares the difference between Self-less and Selfless.
When people find out that I am a pediatric speech-language pathologist and the mother of a child with Down syndrome, I am often asked about the order of these life events. Did my daughter inspire my career or was it a coincidence?
Whether it’s being delayed on the roads, waiting to see a love one who lives far away or anticipating a fun vacation, being patient sure can be tough. Cooling our jets when it involves an illness, diagnosis or surgery for ourselves or a loved one can amp up the anxiety and feelings of defeat even more. Recently, my friends Ed and Jan showed me through their example how to wait with hope.
If all we do is share what we have with our friends and family—or, dare I say, our ‘clique’ within our congregation!—are we just sharing with those who might be useful to us in some way? Jesus is teaching us through His parables that we shouldn’t just pick our favorites for the team, choose only our friends for a meal, or reach out in ministry only to those who the world views as having influence or who can help us financially. And that must include children and young people with special/additional needs or disabilities.
Nothing I did as a mom seemed to help my son. None of the therapies; none of the love; none of the counseling—personal, marital, and family. Nothing could “fix” our son. But daily, as I sat and whispered Maranatha, Come Lord Jesus, the Lord showed up. He let me know that I was more than Joel’s mom, Matt and Justin’s mom, Wally’s wife. I belonged to God. I was rooted and grounded in God. My life had purpose. My true self began emerging.
