There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
How many of us counted the cost (both emotionally and financially) of what it would take to raise a child and/or care for an aging parent? Many are doing both…Because we love our child, we don’t often consider the cost because we simply do what is needed and want the best for them.
My daughter arrived in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) in the middle of the night on the eve of Thanksgiving. A tough respiratory virus attacked her lungs, and she needed a substantial amount of oxygen support. And now, this unexpected illness meant Thanksgiving was going to be completely different than we had all planned.
Are you scrounging for thankfulness this holiday season? Holidays can be a challenge for those walking through hard days. Perhaps you feel like you've been handed the short-end of the stick; your child is struggling, you’re exhausted and it seems like everybody else has life with a bit more gravy. It’s easy to focus on our circumstances, take stock of what we have and where we are and end up feeling completely void of thankfulness. Is there a cure for this?
Writer Annie Dillard says, “How we spend our days is how we spend our lives.” Those words may sound cruel to parents caught in the chaos of caregiving. There was a time in my life when I would have hated those words. While it was true that I couldn't decide what filled my hours and days, I could decide how to respond to the challenges our family faced.
Most men enjoy elements of competition in sports, education or career pursuits. And in the case of men who become a dad of a child with special needs, well, they quickly learn that their son or daughter isn’t going to perform, work, think, or be like other children. While we can still make sports analogies, the way it plays out is very different than expected. Instead of being in the sports arena with your child, Dad will be called to be a good sport in life! Here are three ways that God has helped us be good sports.
Whether we’re talking about our marriage relationship or relationships with friends, acquaintances or someone we’ve just met, I believe we have mastered the art of monologue and have no real idea how to have a genuinely sincere conversation. Here are ideas to help us to learn the “art of conversation” rather than the monotonous monologue we’re used to enduring or offering.
A question I get asked loads of times is this; “How can I explain special needs to children?” One suggestion I give to people trying to explain this to children is to gather them all together. Ask them what is different about each of them, compared to the rest of the group. It can also be helpful to think about popular children’s characters and discuss the differences between them. The characters in the A.A. Milne Winnie the Pooh stories offer a great example for younger children.
