In this episode of Key Ministry: The Podcast, Amy Kendall shares the value of having student volunteers in disability ministry. She highlights the unique energy, reliability, and relatability students bring, along with how serving builds their confidence and...
This episode of Key Ministry the Podcast, with Dr. Chris Hulshof, explores the difference between simply welcoming someone and truly offering them belonging in the body of Christ. Drawing from Acts 9 and Saul’s encounter with Ananias, we see that belonging is...
In a powerful conversation with Dr. Steve Grcevich on the Key Ministry Podcast, Jesslyn McCutcheon shares her deeply personal journey of living with bipolar disorder and following God’s call to advocate for others facing similar struggles. Her story is not just about...
Why nearly 9 out of 10 children with FASD are misdiagnosed—and how this impacts your family Zak was seven when he received his third diagnosis. First ADHD, then autism, now “emotional disturbance.” Each label came with new medications, different therapies, and...
This blog explores a Christian approach to mental health care through the insights of Dr. Warren Kinghorn, emphasizing the importance of seeing individuals as wayfarers on a spiritual journey rather than problems to be fixed. It highlights how faith, psychiatry, and...
In this episode of Key Ministry: The Podcast, Amy Kendall shares essential tools and tips for creating a sensory box to support individuals in special needs ministry. From oral motor chews and noise-canceling headphones to stress balls, fidget spinners, and liquid...
Disability ministry often draws from Matthew 25:40 — “whatever you did for the least of these...you did for me.” But is this passage really talking about individuals with disabilities? In this insightful podcast, Dr. Chris Hulshof challenges common assumptions and...
In 1987, I entered the Cannon House Office Building in Washington DC as a summer intern. A rising college senior, I was agog at my good fortune in getting a front row seat at how it all works in the House of Representatives. Little did I know that my most important...
Inspired by a conversation with Sandra Peoples, this podcast episode highlights the essential role of disability ministry in the church. It explores the theological foundation for inclusion and offers practical, low-cost strategies for creating accessible environments...
Quick, practical strategies for defusing crisis moments when traditional approaches fail It’s 7:43 AM. Your neurodiverse teen is melting down because their favorite shirt is in the wash, and the school bus arrives in twelve minutes. You’ve tried reasoning (didn’t...
Amy Kendall steps into the podcast with warmth, humor, and decades of lived experience in disability and mental health ministry. In this episode, she introduces herself, shares her journey through vocational ministry, and offers heartfelt wisdom for leaders and...
What does a theology of disability look like in a broken but beautiful world? Dr. Chris Hulshof invites us into a deep, honest, and hopeful conversation about where we are in God's story — a place he calls "life between the trees." Listen Anywhere You Find Podcasts!...
In this episode of the Key Ministry Podcast, Dr. Steve Grcevich speaks with Kim Botto about her book Boundless Hope, which equips churches to better welcome and support children with hidden disabilities, trauma histories, and big emotions. Kim shares personal stories,...
At the heart of Dr. Erik Carter’s Main Stage talk at Disability and the Church Conference 2025, lies a compelling vision: a church where everyone — no asterisks, no exceptions — is welcomed, valued, and needed. His message to ministry leaders and congregations is both...
At just 17, Ivy is proving that age is no barrier to purpose. What began as an idea sparked during a cooking summit has transformed into a thriving ministry—Cooking Capable—a hands-on, family-centered workshop series that teaches people of all abilities how to cook...
Recently, at Disability and the Church Conference 2025, Dr. Lamar Hardwick was awarded the President's Award and delivered a moving and powerful message about what it truly means to serve the disability community in the church. Drawing from personal experience and...
Enjoy this talk pulled from the archives of last year's Disability and the Church Conference by Kim Botto. Kim discusses ways to better include all kids in the Kingdom of God. Don't miss Kim Botto at this year's Disability and the Church Conference 2025. Find...
Elaina chats with Dr. Terisha Lee about her professional experience cultivating a relationship between social services & practical theology. They also discuss the upcoming Disability and the Church Conference, and Dr. Lee's podcast with Dr. Lamar Hardwick. ...
In this episode, Larah Roberts has a conversation with Dr. Chris Hulshof to discuss what it means to cultivate a truly inclusive church culture—one that moves beyond passive acceptance to active participation for people with disabilities. They explore the foundations...
In this episode, Larah Roberts sits down with Sara Dalgliesh to talk all things summer camp! Sara shares how her church’s disability ministry team plans, prepares, and runs an inclusive and gospel-centered summer camp for kids of all abilities. From organizing...
Elaina chats with Dawn Allen, the director of Bethel University's BUILD program, a special program equipping and encouraging students with intellectual disabilities to attend college!More Information: Discover more about the BUILD program Here:...
I’ve had the joy of working with children my entire life. When I say my entire life, I mean it—I was that kid teaching my dolls in a makeshift classroom, begging my teachers for leftover curriculum to teach my “students” all summer long. It’s no surprise that I...
Elaina sits down with Kari Baker, author of Finding KiND: Discovering Hope and Purpose While Loving Kids with Invisible Neurological Differences, and talks about special needs parenting, autism spectrum, and supporting other families on the same journey. Finding KiND:...
Elaina Marchenko sits down with Rachael VerMeulen from A Little Extra Love Ministries to talk about the reality for families affected by special needs, the need for disability support in Colorado, and what Rachael will be sharing at Disability & the Church...
The church is a place for everyone, yet for many families with neurodivergent children, attending church events or services can be a challenging experience. Children with sensory and communication differences may need unique accommodations to feel comfortable,...
Larah Roberts sits down with Beth Golik and talks about the annual Night to Shine Event sponsored by the Tim Tebow Foundation. Beth gives a peek into what the event looks like and also shares how your church can prepare and host one of these events in your city!If you...
Elaina sits down with Andrea Roseman from Access Ministry to discuss the highlights of 2024, the changes she wants to make in 2025, and the way the Lord is working in and through Access Ministry.If you like this, you may like… 131: Your Ministry Wins from 2024 &...
Elaina sits down and shares a few of the many reasons we have to celebrate here at Key Ministry this year. We are so grateful for all that the Lord has done in and through our ministry in 2024, and we can’t wait to see what he does in 2025!If you like this, than you...
“You’re so sensitive.” I’ve heard that a lot throughout the years and you know what? Yes. I am a sensitive person, and I’ve worked really hard to give myself permission to be in tune with my feelings. Even if I had trouble interpreting someone else’s emotions, I could...
Our Key Ministry team is incredibly grateful for the ministry opportunities the Lord presented to us in 2024. We hosted two national conferences - Disability and the Church and Mental Health and the Church, where over 600 pastors and ministry leaders gathered to learn...
Elaina sits down with Pastor Sergei Marchenko to discuss his experience with mental illness both in his home and the church. Pastor Sergei shares hope for the hurting and discusses the importance of mental health awareness in the church, and from the pulpit.If you...
Elaina sits down and talks with Lisa Jamieson from Walk Right In Ministries about family caregivers, the holidays, and ways the church can better support them.If you like this, you may like… 123: Prepping for the Holidays, a Pastor & Parent Perspective with Sergei...
In this episode, Lauren Hickman shares her personal journey and calling to disability ministry, describing how God has guided her every step of the way to serve families impacted by disability.If you like this, you may like… 115: New Operations Director! An Interview...
This week Elaina from Key Ministry, sits down with Sergei Marchenko, Lead Pastor of Chatham Bible Church, and Special Needs Parent. They discuss preparing for the holiday season, church inclusion, special needs parenting and more!If you like this, you may like… 110:...
In this episode of Key Ministry the Podcast, Catherine Boyle shares 4 steps any church can take when an individual or family has a significant mental health need that may require ongoing church support.If you like this, then you may like… 118: Mental Health is...
At Mental Health & the Church Conference 2024, Dr. Steve Grcevich interviewed Kelly & her son Daniel Rosati on their experience with Schizophrenia, their powerful testimony of Jesus’ grace, and how the church can support families like theirs.
Parents of children with disabilities face unique challenges that can make the journey of parenting even more demanding. While advice like “practice self-care” is common, it doesn’t always provide the deep, meaningful support parents truly need. So, here are some...
Today's blog post addresses the topic of child abuse. It is a powerful account of both human evil and the forgiveness available through Christ. Please read with care. Image from @mxsh on Unsplash The world is different now. Before reading this, you would not have...
God convicted me. He challenged how much I believed it. What would my and my husband’s actions tell us? Were we believing God for His plan for our son, or were we expecting Him to help with ours? Were we open to the possibility that His plans might be different from what we’ve envisioned?
Back to School season is upon us! And while there are many school supply lists, there may be less disability-specific school supplies list, so we decided to give you a few ideas of things that may make the school year a bit easier.
As parents or caregivers of someone with special needs we often have hard seasons; times where “troubles assail us” as the hymn writer once wrote. Perhaps you have a ‘Plan B’ in your back pocket for unexpected situations or you have a mental list of who to call or where to get help when needed, but there are times when we don’t have an inkling of an idea of what to do next or how we can continue in the hard times. Our human nature wants to be in control and fix the situation and we find it hard to trust that “God’s got this” when the situation seems to have no end.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) is a complex developmental disability that affects a child exposed to alcohol prenatally. In the US, the prevalence is as high as 1 in 20 children who have this condition. With a lack of awareness and understanding, many...
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) is a complex developmental disability that affects a child exposed to alcohol prenatally. In the US, the prevalence is as high as 1 in 20 children who have this condition. With a lack of awareness and understanding, many misconceptions and myths persist, including its impact on mental health. Joel Sheagren shatters these myths and shed light on FASD realities and the layers to the challenges they face.
Key Ministry strives to offer FREE resources and charge as little as possible for all other services, we aim to offer resources that are truly accessible for everyone; money included. By using our Amazon Affiliate links for items you may already be wanting to purchase, you donate to our cause without spending ANY extra money.
A few years ago, I was teaching a workshop on stress. When preparing for this assignment I decided to look at some favorite Bible stories and see how the characters responded to stressful situations, how the Lord provided for their needs, and what lessons we could learn from these Biblical men and women.
Resilience is defined as the ability to withstand or recover quickly from a difficult situation. To have a resilient faith we need to build into our spiritual lives the actions needed to recover from the hurts, the pain and the relentless suffering that dealing with disability brings. By keeping our eyes fixed on Jesus we will be able to withstand the challenges that we face. Mary Underwood shares about having resilient faith for special needs parents.
“As I connect with Christian families impacted by disabilities, I’ve heard the same stories repeated over and over again. Stories of hurt and frustration over words spoken and looks given within the walls of our churches. Stories of the desire to be a part of a church family, but seeing hurdles that just seem too big to overcome.” Cortney Jenkins gives five tips to talk to your church about accessibility.
Joel Sheagren writes on the intersection of his 30-year career in film-making and his parenting journey, as he parents a son with FASD.
What DO you do when a child works harder to escape a room than he does work the puzzles at the table? How can you possibly know where the boundaries should be with a child who inherently has none? Where is the line between nurturing and structure? While there aren’t clear answers to these questions, there IS clear theology about our family’s place in the Body of Christ. Sherri Wirt writes a short devotional for special needs parents that feel they don’t fit at church.
There is a group that many churches simply do not see and are therefore missing a great opportunity for ministry. That group is special needs dads. Guys, like me, who are caring for individuals with disabilities/special needs. This is an incredible group of men! Steve Chatman will be speaking at Disability & the Church 2024 in Orlando, FL May 1-3. Go to www.keyministry.org/datc2024 to register now.
Mary Underwood writes about her experience in the Philippines, and trusting God with all of your cares.
Today’s blog post addresses the topic of child abuse. It is a powerful account of both human evil and the forgiveness available through Christ. Please read with care.
After all my years of teaching middle school special education, specifically a significant disabilities/autism class, you’d think I would have learned by now that some of my best-laid plans were the last things my students needed…especially when it came to making friends. I personally believe that many of the social skills activities I’ve done with my students and my own children have been a great benefit. Our kids need the training and support we provide through role-playing, social stories, and other activities, but at what point do we take our hands off and give control of those friendships to our kids? Letting go of that control can be scary.
It’s sometimes even hard to fathom, but I am now a caregiver caring for multiple generations of my family. Like me, there are many finding themselves sandwiched between two generations and caring for both. It is without a doubt, one of the hardest roads to walk. I’m thankful for the strategies that I’ve learned along the way which have helped me to not merely survive but thrive on my journey as a caregiver.
In a recent viral social media post, Rachel Olstad expressed what she and many other families with children with disabilities would like to express to those who help care for their children.
In this week’s episode, all four of our regular hosts are recording together to answer some rapid-fire questions, round-robin style. Do you want to hear about our favorite books, podcast, and ministry stories? Then this episode is for you.
As we move from a knowledge-hungry world to one saturated with information, it is more important than ever to stop teaching children lots of memorized facts—but instead, instill them with the ability to discern information with wisdom. I also believe that even children with learning challenges and disabilities can cultivate discernment, especially as we show them through our examples and teach them to lean into the Holy Spirit for help.
Guest blogger, Shannon Blosser shares his experience as both a pastor and a special needs dad.
While our son loves being in the church and especially enjoys looking at our stained-glass ceiling formation, he cannot always handle the crowds and noise that come with being in worship. We try to meet his needs while living into the realities of being a pastoral family.
As a research psychologist, guest blogger, Robert Crosby, has been studying children’s ministry for about ten years. In nearly every church, there are hurting kids struggling with feelings of worthlessness and rejection. To reach these kids, we must be intentional. We must use every tool and opportunity available—especially unstructured playtime—to show these kids how much they matter to God and to us.
Guest blogger Sandy Hartranft shares her son’s experience with the disability ministries at two churches—each with its own approach to inclusion and belonging.
Prayer has power. It is a necessary resource to lean on as you navigate the challenges of an eating disorder. Guest blogger, Beth Ask explains an effective prayer strategy to organize thoughts and requests.
Guest blogger Shannon Blosser shares his unique experience as a pastor and a caregiving parent.
Sometimes we get caught up in the realities of caregiving for our children, and if we are not careful, we can only see the temporary and miss the eternal.
In today’s episode, Beth Golik and Catherine Boyle interview our founder, Dr. Steve Grcevich. Together they reflect on the past twenty years and share plans for the future—including the 2023 Disability and the Church Conference!
Guest blogger Jeff Rickert shares his journey with OCD and how it has given him security in his faith.
To be an effective buddy, we must do both the practical and the spiritual work.
We desire the church to accommodate the needs of an individual and make room for them and their families in our connections. This is a God-breathed and God-centered vision of inclusion. So, what happens when it does not happen overnight?
Ideally, every person is welcome and embraced by a church as Christ welcomes and embraces all with unconditional love. That, unfortunately, is not always expressed by the church. I believe in those moments when we do feel we need to leave, God’s love will guide the conversation and direct us towards a place that will be more welcoming and open to expressing the love of Christ for all people.
In part two of his blog post, Tony D’Orazio from Jacob’s Ladder Fitness continues with this important question: what has humanity missed out on without all those people with Down syndrome in the world?
Tony D’Orazio from Jacob’s Ladder Fitness asks an important question: what has humanity missed out on without all those people with Down syndrome in the world?
I’ve been a special needs mom for 21 years now, so I need you to hear what I’m about to say with the trust that those years have earned me. For us believers, “overwhelmed by hope” should be much more common than “overwhelmed by fear.”
The Lord knows that always feeling tired keeps us in a weakened state. Rest, on the other hand, strengthens and sharpens us. Here are a few small strategies that the Lord helped me implement to feel more rested, and grow stronger mentally, physically and spiritually.
Without hesitation, she grabbed my hands and began to pray. But this was not just any prayer. Somewhere amid my surprise, I realized THIS was church.
When I learned my daughter would be born with a more severe genetic disorder than my son’s, the news devastated me. After her birth, I began to experience debilitating symptoms of PTSD. Months later, I made what should have been a lethal suicide attempt. My case was extreme, but is it that uncommon for caregivers to experience clinical mental health conditions?
It seems easier than ever to find resources for families affected by disability or special needs. At times, however, believers need a reminder of the caution Jesus gave us to beware that we are in the world but not of it.
Tony D’Orazio from Jacob’s Ladder Fitness share a story of how his work with a young lady with disabilities helped him see Jesus.
While others are making resolutions and exciting plans for a new year, special needs families may have dread in our hearts. Recently, I was reminded of the story of manna in the Bible. Here’s what I need to remember as we enter a new year.
My husband and I suspected that Myles would need another kidney transplant. We did all the things. We planned and prepared. But then things quickly took a turn for the worse. As I processed my confusion, fear and disappointment with the LORD, He lovingly assured me that He was fighting for Myles, and showed me that He had already gone before us.
In the past few months, some significant changes have happened with my son Ryan. God has not taken away Ryan’s disability, nor the progression, but He continues to show us in little ways He is standing right beside Ryan.
Guest blogger Linda Bunk lives with both high functioning autism and bipolar disorder. This is the last of three posts showing how God has uniquely equipped Linda to minister effectively in Ukraine.
This post is part 2 of our interview with “Emma,” a woman who endured years of sexual abuse by someone she knew. Read part 1 here. We share her experience in these posts to increase awareness of opportunities for abuse and provide prevention and recovery resources to parents and ministry leaders alike.
One thing you can’t say about life with special needs children is that it’s uneventful. Recently I became aware that my posture in prayer and quiet time with God is heavily infused with petitions and supplications. Here’s how I shifted my attitude and focus.
My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia before COVID. He is now in a nursing home where he is now being looked after with great care and kindness. In the first few months of lockdown, I could not touch him. It made me think about the importance of touch for most people.
We recently interviewed “Emma,” a woman who endured years of sexual abuse by someone she knew. We share her experience in two blog posts, to increase awareness of opportunities for abuse and provide prevention and recovery resources to parents and ministry leaders alike.
By the numbers, Linda shouldn’t be here. Everything seemed to be stacked against her by worldly standards, and still seems that way. How could bullying, struggles with education, and psychiatric hospitalizations work for His plan? In part 2 of this series from Linda Bunk, see exactly how God is powerfully using all of these struggles to minister to people in Ukraine.
This post is a continuation of our series on sexual abuse trauma and prevention. Today’s blogger is Brianna Edwards, LMHC and Registered Play Therapist.
Guest blogger Tony D’Orazio shares a poignant excerpt from his book, Down Right Joy.
Guest blogger Linda Bunk lives with both high functioning autism and bipolar disorder. Linda is a gifted photographer, and now serves with SALT as a missionary to Ukraine. This is the first of three posts showing how God has uniquely equipped Linda for ministry in Ukraine and beyond.
You may have heard it said that the pandemic has increased the mental health and suicide risks for people. But the risk of substance misuse and overdose is also trending poorly. Here’s how the Church can help.
Do you believe you are in God’s will, and that’s He’s working on your needs? That’s a question that challenges most of us, at some time or another. Melanie Gomez offers encouragement from God’s Word, for those times when you need an answer and are struggling to wait on His timing.
Guest blogger Kristin Evans notes that it’s not practical to expect every church to be able to provide for families with special needs in every way. But she encourages churches to consider one or two ideas for how your congregation might be able to better support persons with special needs and disabilities. Here are five ways your church can prepare to love special needs families.
Guest blogger Tony D’Orazio tells a story about his son Jake, who has Down Syndrome, and why it is important for parents to have expectations, even for their children with disabilities.
Guest blogger Elaina Marchenko shares about being a sibling to two sisters with special needs and why she wouldn’t want to experience life any other way.
On this particular morning, several years ago, my Bible reading for the day took me to Romans 10:9-10, the Scriptures that lay out God’s path to salvation. What wasn’t so clear to me was how my son, who suffered with cognitive disabilities, would be able to meet these requirements. “How, LORD,” I asked, “is Myles gonna be able to receive salvation?”
Melanie Gomez shares how leaving behind the ease of familiar routines and comfort to take a vacation with your child with special needs provides priceless growth, reconnecting and refreshing for everyone in the family.
Many young people with learning disabilities do not have adequate preparation for adult life. The reason sometimes is that people mistakenly assume that having learning disabilities means not being able to learn. This is not the case. Rather, it means that they have difficulty learning. To help with this needed preparation, I have just published a teaching pack for parents, educators and church leaders.
When folks think about something being accessible, they usually think of wheelchairs. Is there a ramp? Are the doors wide enough? But what about your website or your pdf documents, or even emails? Can anyone use them?
In different cultural settings, the value of an individual’s gifts and the stigma of mental health struggles can vary greatly. What if the Church shifted its methods of interpreting mental health challenges at a pastoral, liturgical and theological level, to a focus on creating belonging?
When we remember what God has done for us, it boosts our faith for what He can do next.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Along with the October Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I would love to see Christian pastors and Christian counselors be at the forefront of not only bringing awareness, but also coming up with the solutions to serve domestic violence victims and sexual assault survivors, to end abuse.
As of March 2021, we are now at the year mark of the disruption from the pandemic. As a Church, community, and individuals, we have a lot we can do to support each other. Here are some tips to help each other, one year into the pandemic.
My dear friend Philip died in January, aged 63. I had the privilege of saying a few words at his funeral. It was easy, I knew exactly what to say about him. It made me think about what we celebrate in life. What do we think a successful life looks like?
Special needs parents are often weary, and wonder God notices the efforts needed to care for their families. Melanie Gomez shares how after Noah’s flood, God made a promise that can encourage special needs caregivers: there will always be times of both sowing seeds and harvesting what has been planted.
Last week, Jillian Palmiotto shared the first part of this 2-part series on developing a house church model of special needs ministry. Today, Jillian shares the process she used to establish house churches, in hopes that it will spark some ideas in other leaders, and help churches prepare for our uncertain future.
It’s easy to come up with a list of challenges that took place in 2020. But Melanie Gomez learned some important insights about remembering 2020 in the way God instructed the Israelites, as they entered the Promised Land.
Ministering to families who are impacted by disability was especially difficult for pastors during the start of the COVID pandemic. In June, I began to seek the Lord for a way that we could keep everyone physically safe, obey CDC health guidelines and provide the community that the people so desperately needed. And the answer was found right at home.
2020 was a traumatic year for a lot of us—a year when plans fell apart, certainties became uncertain, and many of us transitioned into new roles we didn’t expect or want. So how do we, as special needs parents, regain our footing so we can move forward with a renewed sense of clarity and peace?
I was listening to a conversation with the Key Ministry writing team, casting vision for 2021. As soon as they started talking about options like Zoom and social media, my mind immediately went to discipleship.
A few months ago, Barna Group released a book titled Restoring Relationships that looks at their research on the challenges individuals and couples are experiencing with mental, emotional, and relational health, and how the church could help. Updated for the impacts of COVID-19, the research also looked at pastors’ mental health. But the most important question of all, which can help inform ministry for 2021, may be this: do people still feel connected during the pandemic?
As ministry leaders and church volunteers, how can we navigate and apply empathy towards others in ministry, whose cultures may be different from our own? Joscelyn Ramos Campbell shares 5 ways to incorporate empathy and cultural competency to diverse families within the church.
Guest blogger Joscelyn Ramos Campbell shares part 1 of 2 on understanding and supporting cross-cultural or multi-cultural special needs families. Today’s post focuses on the importance of understanding cultural backgrounds and expressing cross-cultural competence.
I recently spent some time in the book of John and read anew the verses where Jesus asks us to remain in Him. In John 15:4, Jesus says, “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” As the waves of 2020 crashed against me, they tossed me out of my remaining posture. Time and again I found myself worried, questioning, and lamenting outside of the vine where I was to remain.
For those of you just starting the journey as a parent of a child with autism or any one of a myriad of other disabilities, I offer this poem as an encouragement to keep your eyes open for God’s presence along the road.
Many of the concepts that the general population have experienced for the first time in 2020 are all too familiar to some in the disability community. The new reality that many of us are experiencing for the first time is all too familiar for many families living with disabilities who face manifold barriers to leave their home on a typical day. So what if we took this opportunity to re-imagine a church that was accessible to 100% of people—rather than just the 85% who don’t live with disabilities?
We recently had to make an important choice: back to school or not? This is a tough decision being faced by families all over the world, and each has its own pros and cons to be weighed. In the special needs world it is a particularly challenging subject. Here is how I’ve learned to navigate the difficult choices that need to be made for our kids when there is no clear right or wrong.
Many years ago, our family had a lovely pet boxer dog. When we got him, he already had a docked tail. Recently I realized that his tail wasn’t just cut off, but his means of communication with other dogs was cut off as well. Since that time, boxers usually get to keep their tails. They are calmer, happier and can socialize freely with other dogs. If communication is so important for dogs, it is paramount for human beings!
Two times of the year are devoted to building awareness about mental illness. In October, Mental Illness Awareness Week is October 4 – 10; October 10 is World Mental Health Day. The hope is that within these days, weeks, and months when we bring awareness, specifically through the Church, that we can reduce stigma and bring the Church to the forefront of conversations about mental illness.
I am exhausted, moody, yet eager to soak in what could be the last nice day of autumn. I hear Joel’s footsteps quicken and turn to see him approaching at a near-run. He grabs my hand, looks me in the eye, grins, and pulls me forward. I wait for him to drop my hand, as he always does, but instead he squeezes it and swings my arm, his grin widening at my delight. For a moment, it feels so right, his hand a perfect fit in mine.
I had an appointment with my doctor, to adjust to my medication for an ongoing health condition, and to get a prescription for depression. When the doctor asked why a pastor would want to take depression medication, I responded, Who wants a pastor who can’t care for the sheep because I’m just too depressed? An important post about the need for pastors to care for their mental health needs.
My husband has advanced dementia. Many people I meet want to understand, but often make assumptions and therefore make mistakes. The Bible warns us not to look at externals; this is not how God looks at individuals. We need to be willing to look at our assumptions and make changes; we must be willing to learn.
I have been numb with depression lately. Except on those days when I am energized by anger. Some of it has to do with the pandemic and continued quarantine; some of it has to do with family relationships and health challenges. And then a daily meditation popped up, challenging me to choose a contained life.
We’ve had to adjust a lot of expectations around here this year—and that’s an understatement. I’ve become aware that the COVID-19 adjustments we’ve made these few months have diminished my expectations in a great many areas of my life. But then I got a reminder about praying with expectancy, urgency and boldness.
The Church has a spotty past with working alongside people who have substance misuse issues. The goal of recovery shouldn’t be just to stop the negative behavior. While that’s certainly important, our goal should be a transformation from the inside out. Here’s some information about substance abuse that can help your church.
I once served as a volunteer missionary for nearly 2 years and as a missionary, I was willing to do whatever was asked of me. I often sit in church and listen to the different mission programs, especially short work trips and wonder why? Why do we raise thousands of dollars to send courageous, self-sacrificing individuals to visit far off lands in the name of Jesus when there are so many we neglect in our own communities? We need the Church to be the hands and feet of that powerful calling we claim as Christianity. Outside of the church walls. It might be time to get our hands dirty.
As The Banquet Network is working to develop a training on disability for international missionaries, we’ve had the opportunity to listen to people with disabilities, across the world, share with us what they want missionaries to know. There is a significant theme that has continued to emerge in these interviews: people with disabilities want missionaries to care about disability, because it is in Christ that they have found purpose.
Every August, I get out this story of my son and remind myself that even as the walnut leaves begin to fall, even as I am gripped by the sadness of one kind of letting go or another, it is, in Kairos time, the very first Christmas. When I allow myself to live in the moment, I am in the midst of God’s glory.
Guest blogger Tony Roberts shares some of his experiences of living with bipolar disorder, including how he has learned to move beyond his brain’s single-minded focus with the discipline of intercessory prayer.
How long did it take?” Isn’t that always the question? How long will it take to lose the weight, or experience financial freedom, or feel peace in my relationship? My post today is for those of you who may be saying, “How long will (fill in the blank with the type of deliverance you need) take?”
I believe Christian parents and church leaders have a responsibility to educate youth in many areas of life, not to hide and protect them, but to empower and equip them as they grow. One area where kids need equipping should be mental health. Here are seven tips on how to talk with kids about mental illness.
The interviewer asked how caregiving impacted Marjorie’s spiritual journey, and what spiritual practices she found most helpful. With a laugh, Marjorie responded that caring for her mother and mother-in-law was her spiritual practice. What she said hit me like a thunderbolt: for 25 years, caring for my son, Joel, who has autism, was my spiritual practice.
Isolation has affected all of us. Racial tensions, struggles, and division in our country has affected everyone in America. We are all a little broken right now. As a pastor, it is hard to build up people when you cannot function. Recently, the amount of mental strain it costs me to function “normally” and put on a brave face is extreme. But I have returned to the point that I can rely on what I know instead of what I feel. Here’s how you can, too.
Any of us involved in disability ministry have a vision to see people with disabilities living out their divine vocation, but that vision often feels fraught with all kinds of barriers. As I have been reading through Paul’s letters, I have been struck by the regularity with which Paul asks for prayer. Here are four things we can glean from Paul’s prayer requests and how these should shape our own prayer requests, particularly as we carry out our disability ministries.
What will life be like after COVID-19? Should we go back to the old normal, how things were before lockdown? What should change? What might change? Do we want change? Can we go back to how things were before?
For the past three months, stress levels around the world skyrocketed as quarantined families hunkered down at home. How do we cope with the added stress? Over the past few months, I’ve been noticing many more families enjoying the forest. Turns out, a walk in the woods might be the best thing to do to beat back stress.
The time quarantined with 8 children, including five teenagers and one child with profound special needs, has been intense. Prior to the worldwide pandemic, my husband Ryan and I successfully prioritized self-care. We understand how fragile our mental health can become in stressful circumstances, having each experienced bouts of overwhelm, PTSD, and anxiety. May is Mental Health Awareness month. Here are ten routines we have incorporated to preserve the integrity of our well-being that may be helpful to others as well.
As I see it, there are two distinct phases of coronavirus lockdown: the phase where you are waiting for things to get back to normal, and the phase where you let go of all previous “normal,” and begin to build what will be next. Here are some specific new things that have become helpful and strange provisions in this place.
“How are you?” It’s so hard to answer! “Yes, we’re fine. We are well, we don’t have the virus, we have food, and we have medication.” BUT, and a BIG BUT—sometimes I feel like screaming! I am despairing. This morning I read Psalm 77. The first few verses were how I felt in the middle of last night. This Psalm, and remembering God’s faithfulness showed me several things that helped my despair, and may help you, too.
I am scared of all the ‘what-if’s’ of coronavirus. Being a pastor doesn’t somehow mystically make me immune to that. You are probably scared, too. This is where knowing The Word becomes imperative.
There are a lot of logistical challenges to be found within this “shelter in place” world. But special needs kids who are home from school and out of their regular routine face more than challenges; they face real, significant loss in skills and abilities. As I contemplated how we would ever be able to make up for the lost time, I remembered a similar story in the Bible, and an amazing promise from God.
Recently, I’ve been preparing for a presentation titled “Learning inclusion from the Early Church” in which I cover some of the earliest Christian perspectives on disability. Looking at how the post-apostolic church viewed and incorporated people with disabilities has been illuminating, and there is much we can learn from our forebears.
When you are sheltering in place, come to ME. When you are out serving in an essential job, come to ME. This came to me in the shower. Yes, I’m still showering now and then. The ME in this writing is Jesus. Except last line is all Deb!
I’ve found myself feeling unmoored and disoriented the past few weeks during the COVID-19 pandemic. All of us have been living on shifting sands, our normal routines disrupted; those things we take for granted, all swept out from under us. We need an antidote to panic!
Witnessing and hearing of suffering can create a kind of paranoia for us. The unexpected can wreak fear, bitterness, and resentment. But we are kept and protected by the truth. In a world which seems to be spinning out of control, what does safety in God look like?
Fifteen percent of the people in the world have a disability, but if a church doesn’t have any members or regular attendees with disabilities, this is all the more reason to “go to the highways and byways” to find and invite them in.
Even after many years as a special needs momma, having people say the strangest things to me, this question posed to me last week really caught me off guard. “How can you smile? With so many problems!” Her tone and the question made me really defensive. Having had a few days to reflect, I want to respond to her question by sharing my top five answers.
Guest blogger John Patrick shares his story of anxiety, depression and agoraphobia, and how God’s Word led him to freedom and restoration.
We often know what we want to teach children, but real learning only comes from understanding what is being taught. Cognitive constructivist theory of learning states that new learning needs to be built on existing skills and knowledge. Jesus knew his audience. He started with what they already knew, and then built his teaching on that knowledge. This approach is particularly vital when working with children with a learning disability.
A sunbeam, streaming in through the kitchen window, rests on Joel. Light shimmers around him. As the music plays, he slowly looks around the table, looking each of us in the eye with his beautiful, baby blues. (Who says autism means no eye contact?!). His grin says it all: I have a gift for you! Please listen!
I’ve come to realize that one of the greatest reasons He sent me out on the road was to teach me lessons through running that apply to the journey of being a special needs parent. Over and over I encounter similarities between the two. Most recently I discovered something that I truly was not expecting. I believe the Lord showed me this about running so that I would apply it to the rest of my life.
When guest blogger Jess Ronne and her husband met, they were both widowed with seven children between them, including Jess’s son with special needs. Through their nine years together, Ryan and Jess have learned a few important skills—life hacks, some might say—while navigating the complicated terrain of special needs parenting in a blended family. Here are seven practical ways they’ve been able to make it a successful endeavor (most the time).
Learning to travel light took many years of practice. Then I found out that I not only needed to travel light on the outside, but on the inside as well. I discovered that darkness and heaviness on the inside would leave me with mental and emotional challenges. I would become weighted down from the load, unable to think or feel clearly. As we rely on Him, He not only tells us what to carry, He also enables us to do so.
Instead of answering prayers for healing, God sent peace, and I didn’t want any part of it. Peace felt like a consolation prize. I wanted my baby whole and healthy, and I believed peace meant that God wasn’t going to heal my son. Paralysis seemed too hard, and even with God holding me close to Him, I didn’t see how life could be good again.
There has never been a day I grieved my children. Still, deep in my heart, there is this grief. Please hear me when I say my children are a joy. They are the reason I have found my calling. But today, I want you to learn from my experience what the parents of special needs children may be feeling in your church, and how you can help.
“Adverse Childhood Experiences” is the new focus of clinical mental health and psychology. At its essence, research has found a high correlation between childhood trauma and environmental instability that leads to numerous mental health, medical, social, academic, and career problems. It is evident that part of the solution needs to be with the Church, specifically youth ministry. Here are some ideas.
Labels can define us. Many times we attribute value to people according to what they do. We see people through our perceived definition of the label. They cease to become an individual person and become confined by the label. But churches need to be careful about labelling people, to ensure that we don’t just see the person with a disability through the eyes of the label.
How often do we, as parents of kids with disabilities, crown ourselves King or Queen when it seems obvious that no one else can perform the miracles we pull out of the hat on a daily basis? We crown ourselves indispensable, don’t we? But if Jesus didn’t consider himself indispensable, why should we?
When our ideas of ‘the plan’ look like they have fallen in a heap, new plans are coming into view. When we feel everything has shut down, God is as full of life and newness as He always has been. He works with impossibilities, He brings life out of death and makes a way where there is no way.
It always seems like the crises of disability come at the most inconvenient times, doesn’t it? A meltdown just as you’re heading out the door, a shot of pain in the middle of a nice dinner, a hole In your eye when you’re far from home. But perhaps the unpredictability of disability is an invitation—an invitation to pay attention to God.
This article from an anonymous guest blogger offers a different perspective from an article published on this blog in November 2019. Whenever possible, we make space for our audience to see opposing perspectives, and this article is an excellent example of a different perspective on the topic of encouraging age-appropriate interests in kids with developmental delays.
Guest blogger Sarah Lango shares honestly about her anxiety and fear in parenting her daughter with special needs. She writes, “As I wrestled with God on how to handle this anxiety I found myself face to face with some basic Biblical truth. I didn’t trust God with my child.” Do you relate? Read more of their story in today’s post.
As we start out the new year, I can’t help but wonder what new thing God wants to do in our lives?! Praise Jesus that He is the God of new things. Don’t let a difficult past determine your current and future identity. Praise the Lord; He says He will do something new. We have to let Him.
Is it appropriate for licensed counselors to incorporate Christianity into counseling practices at all? The counselor’s code of ethics is about imposing your beliefs on others. But if a client comes in with Christian values or is wanting to incorporate faith at any capacity into the counseling treatment, everything changes.
As I reflected on Howard Thurman’s poem over the past several days, the proverbial light bulb suddenly switched on in a brain that’s been dimmed by the too-muchness of Christmas. The “work of Christmas” of which the poet speaks is what we do every day as we parent children (and adult children) with disabilities.
I could talk about a multitude of things: our amazing lead pastor, our creative genius of a children’s pastor, team building and volunteer training, or leading a special needs ministry. But it makes much more sense to tell you why any church can do this special needs ministry “thing.” Because we did with a newbie ministry leader, a little bit of grit, a tiny budget, and a whole lot of prayer. If we can do it, so can you.
Jesus entered the world of people He was with, and used communication that they would understand. But we often ask disabled persons to join in our activities and learn to function in our world. When we learn from Him, by entering the world of those who find our ways of communicating difficult, sometimes incredible connection can happen.
As you read the list of emotional eating triggers, which ones cause you to struggle most? Why these? Is there something that you need to do about them? What is your emotional health trying to tell you? Are you listening to what your soul needs?
To all the tired moms out there, the tired dads, the tired grandparents who help their tired children take a break now and then; to all the teachers, therapists, caregivers, personal assistants, and anyone who helps our kids: This is for YOU! Here’s a hug for YOU!
There have been many moments over these 19 years of special needs parenting where my faith hit the same wall. “It’s too late, science has spoken” is a lie from Satan. This lie is a big deal because of all of the many miracles recorded in the Bible: the “it’s too late” story line shows up over and over again! Come re-visit the story of Christ’s birth, because it is no accident that more than one “medical miracle” occurred for His arrival on earth.
A new year is starting, so I want to encourage you as the pastor, congregation member who is a parent of someone with a hidden disability, or member/volunteer who has your own hidden disability to find ways to be more mindful so that you are not like the 1,000 subway riders who miss a great opportunity.
As I’ve been meditating on the stress in my own family this Christmas, an image of an old quilt rose up in my mind. It hit me how very quilt-like special needs families can be. We’re patched together with several different colors and patterns, and our beautifully vibrant family quilts can get pretty messy, especially at Christmas-time.
Since 2005, I have served on my church staff to provide clinical mental health counseling services to our congregation and others in our area. I have known people who wanted counseling but couldn’t get it, and others who had access to counseling but didn’t get it. I’ve known pastors who burned out without even considering seeking mental health treatment, and I’ve also known pastors who sought periodic counseling just as a personal self-care routine. Why is it that some people with symptoms of a mental illness go to counseling while others don’t?
Recently, a homeless stranger approached me for assistance to feed himself and his son. We discussed many things in our brief interaction before I said to him, “You matter, and you are a person.” His response stood out to me: “It feels good to be thought of as a person.” In that encounter, I practiced Companionship, something that can be offered to anyone we encounter.
One day I saw a young man who looked to be in his late 20’s in a grocery store, holding several Elmo stuffed animals. I first thought, “Boy he really likes Elmo!” Then I thought of my Charlie. A lightbulb went off that day.
Today, I want to focus on a holiday that, if taken fully as the Bible prescribes it, can often alleviate the flare-ups that cause us to periodically run to God: Thanksgiving. Not just turkey time or family time, but Thanksgiving as an act that is recommended every day.
Jesus’ relationship with the Father gives us a prime example of blessed kind of attachment. Jesus loved everyone, but His primary affections, His life focus was towards the Father; they were one.
Sometimes there are no easy answers to the dilemmas we find ourselves in as parents of special needs kids. We do our best with what we know, and trust God with all that we do not know. One thing you can be very certain of: Faithful Father knows everything you’re going through.
The church generally seeks to be a place of acceptance and care; we want to ensure that we look after all God’s children. But we must go further than caring for, we must acknowledge and encourage the gifts and talents that God has given to all His children, and that includes those with learning disabilities.
If you want volunteers, Millennials are a great place to look. But the church needs to speak the language of Millennials as we collaborate to serve. But the good news is that the church probably has a whole group of untapped volunteer potential, we just have to cultivate it.
Worshiping with Joel at age 11 was an interesting experience. It was not unlike sitting on the edge of your seat during an action movie, when you’re not quite sure what’s going to happen next—you only know something is going to happen. Then one day, during communion, a radiant look of understanding came upon Joel’s face.
Sometimes we only learn our lessons the hard way. There is truth in consequences. With autism or developmental disability, however, it can be hard to know what is reasonable to expect from our children. How much is too much? How much is too little? When do we make legitimate allowances for a disability and when do we not?
I wonder when the confidence of youth slips through our fingers, and we find ourselves so caught up in the worrying or embarrassing ‘what ifs’ that we forget the amazing, unexpected, wonderful ‘what ifs,’ the very ones God specializes in!
No one can prepare you for what it’s like to be a witness of the continued struggle in your child, just to survive. There’s no chapter on that in the pregnancy books. There’s no guidebook for how to be a parent of the suffering. Or is there?
What do you do with nasty hurt in your heart that feels like physical pain? Deny it? Medicate it? Or, acknowledge it and explore meaningful conclusions?
For over a decade, SAMHSA has been tracking mental health and substance use statistics and just released the numbers for 2018.
Disability is often at odds with our plans. But it was disability that first landed Paul in Galatia. The passionate language about justification by faith and not works of the law, so finely conveyed in this epistle to the Galatians, flows from a relational context colored by disability.
This morning, as I planned for the day, I saw that my son’s physical therapist would be coming to the house this afternoon. This morning there was a moment when I felt like a failure, but that feeling quickly passed. I remembered how several years back, that feeling often lingered with me for days at a time, but not anymore.
My husband and I sat down for our quiet time this morning, and neither of us was in the mood to pray. Why bother summed up our mood. Then I pull out Jesus’ words in Matthew 11: Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest.
We live in the world with a real enemy whose job is to sabotage and block our mental health. The enemy dispatches schemes and roadblocks that cloud God’s will for our lives. But walking in the truth thwarts roadblocks from the enemy.
I look down at my daughter’s complex and failing body, and the list of all the unknowns is endless. But I don’t have to fear being drowned by the crashing waves of this sea, because He promises to take good care of us. I only need to reach out and cling to Him.
My husband and I have been in major waiting mode for the past three months. I am growing impatient, frustrated. Mildly depressed. Dare I say, a little hopeless. But God is using this season to enlarge me. In this waiting time, I need to allow more of God’s Spirit to grow within me.
This summer in the United States, we have seen an uptick in violence. Within this wave of crisis, we have seen many people want to identify why we are having problems. Important research results have recenlty come out which further support the need for mental health awareness around violence, as well as not shifting the blame to those who are different and therefore must be the problem.
As a believer, I know that the future isn’t set by what the prognosis or diagnosis says; it isn’t hopeless based on the past. No matter how many times letter recognition or counting have remained elusive skills for my son, I can enter a new year with a fresh hope. I open my eyes fully to see God’s glory and the ever-present potential for miracles.
In the last four months, one significant and concerning trend I’ve noticed in social media conversations among ministry leaders has been the uptick in the need for suicide information. Reducing mental illness stigma and prevention are the techniques with the most impact. Here are some other approaches that may help.
We need to think about people with disabilities more than how we can define them in a two-word phrase. Rather than people with disabilities being known as high functioning, moderate functioning, or low functioning, let’s define one another by individual strengths or challenges.
There’s always something we can feel guilty about as a Mum. The world around me can make me feel I ought to be and need to be super-Mum. But in the midst of the mundane, God is for me, encouraging me on, loving the very best out of me.
I often say that my son Joel, who has autism, has been the greatest spiritual teacher of my life. The lessons haven’t always been easy, and sometimes they’re not clear until later. But year after year after year, Holy Spirit knowledge pours forth from this young man and blesses all whose eyes and ears are open and receptive. And that includes his church.
There are so many great ideas out there about starting a disability ministry. But unless we take these ideas and start walking, they will mean nothing. There are things that we’re going to have to throw off—much like Bartimaeus had to throw off his cloak to freely run to Jesus. What is your cloak? What is the thing you need to throw aside in order to take your next step in starting a disability ministry?
This post is for all my fellow veteran special needs parents, those of us who’ve been doing this for a little while and are finding a groove that works. There is a danger in being really good at our journey. The danger is that we forget to be wholly dependent on the Lord, His spirit and His leading in our choices, plans and decisions.
Keep listening to the voice of God as you ask: What gift has this person been given by God that might benefit those around them, and especially the Church? A person just being present is a gift to those around them. Who are we to judge who can and cannot have a relationship with God, or who can and cannot serve Him?
Whether it’s being delayed on the roads, waiting to see a love one who lives far away or anticipating a fun vacation, being patient sure can be tough. Cooling our jets when it involves an illness, diagnosis or surgery for ourselves or a loved one can amp up the anxiety and feelings of defeat even more. Recently, my friends Ed and Jan showed me through their example how to wait with hope.
When I returned home from our trip, I looked up the history of these stone walls. I learned that dry stone wall construction has been used throughout the ages because it is remarkably durable. When damaged, these walls are easily repaired. Isn’t that what prayer does?
Every parent has a moment when they sit down face-to-face with their child to have an important conversation. The conversations may look a little different, but they have the same goal: to let children know that they are exceptional, unique and wonderful, and God has a plan and purpose for their lives.
I wanted to share this part of our story with you because it’s important for you to know that others don’t always perceive your child as a burden. It is possible for strangers to find joy in our special children. We sometimes feel like our child is viewed as a liability to the outside world. But the right people, the ones God sends into your life, will see them with a heavenly perspective.
As a young mom of four children, two of whom have disabilities, including severe intellectual impairment, I ask God tough questions. I imagine many ministry leaders wonder some of the same things I do, but fear asking. It’s natural to wonder and it’s okay to ask. It’s in wrestling with such questions, pressing into Jesus in prayer and exploration of His Word we not only find answers but gain a deeper understanding of who Jesus intended the Church to be.
Guest blogger Jeremy Smith of Church and Mental Health reflects back on a powerful spiritual exercise and how similar approaches can be helpful for his counseling clients who want to incorporate faith into their counseling sessions.
Nothing I did as a mom seemed to help my son. None of the therapies; none of the love; none of the counseling—personal, marital, and family. Nothing could “fix” our son. But daily, as I sat and whispered Maranatha, Come Lord Jesus, the Lord showed up. He let me know that I was more than Joel’s mom, Matt and Justin’s mom, Wally’s wife. I belonged to God. I was rooted and grounded in God. My life had purpose. My true self began emerging.
One night, around 2:00 a.m., I saw a Facebook post: “We’re having an awful night. Anyone else awake? Is it just us?” What followed was an endless stream of comments from mostly moms talking about being awake with ASD kids. Here was a space where we could be seen and understood, be heard and not critiqued, and could connect.
Whether Mother’s and Father’s Days are acknowledged as part of your church’s worship service or not, we’re wise to recognize the state of mind and emotion present in adoptive and foster parents and their children on these days. It’s important to recognize and express sensitivity toward each member of these families.
I can’t imagine the feeling when my son actually walks across that stage, when he is handed his diploma, when we get to take those family pictures with his cap and gown. I have said thank you along the way to each of his teachers, aides and therapists, but that day I want to scream and shout it! Here are a few ideas to say “thank you” to the helpers in your life as your child finishes strong.
The biggest biblical truth Luke has re-enforced for me is that our value comes from being created by God in His image, NOT by what we or our spouses and children accomplish. I still struggle with how others perceive me as a person, and as a wife and mom. But I’m thankful Jesus knows we are in the LONG process of becoming more like Him, because I for one am a slow learner.
An earthen vessel, particularly in Bible times, was the least fancy and the least perfect, not polished or near perfection. Paul writes to the Corinthians that our imperfections are by design and are for the specific purpose of showing God’s greatness of power.
Telling stories of God’s ongoing faithfulness, of the people of God’s ongoing adventures with Him is important in our family life. The faith we have is not in a God who worked powerfully once upon a time in the past, but in a God who is living and active through the ages and today.
When my son was diagnosed with autism more than thirty years ago, I put on my yellow rescue vest, and rarely take it off. I’ve discovered that my work as rescuer has bled over into the rest of my life. I need to let go of the myth that I have the power to rescue or change anyone but myself. God is inviting me to take off the yellow rescue vest and let God be God!
Even though there is no such thing as balance, there is such a thing as balancing, so that we can honor the fact that there is a time for everything. Balancing requires us to work smart, understand and create time for our priorities, and practice peace.
On a day when I saw several miracles, I was reminded again that I never really know what’s happening. My brain insists on thinking the thoughts it has learned to believe. I continue to learn to resist, reframe and redirect my thoughts, so I can see the new thing that’s already happening right before my eyes that I’m just not seeing yet.
It’s always easier to stay with what is familiar than to venture out into deep water when we’re already tired, when we feel like we’ve been fishing all night to no avail. Pull in the nets and go home, get a good night’s sleep, and do the same-old same-old tomorrow. But Jesus commands us to throw the nets back in, right here, right now. This is always the turning point: the present moment. Jesus knows what’s out there, waiting for us: abundance, over-flowing abundance.
When the expectations are set from the start that our special needs kids can do something for themselves, they will excel and step up to the task. Just simply pausing to wait for them to do the skill can help them; don’t jump in too soon to assist. Patience is the key.
Perfect timing does not exist. Is there something that you know you should start, stop, change or do? Perhaps there is something big that God is urging you to tackle? Today, ask God to show you why you aren’t doing it.
We want to see churches start with disability in their DNA. We want people with disabilities to be targets of the evangelistic efforts new churches make, and participants in the early stages of a church’s life. One of our core convictions is that when a church doesn’t include people with disabilities, the church itself is disabled. People with disabilities remind us that God’s grace is shown most powerfully in weakness. They remind us that we all must remain dependent on God for our daily bread.
As Easter nears, we humbly ask for Your tender care in the lives of each child and family. May our church services truly be a place of sanctuary for all families this Easter, as we gather to honor You, Lord.
We so often focus on the limitations in our life. We can feel these limitations keenly, perhaps especially as our friends and their children reach milestones. And there is truth in these limitations: there are many things my family will always struggle with that others don’t. We are shaped by limitations. But it is also true that we are shaped by unique giftedness, strengths, talents and abilities. We are shaped by the Creator with purpose.
Living in denial may protect us for a time. We need the Lord’s strength in our weakness to help us move forward and face the future, however scary it might be.
As we gather to pray on this National Day of Prayer, let’s make sure that people of all abilities have opportunities to join with us in worship and be part of the serving team too.
Profoundly original. Each one of us. How a young man with autism, firmly rooted and grounded in who he is in Christ, models that confidence to his church
God often does much with little. These Kenyan pastors don’t see all the resources that are lacking. They see their own bodies and energies, and have plans to do more with the resources within themselves than many of us do with the luxuries in our culture.
Mental health ministry might mean your church is providing support groups or training, but it might mean stepping out to creatively meet a unique need in your church or local community.
Looking back fifteen years later, I’m so thankful God brought her to my mind that day. I am also reminded of how much we all need each other to be willing to share our struggles so that others will know they are not alone, to be willing to listen and offer those same words, “You can do this!”
If the church is to be Christ-like and world-shaping, we need to be leaders and pioneers in loving all of God’s people, not lagging far behind our schools and social service organizations in how we respond to the needs around us.
We can stop and ask ourselves, “Where did that come from? Whose voice is in my head telling me to feel that way?” If it’s not from God, then it’s coming from the world. If it’s not from God, it may very well be a lie. If it’s not from God, it’s really not worth listening to.
We have the invitation to see the opportunities we have when it feels as if all eyes are on us. We can be a bright light that illuminates God’s love and truth, his forgiveness and care, his delight in his creation.
Just as the word love has different connotations in the Bible than it does in the world, so, too, “love” may look different than one expects or is commonly seen in today’s culture.
Churches across the US are increasingly implementing mental health ministry. Three characteristics of successful mental health ministry initiatives are collaboration, cultural competence and a call to action.
Patty shares important reminders as you’re looking for the best school environment for your child with special-needs.
In 46 years of marriage and 33 years of raising a son with autism, we have journeyed from place to place. Some of the journey has been through deserts, some through rocky terrain, some through raging waters, some through places of incredible beauty. It has been through seeking God every step of the way, and in intentionally taking time to dig wells to collect the life-giving waters of His presence, that we have moved from strength to strength.
In whatever ways you get connected outside your church, being intentional about networking with other leaders in disability ministry has personal and professional advantages as well as benefits for those you serve.
Special-needs parenting can feel like the movie “Groundhog Day.” We do the same things over and over. But Melanie reminds us what God is doing each new day!
Do you find you are in a similar situation? Do you feel isolated? How do you keep from becoming lonely and depressed?
If you want to be encouraged and inspired to walk this path in a stronger, better way, then read Common Man, Extraordinary Call. It was Jeff’s dream to give you this book, and you won’t regret taking the time to read it.
We’re scratching out the lines of Noah’s diagnoses and trying to figure out where they intersect. We’re addressing each symptom day by day, and just doing the best we can. This is uncharted territory for us, and honestly? We’re a bit lost. But God isn’t.
If you’re a newer or smaller church, be encouraged. You can start some kind of disability ministry or outreach now. You don’t have to wait till you’re bigger and wealthier (that day may not come…and statistics say you probably won’t start one then anyway).
Joy should be our desired destination. But the only way to get there, friend, is to acknowledge the ugly things we feel, and then to address them. We need to walk the road that leads to healing.
Special-needs parenting is a journey. It is not a sprint. There are ups and downs, but the big picture of the graph has an incline up. Don’t let your fears take over your life like they did mine.
Jeff was a true champion of fathers of kids with special needs. His ability to speak into the lives of men struggling with the feelings of hopelessness common to dads in families impacted by disability is irreplaceable. His words of wisdom will be a blessing to men who missed out on knowing him in this life.
One of the critical pieces of making life work around mental health issues is self-care. How do you minimize the effect that mental health issues are going to have? How do you give yourself the resiliency to bounce back if something happens? How do you maintain the self-care to survive situations that feel more like a gauntlet than a punch in the gut?
2018 was absolutely chock full of changes. There have been moments this past year when I wanted to just stop in my tracks and stare into the abyss like Marlin in “Finding Nemo.” I’ve even been tempted to swim backwards a little bit. But I remember to “Just keep swimming!”
I love entering into the New Year with this astounding truth. God is with us. God became one of us. In the Message we read, “God moved into the neighborhood.” What does this mean to me as the mom of Joel, an adult son with autism?
My Christmas advice to all the parents of special kids is this: enjoy and embrace the exceptional innocence and wonder of your child this holiday season. At whatever level they understand or experience Christmas, soak that in and hold it tight.
Dear Father, For those in our midst who have adopted or are fostering children who’ve experienced trauma, we pray especially over them at Christmas …
I simultaneously take great comfort and am terrified by the fact that my children understand and experience faith more by who I am and how I live than by the particular things I say in those moments when I think I’m ‘teaching’ them about God.
Organizations like Key Ministry give people like me much needed information, encouragement, and genuine hope.
Let us look back on what Christ did for us, let us look forward to what is to come when we meet Him face to face, and let us serve others so He can be glorified.
If there is anything in my life that I prioritize over God, then I am serving that idol before I serve him. Not all too surprising, a lot of the potential idols that came to mind I found to be associated with having a child with special needs!
Lisa shares thirteen reasons she’s thankful for the disability-friendly church!
With this simple template, Beth and the staff at Colorado Community Church have helped hundreds of people with their mental health and helped them understand themselves as children of God. You can do the same!
If we just blame everything on “He’s going through hormonal changes,” then we won’t be thinking of how we can support and help him.
I need courage to say no as well as saying yes to many things. For I am called, yes, but not called to collapse.
I have to unplug on a daily basis if I want to be my best, healthy self. Last week I ended up in bed for three days because I refused to unplug. On overload, my body shut down.
I want to say “thank you” to leaders who are taking time to prayerfully ponder, be sensitive to, and invest in the experiences of their special-needs families throughout this beautiful holiday season. Your gift of love can give joy to an entire family.
Why do we so quickly look to our child’s IEP as such a critical document which must be followed to a T, while in our personal lives, we allow God’s IEP for us go untouched, unexplored, and unfollowed.
As parents of those with special needs, most of us long for our children to have a place to belong and at least one person to call friend. Sometimes these friendships may be unconventional and not always with peers, but does that truly matter?
I sat outside of a federal prison yard and fought back deep, heavy tears of gratitude. I was about to be overwhelmed by a sobbing that comes from a place of awe at God divinely knitting together such an unbelievably beautiful tapestry.
I am who I am, imperfect, and my son with autism loves me just the same. Every day, he teaches me about the unconditional, extravagant love of Jesus.
November—just a few shorts weeks away—is recognized as National Adoption Awareness Month. If your church plans to acknowledge the plight of orphans and children in foster care next month, consider the following ways to prepare:
Why is it that David starts this Psalm recalling your goodness and then moves on to dark times? This doesn’t make for a good story, yet it sadly rings true to my own experience.
During the month of August, we conducted a survey of Key Ministry’s audience priorities for mental health ministry. Here are the results!
Jesus said the last shall be first. In every generation, people with disabilities have lived life in the back of the line. They have been “last.” But on Restoration Day, the honor will be reversed.
Understanding the “pre-apology” mindset can help our churches create more welcoming, inclusive, and engaging worship experiences for families with special needs. The resulting diversity in our communities helps us better reflect the heart of Jesus among others and enriches our personal experience of Christ too.
I am not enough for my children. And every time I try to be, I take on a role that isn’t mine. I am not supposed to be enough for their total happiness, or the solution to all their problems, or sufficient for all their questions. I can’t be, no matter how hard I try.
But God is enough for all I am not.
So how sick is sick enough to get help? If you are asking the question, it is probably time.
We serve a great God who went to the cross for all our pains and suffering and is making all things new. This stuff is temporary and is only preparing glorious things for us in eternity.
After a challenging worship service, what is good for me is to dwell on the smooth, the amazing, the miraculous thing that is the family of God among whom God has placed us as a little family.
Hearing another’s struggle may help a viewer identify their own mental health issues. Talking openly about mental illness gives other people permission to talk about their own struggles.
The Lord has really been talking to me lately about slowing down. He has been telling me that is is ok to not be as busy as I have been in years.
I received so many thank yous in response to my introductory e-mail that it felt like an amazing start to the school year. Is it PERFECT? No. Will it EVER be? No. But just like Jesus, my confidence is in GOD, not man; so I will not despair, and I will never lose hope.
Father, thank you for people like Bill who are not afraid to reach out and pray for complete strangers. Thank you for the assurance that you are always with us and that nothing is out of Your sight.
Our church has been developing a more accessible holiday club (VBS) over the last few years. Just small adjustments and significant yet small provision to enable all to come and get involved.
I will always love Charlie as you will always love your child, but we want them to grow through others as well. I pray for my Charlie that God will bring friends into his life and that he will grow in his social skills.
When the presence of God is with you in the midst of the fire, you can survive it!! But survival isn’t enough—you can have been in the fire without even smelling like smoke!
No matter the circumstances of my life, I am in a period of intentional, life-long waiting for the return of Christ. Living one day at a time, waiting for a future redemption. This does not make me brave, it just makes me human.
Lord, help us see all image bearers as beautiful image bearers. Convict our hearts when we don’t.
When I focus on the terrible things that have happened, I get depressed, stressed, and anxious. When I fix my eyes on the goodness of the Lord, recalling times I have seen Him work, and remember good things, then I feel peace and contentment.
I knew teens with ASD are more prone to depression. And I knew my son was depressed. What I didn’t know was just how bad it was.
Within that new new thing, I find the ONE thing that will be my refreshment, my resource, and my strength through it all.
I never expected that our experiences with churches and Christian school would give me insights into why so many non-believers reject Christian communities.
Summer is a time for rest, vacation, and rejuvenation. It is also a time when our kids are home for long periods of time, and that can be stressful. Here are tips to regain your “summer calm.”
How churches can encourage and support siblings in special-needs families.
When I target the separate goals, I feel stretched. When I see the one thing, I feel anchored and grounded, and by some miracle, so much more gets done.
I pray my hopes and dreams for my children, given over to God in prayer, can become the vibrant, colorful and extraordinary hopes and dreams their heavenly Father sees when he looks on them with love.
Each member of the adoption triad experiences the grief of it differently: the adoptive parent, the child, and the birth parents. If churches can minister tenderly to the deep losses experienced in adoption, we can, I hope, heal and experience the joys of adoption more fully.
The word useful is not even acceptable in describing another image bearer of God. Instead we must look at each person as created in the image of the life-giving, restoration-bringing, peace-restoring Savior and give thanks for their diversity whether sex, disability, or race.
God measures by faith, by overcoming, by working with what we’re given, not by results. Results are up to Him.
I then realized after our challenging day that I needed to hear those words: “Sometimes things change, and change is good.” I realized while I was teaching Charlie this over thirteen years ago, it came back and helped me in the here and now. Now he’s telling me, “Mom it will be ok.”
How to rise above disappointment? Choose to give thanks for all the blessings that you do have, and turn your eyes upon Jesus. When you do this, disappointment will grow dim in the light of God’s glory and grace.
We have a lot of negativity to contend with as parents of children with special needs, and in order to have the strength, humility, and wisdom to do that, we need to be in touch with God DAILY. Let’s not let the devil get a foothold!
This life with a special needs child is filled with so many fears. Mostly revolving around fear of the future. But, when I let my fears change me instead of control me, I find gifts in the what ifs.
Autism means that the traditional developmental windows disappear. This gap is made complicated by time passing. Time passes, but the season doesn’t. How do we find hope?
We were MADE to stand out. Jesus stood out too. This was how people were drawn to him! This was how he could teach about God’s love!
For 33 years I’ve watched the gifts of the Spirit manifest in my son Joel, who has autism. As Jesus said, everyone gets in on it! And watch out! Joel is not shy about sharing his gifts with the church!
Coming face-to-face with disability—as in I cuddle my kiddo’s nose every morning, every night, and moments in between—has made me aware of a whole different kind of physical and mental exertion.
Within the church, we have our own language (some would say jargon) to describe our faith. Similarly, there are terms used within the adoption community that—despite a generalized understanding—are commonly misunderstood by those who aren’t part of it.
When summer gets closer and you are not sure what to do, remind yourself what steps you need to put in place to help you feel calm and be able to get it all done.
Motherhood presents the opportunity for the parent of a challenged child to either be a breath of fresh air or a toxic rain cloud. Which will you be?
As we lean on Him and remember verses from the Bible He renews us and helps us take care of our children and check off some of tasks on our to-do list. But more importantly we are reminded that he carries everything on His shoulders so we don’t have to.
The more you renew your mind—focus on God and His word—the more He will consume, and before you know it, all the other worries, fears and stresses of the day will be overtaken and overshadowed by the goodness of God.
My daughter will get to know Jesus and will chat with him in the way that comes most naturally to her. And in his faithfulness, just as he does with me and you, he will meet her there and speak life into her heart.
Diane Kim, author of Unbroken Faith: Spiritual Recovery for the Special-Needs Parent, is offering an email series just for you: 5 Days to Spiritual Recovery for the Special-Needs Parent.
So, what can I/we do when what I call grief triggers happen? When different seasons in the journey threaten to overtake us? For me it’s meant going back to the basics.
That feeling of abandonment by the people of God can lead to feelings of abandonment by God. But acceptance by a church will never equal God’s acceptance. God, through His Son, choose to be with me, to walk along with our family.
I can learn a lot from my girl. She is so forgiving and loving. Though anxiety is high because she cannot correctly read peoples expressions, she persists to join in community life anyway.
How should we react when others are mean to our kids? Instead of getting angry and walking away, use the opportunity to teach. Maybe God will use you to help them stop and spread even more awareness.
I pray God will show each of us in a very real way that he is right beside us. As he slows his pace to match ours, I pray we will listen to his whispers of hope and encouragement to us in this difficult season of life.
In order for young people to grow in emotional health and mature in their faith, they must have adequate opportunity to ask their questions, process their feelings, share their ideas and—perhaps most of all—have their perspectives valued within a process that is undergirded in prayer.
I need you. I need to see you love you, hear from God for you and grow through your obstacles as you keep moving forward. Just for you. Not just for me.
Many Christians build their families through adoption out of loving concern for orphans and to live the faith James describes. I hope churches continue to bring the orphan crisis to light. And, as they do, I pray we—as the Church—can come alongside the families whose children’s past trauma continues to cause the “distress” James 1:27 mentions.
I hope to use our experience to encourage others, especially those who surround families like mine. So here are five ways others can support foster and adoptive families:
A chance encounter while shopping with her son opens a mother’s eyes to the sprinkled blessings of living with autism, including her son’s compassion for people in his community and unconditional love for his family
What can your church do to “change the mental health light bulb”? To educate and equip your leaders and congregants to minister to families with mental health issues?
God wants to be the source of our strength which means we NEED to be stretching ourselves.
While I loved hearing a sermon on the new kind of community that Jesus dying on the cross and rising again created, it made me sad that those with diverse ability levels were left out.
If I lived in a world where everyone had a special needs family member, it wouldn’t be so hard to stand out. If everyone dealt with the daily challenges of caring for someone medically complicated, it wouldn’t be so lonely. And if those things were so, then it would just be normal.
When things are smooth, and the landscape is clear, we can see God and we revel in the glory of His presence. Then hard times come and we can lose sight. But God has clearly told us in Scripture that there is value to SEEKING Him.
As I’ve started to believe His Word, I can testify that He has given me more and made life better, even as bigger challenges arise. It actually can get better for us who believe.
God is not put off by your recognition that life is not what you want it to be. He is in it with you, more than you can know. The good news is, he is in the business of redemption, restoration, and re-creation. His good plans will far exceed your wishes. So live in grief for what you have lost, and live in anticipation for what will be. You are blessed.
There is an antidote to the discouragement we sometimes feel as parents of kids with special needs and emotional disorders. The antidote is praise. Psalms 117 and 100 make it clear. Praise works!
Disabilities can prove to be life’s unwelcome white noise: always present, always loud, and always unwelcome. Is there a way to turn down the volume? Noah showed me that with a little knowledge and a lot of love, the answer is yes.
The truth is special needs parents are going to face ups and downs, turns and twists. There is a good chance in 2018 we will not be immune to the ebbs and flows of life. It’s how we respond to these hills and valleys that remind us that God is faithful.
Some of us have difficult children who continually chose defiance. But, as parents, our main objective is to train them up in the instruction of the Lord.
I am so thankful that Luke could be baptized. I’m grateful for a church that was flexible, made it happen and even got it on video. Mostly I’m amazed by the Lord, who works through our worries and weaknesses to show His love and power.
Even though it may be hard and the deck is stacked against meeting these needs, you will push through to be healthy so you can offer your best personal, parenting, and professional gifts to those you are here to serve.
A child’s autism and a parent’s dementia. Sometimes life seems too much to bear. Psalm 42 invites us to empty out the pockets of our lives and invite God in
We are looking at a new generation of caregivers who need confidence that their church has their back while God comforts, guides, and strengthens them for the invaluable roles they play in their families as special-needs siblings.
Who knows what is in store for me for 2018 or even tomorrow? God already knows. I just need to keep asking, “What Lord can I help you with today?”
Don’t aim for perfection during your Christmas celebration because it has never existed on this earth, not even at the first Christmas. Knowing this, do your best to imagine a positive ending to your family’s story and to live it out to the best of your ability.
God loves you and wants you to trust Him, rely on Him, and feel His peace. He wants to take your burdens—let Him.
As parents of children with disabilities we must be the voice of our children, speaking truth to power of doctors, insurance, educators, and government
The process of moving from fragmented to integrated is, thankfully, energized by the Holy Spirit’s transformational work in our lives. So it starts with surrender, and agreeing with God on his beautiful, integrated plan for my life. And then it goes bumpily from there.
Rest in Him and rely on Him to guide you in your busy life of being a caregiver for your child.
Psalm 90 invites God to surprise us every day. By opening our eyes, we see that we are surrounded by God’s surprises and blessings, even in the tough times.
Karen’s friend shared one phrase that helped her find hope after her daughter’s diagnosis.
How do you love someone through their anxiety when you have to overcome your own?
Probably the one thing that I have lacked most often during my life as a special mom is strength.
We’re excited to announce a new resource for our readers—a video series on topics related to disability ministry!
Wholeness does not mean perfection. How can we, as parents of kids with disabilities, as well as our churches, embrace them just as they are?
He decides the yeses and nos on health history forms. Who am I to question these things with my weak questions like Why? when all along His answer, His promise truly, is, I will be with you. I will instruct you.
I will keep pushing Charlie and remind him he can do anything (maybe with help, which is ok) that he wants to do. There are no limits when you give your best effort.
In our journey to find a diagnosis for our daughter, I really am getting better at living with uncertainty.
When I limit another person to be only a message, or a lesson, or an inspiration, I take away their relatability, their humanity, and suddenly they are not a person like you and me.
Through my occupational struggles I learned five valuable lessons helpful for people with disabilities seeking employment.
Prioritize taking care of yourself so you can care for your children, and choose interpretations of their behavior as peaceful not harmful.
In my experience, mothers of kids with disabilities are desperate for events where they are spiritually fed in ways that apply directly to the challenges and intricacies of their life. And you know what is available to them? Very little. Often nothing.
You, not what you do, are a gift to your child.
Parenting may be one of the most rewarding jobs on earth, but it’s also one of the most difficult. How can parents of kids with disabilities re-fuel daily?
When my heart knows deep within me the true value lies in the eternal work that God is doing through my son, I can celebrate these earthly accomplishments.
It may seem difficult to set a high priority to build healthy relationships with so many other pressing needs. However, healthy relationships are key tool to personal resilience for the journey ahead.
Key Ministry’s fall group study: Hope & Healing for Special-Needs Parents, an Online Course with Hope Anew
Eyes are the window to the soul. Take a deep, loving look into your child’s eyes and see what is written on their soul! What message do your eyes convey?
I have been an autism mom a little over 13 years now. I have learned so many things so far and I wanted to share some of them with you.
Learn more about our Special Needs and Disability Ministry Leaders Facebook group and join today!
You parent a child with special needs and sometimes you feel alone and invisible. But you are not alone. I see you.
Lord, when I’m waiting for beautiful, even when it hurts, give me strength to release my agenda and to initiate yours.
The more consistently you spend time with God the more you will recognize His voice and hear Him as he leads you. The more you recognize the voice that matters the more you will see your true identity and purpose in this life.
Mike Dobes shares his story about joining disability ministry when he had no prior experience, and how much he’s learned doing so.
Your body needs respite from adrenaline and cortisol, and the crazy won’t feel so crazy when you are regulated.
Would you like to plant a wildflower garden, and cultivate a wildflower heart, all at the same time? The Lord has been showing me how!
I am still on the journey, but I want to keep paying this forward. I want to help moms/dads/grandparents behind me. I want to give them hope. I want to encourage them like I was encouraged. Are you at that point to reach out to others to encourage them. How are you able to pay it forward?
The name Nathan means “gift of God.” God gave us a gift that we did not expect, but He knows Nathan fully and completely. He knows all the answers to these questions that I do not.
While grief is part of coping with illness or disability, shame doesn’t have to be.
Advocate like it depends on you. Trust like it depends on God, because it does, and He is dependable.
“Oh Lord, send my son some friends!!!” became my heart’s cry. God answered in His timing, as God always does. God sent us Grace.
We’ve all been there. We are fathers and mothers and men and women and children who have walked through this valley. We know this darkness well.
There are three summertime structure ideas I think help my family and me during those hot summer months:
Though my innocence was lost when my son was born with multiple disabilities. His will never be. Nathan will likely maintain the innocence of a child for all his days, giving others a perspective many of us lose way too soon.
The best teachers for students with autism have tight boundaries with a softness of heart—a perfect combination of structure yet nurturing.
We laughed on the way home, joking about what an awful start it had been, but I told him how proud I was of him despite it all. Noah held my hand, lightly, as he does only when it is dark and no one can see him. And he promised to take better care of his equipment. I laughed.
I regret how often I may have drowned out God’s voice with my intense efforts to learn and seek expert opinion. Lord, help me silence my inner Supermom so I can hear your voice.
This life we live with disability is not a lesser life. It’s a life of blessing, because all children are a blessing.
Maybe our traditions won’t look like the typical ones, and maybe they don’t need to. As long as they infuse that extra drop of energy … and maybe help the wider community see, hear, and understand the needs of our families just a little better.
When we are stressed as parents of kids with disabilities, our eyes can be closed to Jesus’ presence. This is a story of eyes opened in an unexpected way.
Mothers Day is this month. I know it won’t go the way you once thought it would go. But know this my daughter, we are all standing and applauding you up here. We see you.
I’m doing it the same as you would if you were in my situation. One day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. Waiting on grace upon grace, straight from the hand of God.
Helping my friend has begun with loving her regardless of her daily disposition. Here are some other ways you can be an agent of change and assist in healing a wounded soul.
I am grateful that God chose me specifically to me his mom and that I will always be thankful and humbled. God chose YOU too! He chose you specifically to be your child’s mother. He is crazy about you and loves you so much!
Before I can get to that place of appreciation, however, I need to reflect on the following truths regarding decision-making. My hope is that they will help you grow in peace as you make or reflect on your present or past decisions.
So this month, I get to yield to God’s working in my heart and accept the love others give, as they grow in awareness of autism and what it means to families like mine. Still, I want to weigh in on the challenge of awareness in our faith communities and what it would mean to me.
Our children are just a part of our destiny they are not our only destiny.
In this interview, Jolene discusses the most current research on PTSD as well as healing treatments.
We’ve come to see Mohamed as a member of our family. And as lonely as he is for his family still in Mauritania, Mohamed has come to see us as family as well.
God doesn’t want us to focus on the mistakes. He wants us to focus on Him and what He has done for us to live forever. So the next time you mess up, think of God putting His hand out once again to lift you up with a great big smile. He is always there to extend His grace, His love, and His strength.
I cannot begin to understand how God works through these mysterious concepts, but I do know this: DISCOURAGEMENT FLEES WHEN WE HAVE FAITH THAT GOD IS GOOD AND THAT HE WILL REWARD OUR HOPE.
And in the mundane moments, threatened with challenging emotions and flawed parenting, I’m grateful that He understands, listens, loves, embraces and walks with me every step of the way. He does all the heavy lifting, regardless of diagnoses, character flaws and multiple dysfunctional parenting behaviors.
Kathy’s new book will help you see how God takes broken dreams and turns them into something beautiful and redemptive.
A new day program without walls is a testimony to how days in the community, with supports, can work, even for folks with challenging behaviors.
PTSD is a very real, very difficult and complex trauma diagnosis. We follow a God who promises to heal as we submit to His care and the care of those trained to provide treatment and healing.
My hope is in Christ and what peace he gives me every single day. There are 3 things you can do to feel hope when you are feeling discouraged.
Everything may not be “good” right now; but all is well because of Him. He has heard every one of your tears as a liquid prayer. Look for that little tiny bit of light coming through the pinhole poking through the hopelessness you might be feeling. Choose hope.
We didn’t know our son’s Asperger’s Syndrome would come with something else—something more frightening, something requiring even more faith.
Some people will never get what it is like to walk in our shoes as special needs parents. I know the pain and the hurt, but, it’s time to forgive and let go.
Karen shares a poem she wrote after experiencing a painful moment with others who wounded her family.
Stephanie O. Hubach, Gillian Marchenko, Amy Julia Becker, and Ellen Stumbo share truths they have learned because of their children with Down syndrome.
We are created by God, sent to earth with sealed orders, a special purpose. What is your child’s God-given purpose? Step out of the way and let it unfold!
Winter feels different when I pay attention while not fighting it (in my mind), when I reduce my list of demands and if I prepare for it. Wow!
Since depression is one of the leading disabling conditions today, it’s time to embrace the struggles and supports needed. Labeling is so crushing; it’s time for us to learn and listen to those in need. Additionally, it’s time to unite as a Christian community of care, not criticism. The following are seven common struggles, their symptoms, and ways to support.
God always places different people in our lives to encourage us. We have to be open though to notice who those people are.
My boys on the spectrum were never good sleepers. But last night in the dark, we discovered the difference between knowing and understanding.
“Better has no endpoint.” Whatever stage we are at in our ministry work or our own walk with Christ, we recognize we are on a continuum.
Dr. Lamar Hardwick shares about his diagnosis with autism and his personal advocacy, as well as his new book I Am Strong: The Life and Journey of an Autistic Pastor.
Special-needs parenting is still one of the most challenging things you will do, but our thoughts often make it more difficult than necessary.
If we will be bold to start going back to church and letting the church see the need, then letting the church know there are orginizations that would love to help the church meet the need, we can see the crack in the wall get bigger and bigger until one day the walls begin to fall down.
Can’t we ONCE AND FOR ALL QUIT THIS BLAME GAME! Stop blaming those who struggle; instead, try loving and serving people who are challenged.
People learn to do things faster by being around others who are successfully learning/modeling the same thing. So, I’m adding to my New Year’s Resolutions: Model it. Share it. I will focus on the present, model it for my family, and explain it, along with my ups and downs, to my kids, regardless of diagnosis or disability.
The call to love others as you love yourself assumes you love yourself in the first place, right? So do whatever you need to do to be emotionally healthy.
If you feel a dense gray fog closing around your mind or spirit, and see nothing beyond it, remain confident! The hidden but steady force of the universe—our God—who loves you immensely—is keeping the desires of your heart alive until He finds the right time to reveal them.
A new year brings a new diagnosis, and the need for balance. Thankfully, we’re up to the challenge.
Practical ways to stay calm and take care of yourself when your child with hidden disabilities is on a rampage, melting down, or taking life out on you.
I am thankful that God shows me weekly how the smallest accomplishments can be so greatly celebrated.
The new year offers hope to us all… maybe not in the way it does for others… but if our hope is in Jesus… no matter what this year brings for our children…good or bad…we know that each thing will work towards an eternal weight in glory
Too much Christmas. Unavoidable? Maybe not! Try celebrating 12 days of Christmas, starting Christmas day, simply meditating on the miracle of Jesus
If you are a special-needs parent like me, here are the only resolutions you need to focus on for now …
Special needs parenting support that gives permission for us to learn to truly rest when we can.
So today, don’t shrink back. Stand, in faith and see what God will do. He’s given you all you need, and, like most of His provisions, it will show up exactly on time. The divine power of the Holy One will give you and yours all that’s needed.
Is it possible that my son, in his simplest understanding and longing for Jesus, is playing and replaying another scene? Instead of being in awe of Santa Claus coming to town, perhaps the “HoHoHo” spoken from the mouth of a disabled man-child—who desperately loves God—echoes with silent joy,
Scripture tells us numerous times about prayer power. So how do we jive unanswered prayer with what the Word of God tells us?
He knows what tomorrow or even what the next minute will bring and only He is control of it. We absolutely have choices, but He wants us to look to Him in everything.
Parenting means change. Parenting special needs children like Jesse means the change can be uncomfortable.
Our church does not have a formal inclusion program. It simply lives inclusion. I believe this is the way God wants it to be—especially at Christmas.
As bad as awareness can be across the world about the value of special needs children, everyone is on a different journey.
I really want to engage this journey with the attitude of an explorer. What is God inviting me into?
What do we do when the government closes our child’s day program? We look to our Creator for the creativity to make a day program without walls. And trust.
The issue of “orphan care” has become rather en vogue within the Church — even to the point of having an “Orphan Sunday.” And that’s all good and well, but if we are not careful, the Church could be the crowd on the shore. But what if, instead of saying “we only know how to say jump,” the crowd had rushed to the end of the pier, with arms outstretched, yelling “Hang on! Help is on the way! Don’t lose hope!
The challenge in parenting isn’t deciding what to do when everything goes exactly as planned. The question is how we parent when things go NUTS?
As parents of children with special needs, it is easy to forget the dreams we had for our own lives. But God has not forgotten your dreams.
God has big plans for our kids. There are no limits ever! You may need to keep working toward goals, but I know God may have different paths for our kids and if we go to him in prayer daily He will guide us to help them.
Anxiety is part of special needs parenting—but so is joy! Keep watch because sooner or later God will reveal His amazing grace.
The world feels like it’s about to explode. But 5 minutes with my special boys is sometimes all it takes for gratitude to grow.
The comparison trap was handcrafted by the enemy as a way to strip you of your self-worth and to build walls between youand other parents.
My loving Father knowing exactly what I needed and crafting an experience to suit my needs. I know that I won’t always see God’s gifts so clearly, so I indulged in the moment’s clarity and really celebrated the presence of my loving God in every moment.
God often shifts our view of life with disability when we least expect it. Paradigm shifts can even happen when we’re in the ER!
We have to look always at the ways our kids are growing and learning. Along the way, we can smile, laugh, and look back on these things as critical moments when they grew. It may be a different way, but that is ok.
Even if your son or daughter is not currently choosing faith, remember that God, the ultimate parent, is in control. Good can still happen—don’t doubt it!
I love them so. I am content in my circumstances. They are like all other boys, but better. I would not change them for all the world. I get more than I deserve. Double, in fact.
Whatever your need, find the Scriptures that speak to that need. Then begin to speak those Scriptures every day. Take your devotional life with God to another level, and watch God begin to work behind the scenes on your behalf.
A poem from Greg Lucas:
Strong yet helpless there I knelt and held his tiny hand;
Wondering if the God of Jacob soon would make a stand.
As dreams imagined disappeared and shattered in my eyes,
“This is my son!” rose from my lips and lifted to the skies.
My job is just to obey. Even if that means doing nothing. Or doing less. Or trusting Him to use others to do what I cannot. If I do that, I’ve done my job.
Faith decides to be brave and take her son to a coffee shop. It doesn’t go as she planned, but she’s still encouraged!
Yet we know that even in this unexpected life of ours, God’s grace abounds. He heals, restores, comforts and strengthens. He is a God who saves.
Our church community didn’t know what we would need, but they said yes with us: yes to loving through the brokenness, yes to being faithful to the ones (me included) who need to learn to trust once again, yes to a bit more chaos in our row during worship, yes to choosing to do good for young ones for whom others hadn’t always chosen good in their recent past.
As the mother of a 31-year-old son with autism, I long to be known by God. I often need comfort, discernment, direction, or just a simple “hug” from the Holy Spirit. I need to know that God loves me, even with all of my shortcomings.
We do much as parents to help our kids get resources and skills for life. Sometimes the very best thing is simply letting our special needs kids grow up.
When our children struggle with talking, walking, eating, social relationships, behaviorally, physically, or in anyway our gut instinct is to go into action helping them in any way we can. He wants us to first go to Him in prayer, giving it to Him fully.
Encouragement for the single parents raising children with disabilities from Debbie Kay.
I am Noah’s cheerleader, his coach. But sometimes it takes a chance encounter to remind him that on this autism journey, being different is just as good.
When we place our faith in the future grace of God through the finished work of Jesus, we are placing our faith in an omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent Father. He is not lacking in His love or care—past, present, or future.
Karen shares very thankful shout-outs to those who made her family’s lives easier.
Brenda and I were talking about how difficult it is for a teacher to stretch beyond their “success” style and the challenge that the special needs student offers. She asked me to help her with encouraging her teachers on why its important to keep the big picture in mind when working with special needs students. The ideas turned into a letter from a parent to their child’s teachers.
Abraham could lay down his precious, beloved son, fully entrusting Isaac to God’s care. And so can we.
More than anything, mental health ministry is about your church community, as a whole, getting the concept that people with mental health issues aren’t problems to be solved, they are people to be loved.
So how can we, in the name of Christ, come alongside those who hurt themselves?
Faith and her son have been on this autism journey together for 16 years. Faith reflects back on how she’s seen God move in each new stage of his life.
I worried so much about what the extra chromosome would do to my daughters’ relationship, but I had nothing to worry about, because there is so much love.
Helping our kids with disabilities find and establish friendships can be a challenge when they’re young, but it’s an even bigger challenge as they grow older and age out of the school system. However, it’s one of the most important things we, as parents, can do for our children!
Can you even remember when you stopped praying for that miracle?
Call me crazy, but one of the first thoughts that crossed my mind when my daughter was born with Down syndrome was, “Will she live with us forever?”
My daughter’s eyes were on me. Her ears were listening. She needed to hear my answer more than anyone else.
Tips for a smooth back to school transition for our kids.
How are you doing with your child’s needs and the challenges that come with them daily? What would it take to admit how you really feel? Will you take the risk to find fresh comfort and freedom in your relationship with your child and their challenges today?
Karen shares stories of when medical professionals caused more stress for her family.
People who don’t have ADHD probably never imagine how much effort goes into the smallest task, the simplest morning routine, nor do they know how frustrating it is to spend that much effort and still do it badly.
Dear typical sibling of a brother or sister with a disability, today I want to speak to you as a parent, perhaps not your parent, but a parent nonetheless.
Don’t give up. God is there rooting for you and is your biggest cheerleader. He wants you to come to Him, resting in His Word.
My wife Sam and I definitely have had our issues but the one thing we kept saying to each other was that we wouldn’t back away. We would just keep moving toward one another.
God created our bodies and our minds. Mental health issues don’t catch him by surprise. As his people, let’s not act surprised when they show up in our lives or churches either.
Sarah was hoping for a relaxing, laid back summer. But that’s not what her boys (both on the high end of the autism spectrum) needed!
As I left that meeting, it struck me: changing churches as a unique family is hard, but the same elements that make us stand out also make others notice us more easily.
When we can look up, look into each other’s faces, I think what we can realize everywhere we turn is that the person across from us, despite any difference in appearance, ability or culture, is actually very much “like me.”
What does it take to be able to shift from debilitating inaction to positive, purposeful action? Positive psychological capital—a combination of self-efficacy, optimism, hope, and resilience.
Shannon Dingle shares the four types of special-needs found in adoptive and foster care families.
Parenting kids with disabilities has its own unique challenges. As a special-needs parent, sometimes I need to be reassured of some facts.
Washing windows brightens up the house. Washing windows of the eyes of our hearts brings light to our lives as parents of kids with disabilities.
I am so excited to share my new book, The Spiritual Art of Raising Children with Disabilities with you! Here is an excerpt from the introduction.
Because acronyms help facts stick in our head, I’ve created one here: COPE. Teens – or kids or adults – cut for Control, as an Obsessive Behavior, as Punishment, or as an Emotional release. For me, it was all of the above.
Before launching the mental health pilot in my church, I spent months talking and meeting with individuals of influence within the church community, many with ‘lived experience.’ The goal of such conversations was ultimately to generate support for the idea that we could—as a faith community—be much more upfront about the reality of mental illness, in all its various forms—and begin truly supporting one another.
Our citizenship is in heaven, but what does this promise mean to a desperate dad and his disabled son?
Summer gatherings can be more enjoyable with just a few small courtesies planned in advance.
Why are we so afraid of disability? Let’s put away fear and embrace the person. The value of life is not found in who we are not, but in who we already are.
Bring your stories of redemption, we say. Your testimonies of sobriety are welcome here. But if you’re in the muck right now, we’d really rather you clean yourself up because we don’t really want to get dirty.
Are you using your struggles for His glory or will you choose to crawl up in a ball? I am making the choice to use ALL things for His glory.
Here are ten ideas for staff wanting to help children with autism succeed at a camp for typical kids.
I am the clay. My primary source of regulation (sensory, emotional, physical … ) is the hand of the Potter on my life, holding, prompting, guiding.
Noah went out with a bang, as Noah does. But a transition to middle school gives us pause for thanksgiving—a reflection on just how far he’s come.
Maybe you’re living in the furnace. Maybe this isn’t the life you dreamed of in the magazine. Maybe it was never supposed to be.
Having a child or children with social, emotional, or behavioral challenges can make fun family activities a challenge. Karen shares what’s worked for her!
There are some questions in life that cause you to change your special needs parenting priorities. This question is one of them.
But how does this prove that this prominent Christian leader was wrong in his views on depression? Because I have never been closer to Jesus in my life than I was those three months that I was depressed.
I feel guilty about a very strange thing. Not about something I’ve done, but about what I’ve been given. You see, sometimes, their autism isn’t that bad.
The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him. He walks with us, saves us from our troubles, delivers us, and redeems us, according to Psalm 34
How can our churches be safe places for people like me, even those who will never disclose their stories?
Autism and church – it’s a good thing! Behaviors can be embarrassing, but God promises to replace our shame with praise. God wants our kids in church!
When our kids are no longer little and cute, some friends and family members get what Barb calls “compassion fatigue.” She has suggestions for how to help!
The question I’ve asked myself many times is do I want Connor to “be fixed” or do I want Connor to be used for His glory?
70 child abuse allegations are made against churches in the US each week.
If you think mental health ministry is something your church should consider, just start the conversation. If your church is like most, the pastors and staff are already aware of mental health needs in your faith community. Prayerfully consider if Jesus isn’t asking you to step up and reach out to the ones who can’t reach out for themselves.
How do you regulate yourself and help your child with things just feel off?
If children and students at our church only grasp one thing today, what should it be?
If one family from every three churches committed to adopt one child and those three churches committed to support that family, there wouldn’t be children waiting to be adopted in foster care.
And while we pray for healing to come and trust that it will one day, here or in heaven, we keep on loving. Because that’s what our kids need, and that’s what our Father has modeled for us as parents (and as church leaders partnering with families like mine).
Please, don’t say “all kids do that,” because even if behaviors look the same, that doesn’t mean they are the same for our kids from hard places.
The dragon of despair is a dreadful beast. He slides and slithers under the smallest of crevices, feasting on hope, faith and love. He leaves corpses wherever he goes, slaying with haunting words of past dead deeds—words that breed the very contempt from which he is made.
I see you, mama warrior. I see your tears, even as you quickly blink them away. I see your exhaustion, even as you try to hide the yawns. I see your plodding steps, one after another to do whatever it takes for your child.
For years I feared and worried over whether he would ever be able or capable to leave our home and live independently. Now I find a quiet contentment and peace knowing that he will still be with us even as an adult.