Seasons help us to realize we’re not alone. We might still feel alone but we can see things differently and then change our thinking, and even our responses. We know everyone goes through “stuff” but sometimes we need to recognize it just happens to be our turn. The harder part is that we still have someone we are caring for full time, 24/7 added to the new hard stuff!
For families like mine, with an autistic child and my own ADHD and anxiety, Christmas is rarely “calm” or “bright.” In fact, it is often loud, noisy, and overwhelming. Our children get overwhelmed by the lights and the new items. We, as parents, get overwhelmed by all the mess and noise. There are so many sensory inputs flowing through that you feel like you are in a never-ending vacuum of noise. And, that doesn’t even take into account that I’m operating on just a few hours of sleep after leading multiple Christmas services as a pastor.
Ruth saw a bright future for herself. She didn’t have an exact plan in front of her. But at 18, she vaguely knew what she wanted in the future: a master’s degree, a husband, a job she enjoyed, and children. Emma was on another path altogether. When Emma turned 18, she was already enrolled in a school for students with more significant disabilities.
Zechariah, despite being visited by an angel, doubted what he had been told, and so Gabriel told him that because of this doubt, Zechariah would not be able to speak until his son was born. So, he became unable to speak, and therefore unable to communicate through speech. What did he do? And what does his story teach us about people who cannot communicate by speech, or choose not to, today?
There were young kids, teens, young adults, even his best friend, all playing together, learning and laughing. But, there was no sign of my child. I searching the parking lot where everyone was talking and hanging out with their families; not there either. Here is where most people panic. But, deep down I knew; look with the younger kids. It was there I found him, rolling down the hill, filled with that bold childhood laughter, having the time of his life. No pressure here. No one asking him to make quick decisions he had to worry about in that football game. There was only freedom and joy. I want him to be something he isn’t sometimes, but I’m learning to start finding the thankful in disability.
The first time the engine-shaped glowing light appeared on my car’s display, I took notice. But over time, I learned to ignore the light all together, until my car suddenly needed a new transmission. Parenting a child with special and medical needs has triggered all sorts of “warning lights” in my brain and body. Here’s how I learned to deal with these warning lights in healthy ways.
The question seems ludicrous, even unfeeling when I consider what my father, son, and now my mother experienced due to disability. So how is it, the day after Christmas, that I am grateful for the disabilities that continue to bring sorrow, pain, and loss to our family? Upon reflection, I see the answer in the smiles of my father, my son, and now my mother.
What will go wrong next? This question has come up on a daily basis for my family this summer. After digging into Acts 18:21, I now see how the hardships faced by the apostles make our recent experiences seem like a walk in the park. Instead of asking “What will go wrong next?” and worrying about what was out of my control, I followed the apostle’s example, rested in the sovereignty of God
Assistive communication technology was a big help for our son through school and his past 15-year work experience. Having limited speech until he was 12, our now 41-year-old son has found that sign language and this simple technology have aided him in better expressing himself. Each individual affected by special needs has various and different needs, abilities, and disabilities. By getting creative, you can tailor solutions specifically for your child to help them express their needs.
The time quarantined with 8 children, including five teenagers and one child with profound special needs, has been intense. Prior to the worldwide pandemic, my husband Ryan and I successfully prioritized self-care. We understand how fragile our mental health can become in stressful circumstances, having each experienced bouts of overwhelm, PTSD, and anxiety. May is Mental Health Awareness month. Here are ten routines we have incorporated to preserve the integrity of our well-being that may be helpful to others as well.
